Showing posts with label church of england. Show all posts
Showing posts with label church of england. Show all posts

Saturday, October 24, 2020

Good and Bad

 



Good and bad? You see, there's a difference. On the one hand there's good and on the other, there's bad. Sometimes the two different things masquerade as the same thing, we see this in politics and also in the church. Here, look at this.




That's the bishop figure of London, pretending to be something good, a bishop, which she doesn't believe in anyway. Bad. And here's a couple of clowns celebrating Yewkrist at Trinity Wall Street.




Sinister, don't you think? Go on, receive unholy communion from the clown; sorry about the children, they don't deserve such abuse. But it doesn't have to be this way. There are alternatives.




You can worship God without blasphemously clowning around. Good. It's been done for a few thousand years and's still going on today. Perhaps you need to search it out, it can be hard to find, but it's there and it's worth it.




I say worth it, maybe you'd prefer something else, something more attune to the spirit of the age, something like this:




Why? Because, you know, wymxn priests are gonna fill the pews. Speaking of which, church attendance in England continues to plummet.

At the time of writing, the number of old wymxn on the venerable Church of England's Bench of Bishops is unknown. 

Your Pal,

LSP

Tuesday, September 1, 2020

Archbishop of Canterbury Found on Mars



Startling footage from a NASA Mars rover appears to show a giant statue of the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, on the Red Planet.

While some believe the statue depicts a slave owning Egyptian Pharaoh, careful analysis by a leading UK xenologist says otherwise, that the off-world monument is the Church of England's top bishop figure.


Pharaoh

"It appears to have eye, nose, chin and a very extended forehead, which may have occupied a more enhanced brain. And it's clearly wearing a mitre. All features of Justsin Welby [sic]," stated the ET expert who wishes to remain anonymous.


Extended Forehead Stripped Pine

The colossal pharaonic statue of the Archbishop of Canterbury on Mars comes at a difficult time for the Church of England, which has accused itself of systemic racism and plans to remove statues from its churches and cathedrals to end injustice.


Violent

Whether the declining denomination's statuary purge will extend to Mars has yet to be seen. Lambeth Palace declined to comment.

Ad Astra,

LSP

Monday, April 13, 2020

Some Kind Of Joke Mate?



Here's the Archbishop of Canterbury, he's saying a worship ritual in his kitchen. No kidding, the leader, the apostolic head of the English Church is gettin' down like a bit-part chef in his plates-on-the-wall kitchen. Really? Yes, really, when he had all of Lambeth Palace to raise up the people to Christ and hope, strength and consolation in the Risen Lord.

That aside, why aren't COE clergy allowed to livestream services from their churches? Not optimal, granted, but better than some low-level, stripped-pine  kitchen malfeasance. Maybe it's because Welby, an Etonian, didn't want his clergy to seem somehow elitist by, you know, saying worship rituals in their churches when everyone else is at home.




What utter, imbecilic, risible, faked up, hypocritical, weak, rubbish plate-on-the-wall uselessness. And what a total contrast to HRH Elizabeth II. She used her privilege, and it's not inconsiderable, to lift the nation and its people. 

Of course the Queen represents the old and true England, unlike the laughable, equivocating, bishop figure currently holding down the See of Canterbury. But hey, when you're heading up the third largest communion in the world, do it in your kitchen coz that's a powerful message.

Your Pal,

LSP

Sunday, October 13, 2019

Church of England Seekers Flock to Hill in Thailand




It may sound like science fiction but UFO seekers are flocking to a hill in northwest Thailand in the hope of spotting the venerable if illusive Church of England. They say it's the same old rock and a journey.

"We use a crocodile-infested lake as a portal from their planets, " said one user, "Pluto and Loku. And while it may sound like science fiction, messages from aliens arriving in spaceships include plenty of off-beat if culturally normative religious teachings too -- yes, I believe they are actually from the Church of England."




