Showing posts with label ACoC. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ACoC. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 29, 2020

Pentagon UFO Disclosure




The Department of Defense has finally declassified three previously leaked UFO videos taken by US Navy aircrew in 2004 and 2015. Labelled FLIR, GOFAST and GIMBAL, the films show unidentified aerial craft performing maneuvers beyond the capability of known tech. So what are these UAPs (Unexplained Aerial Phenomenon) and why have they been declassified now?

In answer, no one knows, including the airmen who took the video, they're clearly baffled and excited by the strangeness of what they're seeing. But we can speculate: Hi-Tech ET's, space aliens, extra-dimensional beings, ourselves from the future, demons, random ACoC experiments in theology, secret government tech?


In Space No One Can Hear You Scream

Your call, though I gravitate towards secret government tech or ETs. After all, it can't be the Anglican Church of Canada (ACoC) as that left the planet long ago, and if demons they'd surely be more aggressive. Are they us from the future or another dimension/timeline? If so, are they condemned to a continuous temporal loop? Bad place to be, see Many Dimensions

And why official Navy/DOD/Pentagon imprimatur now? There they are, telling us there's unexplained flying objects in the atmosphere and there it is. Fact. What is this, phase one of Full Disclosure?

You be the judge and stay tuned.

Ad Astra,

LSP

Monday, July 29, 2019

Abductee Says Do Not Contact Evil Aliens



Alien abductee Daryl Sims has issued a dire warning to humanity in an explosive online interview, do not contact aliens because they are malevolent and evil con artists: 

"When people have a positive contact experience, that means you have accepted the program. Some people have died as a result of attempting alien contact while others have been injured. 


  They Come to Help!

"You will experience a feeling of awe and that the aliens are here to help the planet and all these wonderful things – none of which they have ever done."

Sims continued, stating that abductees have been kidnapped by space aliens and regret the experience, they "don't like what happens":


Off-World

"On the other hand, there is another group called alien abductees, who feel they have been kidnapped or taken without their will. These people often remember parts of the event, sometimes all of it and they don’t like what happens."


 A Typical Grey

Spokespersons for the Episcopal Church, Anglican Church of Canada, the Church of England and Pope Francis declined to comment.




Here at the Compound we urge extreme caution when interacting with extraterrestrials.

Ad Astra,

LSP


Monday, July 15, 2019

Oh Look, it's ACoC!



Just when you thought ACoC (Anglican Church of Canada) had vanished forever into the icy void of deep space than she reappears, boldly "crossing the rainbow."

Keen-eyed xenologists will note ACoC's new top bishop figure, Linda Nicholls, at the back of the tiny church's procession. 


Take Me To Your Leader

Whether the small and getting smaller off-world denomination will attempt to establish a base on earth or return to the vacuum remains to be seen.

Ad Astra,

LSP

Tuesday, April 9, 2019

I Saw A UFO On Sunday



A UFO? Don't you mean ACoC (Anglican Church of Canada), flying across the heavens on its way to the icy void of deep space? No, readers, this was the real deal.

Two days ago I stepped out onto Compound's back porch to take in the starry brilliance of a Texan night sky. OK, not as Milky Way remarkable as, say, West Texas but still, not bad. Then a light appeared in my peripheral vision, very bright, moving North to South. 


The exhaust looked a bit like this but more defined

I thought it was a chopper, perhaps a Careflight, or Law Enforcement chasing down some cultural enrichment. In a second it was in front and above me, moving fast. I looked up, noticing an intermittent jetlike red exhaust behind the craft. Weird, do choppers do that? then registered that whatever it was was silent, no noise whatsoever. 




No sooner noted than the light and exhaust blinked out as though they had never been, nothing was there, not even a silhouette against the starlit sky. So what was this thing?

Some kind of new, noiseless stealth tech, a visitor from another dimension, defying the laws of space and time? A Toronto deanery,  a liturgical dancer, Hillary's emails? Who knows, but there it was, silent and fast, and then it wasn't.

Make of this what you will,

LSP

Tuesday, August 28, 2018

Pope Implicated in Alleged Sex Scandal Cover Up



There's something about the rainbow riding antics of the Worldwide Anglican Non Communion that makes it a fair target. 

Is ACoC (Anglican Church of Canada) lost in the icy void of deep space, is the CofE controlled by Mantis People and the Episcopal Church setting up Jesus Movement worship spaces on the Red Planet, all to the beat of heart warming liturgical dance? 

Good question but when it comes to the broader Church things get more serious. As in Pope Francis and other senior members of the Hierarchy allegedly covering up Cardinal McCarrick's gay sex abuse.

Here's Damian Thompson:

Pope Francis stands accused this morning (26 August) of covering up the crimes of ex-Cardinal Theodore McCarrick of Washington, one of the most senior and sinister sex abusers in the history of the Catholic Church.
The allegation comes from the Vatican’s former apostolic nuncio to the United States, Archbishop Carlo Maria Viganò, 77, who has called on the Pope to resign.
In a devastating 11-page written testament, Viganò says Francis lifted severe sanctions imposed on McCarrick for sexual wrongdoing by Pope Benedict XVI, the existence of which has not been made public until now.
Viganò writes that he told Francis in person in 2013 that McCarrick ‘had corrupted generations of seminarians and priests and Pope Benedict ordered him to withdraw to a life of prayer and penance’.
But, says the former nuncio, the new Pope decided instead to cover up for the retired Archbishop of Washington – and made him one of his most trusted advisers.

It's scathing stuff and Thompson gets right down to it.

But the document’s (Vigano's) detailed allegations cannot to be dismissed on grounds of bias. Either they are true or they are false. If they are true, then Pope Francis has actively promoted the career of a sex abuser, knowing of the allegations against him – and sabotaged Pope Benedict’s attempt to protect the Church from any further crimes by Theodore McCarrick.

You can read the whole thing here and here.

Pray for the Church,

LSP 

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Bishops Abandon ACoC!



Do you remember ACoC, the tiny Canadian Anglican franchise? Perhaps not, you've been busy watching Ice Ice Baby on a continuous loop. But press pause and listen up; ACoC's bishops are abandoning their dimunitive denomination in droves.


ACoC Bishop Figures

Archbishop Fred Hiltz, ACoC supremo, has announced his resignation. Michael Bird, Bishop of Niagara, Colin Johnson of Toronto, Donald Phillips of Rupert's Land and now Archbishop Privett of Kootenay and The People, have all told the world they're Xing out of ACoC.

Why are these bishop figures leaving the church they helped to destroy build? Here's Samizdat:



Time We Left This Planet

They are all liberal and heartily endorse same-sex marriage. Why have they all decided to leave now? Do they know something we don’t about the fate of the ACoC? Are they concerned that there is no future for them in the ACoC because they are all heterosexual? Have they reached that stage in life when ambition yields to the sad realisation that all the ecclesiastical mayhem that can possibly be inflicted on the Anglican Communion in one lifetime has already been wrought during their climb up the greasy clerical pole?


Return To The Source!

All good questions but let's apply Occam's Razor. Could it be that, work done, the Mothership is calling them home?

Food for thought, eh?

LSP

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

NASA Probe Unravels Great Red Spot Mystery



NASA's Juno space probe has captured dramatic photos deep within the heart of the Jupiter's Great Red Spot, revealing what appears to be the head of the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justsin Welby.

Juno left earth in 2011, making its first pass over Jupiter's Great Red Spot in July, 2017. Astronomer's discovered that the Spot has deep roots, well into the planet's atmosphere.




"Juno data indicate that the solar system's most famous storm is almost one-and-a-half Earths wide, and has roots that penetrate about 200 miles (300 kilometers) into the planet's atmosphere,” said Scott Belton, Juno's principal investigator.

However, star gazing boffins were shocked to find the Archbishop of Canterbury in Juno's camera footage.