"It's all happening three hours by road or rail north from Bangkok in Nakhon Sawan, there it is, the Church of England," opined another church-watcher, "which translates to 'Not The City of Heaven.'" Others aren't too sure.

"Without all the UFO hype, it's just a laid-back small town, risible joke," said a local expert, "But followers believe that if you meditate on Khao Kala hill, outside of Nakhon Sawan, you'll hear the talkative silver bishops as voices in your head, speaking whatever language your thoughts usually chatter. Ignore them."




Ignore them? As you were.

Ad Astra,

LSP

Saturday, October 5, 2019

Church of England Captured on Film



There it is. You step out on the back porch for some coffee and "quiet time" and what do you get? Yes, the Church of England.




There she was, climbing up my window,  a ferocious predator. I had to ask, is this the whole denomination or just its leader?




Lambeth Palace declined to comment. In the meanwhile, rumours of Mantis People, Mantids, taking over the venerable CoE are just that, rumours.

Quatermass,

LSP

Friday, September 27, 2019

Glory Bee!



Sometimes a picture's worth a thousand words, and herein ends this evening's insightful political commentary. Cost? 1 Euro or to you, readers, free.

Moving from secular to, ahem, sacred, the Church of England's venerable Winchester Cathedral, founded in the 7th century A.D., has installed a Giant Bee above its front door.




That's right, a GIANT BEE. Here it is, getting ready to be hoisted up on the church's imposing western front. Attractive, isn't it. "But why," you ask, "this tremendous bee?" 




The Very Reverend Catherine Ogle, Dean of Winchester explains, "The bee is a great symbol of the beauty and intricate connection of creation," and, "The Giant Bee also symbolises the importance of recycling, incorporating materials that have been thrown away or donated."

Thank God for that. Who knows, perhaps Winchester's Giant Bee will play its part in reversing the CofE's unsettling decline, and it's serious. According to the UK's Guardian, Church of England attendance is at an all time low, with the number of people identifying with the state religion falling from 31% in 2002 to 14% in 2018.




Winchester Cathedral's press office announced its bold bee initiative with the arresting headline "Glory Bee!" Will this curious mix of parochial mawkishness meets green religion-of-the-hive convert the English? And if so, to what, the Bee Goddess?

Don't say Christianity.

LSP

Saturday, May 25, 2019

Are UFOs A Threat To National Security?



"Holy s___, what is that?" exclaimed one shocked Navy pilot as a UFO darted across his field of view. But this wasn't an isolated report.


"It's white. It has no wings. It has no rotors."



"It didn't fly like an aircraft. It was so unpredictable—high g, rapid velocity, rapid acceleration." 

"I didn't see a trail."

"It was going 70-plus knots underwater."




These are excerpts from newly declassified military reports, in which top elite airpersons describe their otherworldly encounters with mysterious craft and the beings that pilot them.




Here at the Compound we have to ask, are these Unexplained Aerial Phenomena (UAP) on or off world? You, the reader, be the judge.

Lambeth declined to comment,

LSP

Wednesday, May 15, 2019

Cannibals And An Apology


Are these Deep State coup conspirators starting to eat each other in a cannibalistic feeding frenzy? Joe Hoft at the Gateway Pundit thinks so and Joe diGenova's advising Imam Brennan and Smirkin' Comey to lawyer up:

Joe diGenova: This is very serious business. For the first time I believe some of these guys are going to prison… Let me tell you something, Horowitz has already concluded that the final three FISAs were completely illegal. He’s now on the brink of finding that the first FISA was completely illegal. Durham has already used a grand jury in Connecticut. They’ve already gotten documents. He’s already talked to the intel people.
Laura Ingraham: How long has this been going on?
Joe diGenova: Durham’s been working for a couple months. The bottom line is this. This is now – big time! This is where Brennan needs five lawyers. Comey needs five lawyers.