"It came as a shock," stated Belton, "We didn't expect to find Justin Welby so far down in the Red Spot, right there at the bottom,"

Others aren't convinced. "This is absurd. It's obviously not the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby," said one expert, "It's just hot gas. Red Spot Junior is ACoC (Anglican Church of Canada), we know that."




Juno continues on its journey out of the solar system and into the icy void of deep space.

Ad Adstra,

LSP


Tuesday, November 21, 2017

El Dorado



Imagine, for a moment, that you were a creature from another planet or even terrestrial continent, like ACoC or Jeremy Corbyn, visiting Dallas for the first time and that you knew nothing about it whatsoever. You arrive as the sun's setting. What do you see?


The Lost City of Z

Buildings made of gold, a veritable El Dorado. Full of thoughts of unimaginable wealth you return to your people and organize raiding parties, colonists to seize the gold. Only to find, when you reach the fabled City of Z, that the buildings are made of glass.


Gold or Glass? You Decide

I reflected on that as I drove through the metrospawl on the way back from my old pal, the dentist. And I imagined the ruin, the vast mound, that will be the rebar legacy of this conurbation when it comes crashing down, as it must.


A Typical Millionaire Degenerate

Speaking of which, Charlie Rose has come crashing down. Sic transit gloria degeneracy.

Cheers,

LSP

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

UFO Hunters Find ACoC On Mars!



Amazed UFO hunters believe they've discovered ACoC (Anglican Church of Canada) on the surface of the red planet.

Images of the crashed 1.3 mile long object were discovered in footage from NASA's Mars Global Surveyor, leading xenologists to conclude that ACoC had at last been found.


ACoC Enhanced

“I have processed, colorized and rebuilt the object and in my opinion it is ACoC," stated one expert, "The object is too degraded to enhance totally so I have rebuilt it using the points of interest, it's also over a mile long, so this must have been a mothership, either a Martian one or possibly an off planet alien species. That's when we realized we had found ACoC, but why did it crash?”

Why did it crash, on Mars?


Why Did It Crash?

That, readers, is a very good question.

Ad Astra,

LSP

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Anglican Church of Canada Spotted Over Yorkshire



Two stargazers were shocked when they spotted ACoC (Anglican Church of Canada) flying high above England's famous Yorkshire Dales.

Jayson Morehead, 21, and Keith Downlow, 23, got more than they bargained for when they went camping in the Dales to "look at the stars." 




"We were looking at the stars," stated Morehead, "When it just popped up on the horizon, blinking red, purple and rainbow [sic]. Then disappeared back where it came from. I was not sure if I saw it but looked at Keith and his face was white.

"It was there one minute, then next it lit up like a bolt of lightening. It was like a flash and whoosh, it was gone. If I'd blinked I would have missed it.




"It was absolutely incredible. The stars were dots in the night sky and the Anglican Church of Canada was the size of a 5p. It was hard to judge how far away it was but it was definitely higher than the hills."

Why the diminutive ACoC was flying above the Yorkshire Dales only to suddenly disappear remains a mystery.




Fred Hiltz declined to comment.

Ad Astra,

LSP


Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Mystery Planet Home to ACoC?

The Anglican Church of Canada

Stargazing boffins have spotted a mystery world which may be home to the long-lost Anglican Church of Canada (ACoC).


Star Map

Astronomers at the European Southern Observatory discovered a world orbiting our closest star, Alpha Centauri, that's only four light years away. Because the mysterious planet inhabits the "goldilocks zone," allowing it to have liquid water, the planet may host life, and ACoC.


In Space No One Can Hear You Scream

Eager scientists are trying to find a way to send a gigantic robot probe to the planet to see if it's home to alien life forms. However, although close in astronomical terms, it would take 76,000 years to reach using present day spacefaring technology.

According to Nick Pope, a UK based UFO expert, the discovery is "game-changing."


Space Aliens

"This game-changing discovery may help us answer the question of whether or not the Anglican Church of Canada is in this universe," he stated, "Many people believe there are aliens out there and now it's possible they're our galactic next door neighbours."


The Church of England

The Anglican Church of Canada left earth orbit several decades ago and has yet to be found. Whether the tiny denomination will be discovered circling our nearest star is uncertain because of the distances involved.


Artist's Impression of a Light Sail Starship 

When asked if it was building a "light sail" to reach the far-off planet and make contact with the diminutive ACoC, Lambeth Palace declined to comment.

Ad Astra,

LSP

Friday, April 26, 2013

Alien, Rock, ACoC Bishop?

ACoC Bishop?

A concerned and worried Anonymous has just sent this in:

"so today i was cleaning up my yard where my old pourch use to be, and i saw this wierd looking roke half barried so i picked it up and brushed it off and i realized it want a rock its a fossle. 

Terrifying Space Creature


"it scared the living shit out of me. it looked like that little alien guy off of men in black. but anyways i decided to do some reasearch on google looking though pics and from the discription they look freakishly alike.... i want to go and get this checked out but i dont know where? i live in montana..."

We run this Church



Has Anonymous found a fossilized space creature? An old rock? Or just some run-of-the-mill Canadian Bishop?

Mad Grey


Team LSP awaits the photos.

Archbishop of Toronto?!?


In the meanwhile, shoot straight, if you can find any ammo.

Cheers,

LSP

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Rogue Bishop Found Deep in the Tundra?

Rowan

Rumours that the elusive former Bishop of Calgary, Derek Hoskin, had left earth along with his mythically small denomination ACoC (Anglican Church of Canada), may be unfounded.

Anglican Bishop?

A crack team of Russian scientists have just concluded DNA testing on hair samples taken from deep within the frozen wasteland of Siberia, leading them to speculate that they have discovered a new species, part man, part monkey.

Derek

According to scientists at the Universities of Moscow and St. Petersburg, the hair "came from a human-like creature which is not a Homosapien yet is more closely related to man than a monkey. We think we have found an Anglican Bishop, possibly Derek Hoskin."

Rowan?

Previous attempts to verify supposed sightings of Derek Hoskin have failed due to lack of evidence, but three separate DNA tests of the "yeti hair" may put the enigma to rest. A fourth test is set to take place in the United Kingdom.

An alternative theory suggests that the mysterious hair may come from the outgoing Archbishop of Canterbury.

Derek? Or Rowan?

Neither Lambeth Palace nor the Diocese of Calgary were available for comment.

LSP


Saturday, September 29, 2012

Anglican Church of Canada Declines, Members Sing and Dance!



Faced with over 50 years of continuous decline, graying membership, a second quarter deficit of 900,000 "loonies" and a mere 320,000 pewsitters per Sunday, dioceses and parishes across the Anglican Church of Canada (ACoC) are being forced to take drastic measures.

Justice Camp. That'll pack 'em in!

The Diocese of Toronto is advertising Justice Camp, where the people sing. Here's an excerpt, to the tune of My Favorite Things, apparently:

Meeting with Linda, with movers & shakers,
Activists, greenies, and health-and peace-makers,
MP’s and editors, right on the ball,
Help us respond to our fai-aithful call.
Postcards and letters and online petitions,
Rallies and sit-ins with local musicians,
Scripture reminds us to take care of all-
Working for justice can be such a ball!


Refrain 

When our greed strikes,
When our fears roar,
When we’re feeling proud,
We simply remember our fai-aithful call -
And then we can speak out loud!


Catchy, isn't it.

Some churches have turned to liturgical dance in a desperate bid to feel good, despite all those empty pews.


note the disgruntled 'subdeacon'...

And the circle just gets wider, unless you're a trad, in which case the Diocese of Huron evicts you and puts concrete blocks in front of your church so no one can get in.

Well done ACoC. Now no one gets to go to St. Hildas's. 
ACoC looks set to continue on its current trajectory away from earth and into the stellar void of deep space.

Thanks, Samizdat, for the stats and pics.

God bless.

LSP