Let's see, maybe the old Five Lawyer Trick will work, or not. Speaking of lawyers, here at the Compound we apologize for mistakenly claiming that the new top clergyperson in Jarrow is the Church of England's first ever transgender bishop. This inaccurate and misleading post has been deleted.


A Typical Transgenderist

The new Bishop of Jarrow, Sarah Clark, is not and never has been transgendered, which is clearly evident from photos of Clark's special promotion ceremony in York Minster. These can be seen here

We urge you to inspect these photos carefully because they show that the Bishop of Jarrow is not a man who has transitioned to female, but has always been a woman.

Your Friend,

LSP

Sunday, March 24, 2019

No You Are Not Awesome



My, it being a Sunday, just look at these bishop figures. Imagine, if you can, so many people pretending to be something they don't believe in anyway. I like this infographic:




Touching, isn't it. Then there's the new bishop figure of London, pretty hot, eh? C'mon, COE, let's fill those empty pews!




But don't forget Gloucester, which labours under an ancient curse. Maybe Rachel's going to lift that because she's so feminine and gorgeous.




See, the thing is no one's going to take the venerable if disastrously shrinking Church of England seriously if they don't consecrate women to the episcopate.

Just you wait and see; something nasty in the woodshed? With apologies to the awesome Stella Gibbons, hardly, parading in plain sight.

Your Old Friend,

LSP

Friday, January 11, 2019

Zero Point Energy



What is Zero Point Energy? Thanks to quantum mechanics and Heisenberg's uncertainty principle, we know that the absolute position and velocity of any particle cannot be simultaneously definable.




So even at a temperature of absolute zero, any substance must have a certain minimum energy. This energy is referred to as zero-point energy (ZPE). 




There have been speculations that usable energy might be extracted using ZPE but this is almost certainly pseudoscience.




Lambeth Palace declined to comment.

God bless,

LSP

Friday, December 21, 2018

The Feast of St. Thomas - A Helpful Meditation



It's the Feast of St. Thomas today. He doubted, like the Church of England itself but unlike the Episcopal Church, came to great faith.




Thomas scorned liturgical dance




And hated bad vestments




He was against wimmyn bishops, note Gloucester's teeth. And...




He stood for the Faith.

Here's the collect.

ALMIGHTY and everliving God, who, for the greater confirmation of the faith, didst suffer thy holy Apostle Thomas to be doubtful in thy Son's resurrection; Grant us so perfectly, and without all doubt, to believe in thy Son Jesus Christ, that our faith in thy sight may never be reproved. Hear us, O Lord, through the same Jesus Christ, to whom, with thee and the Holy Ghost, be all honour and glory, now and for evermore. 

Amen.

LSP 

Saturday, December 15, 2018

Church of England Gets Trans Baptism Ritual



As all the world knows, the venerable if shrinking CofE's finally stepped up to the plate and decided to celebrate, bless and affirm transsexuals in a special new naming ritual taken from the Affirmation of Baptismal Faith (ABF).

The new trans worship ceremony's like a Baptism that isn't a Baptism and includes, if High Church desired, anointing with oil, a splash of water and, of course, prayers and a blessing. 





Point being, don't feel like a blasphemous parody of a man or a women. Instead, celebrate your new identity; choice of personal pronoun? Rigorously observed. Such is freedom from tyranny in the 21st Century.

Imagine, just like women's ordination, how this prophetic stance will fill the pews. Until it doesn't. And we have to ask, how many "thought leaders" in the Promethean attempt to overthrow the chains of DNA, Chromosomes and biology itself are ritual occultists? 





To what extent is the decision making body of the Church of England given over to the Adversary. Does that sound extreme, do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law?






To help you formulate an answer, here's a picture of Bruce Jenner. If you want to read about the Church of England's new Strategy For Mission, go here.

All means all,

LSP

Friday, December 14, 2018

Cheer Up!



I apologize. This lighthearted mind blog's become a bit serious, full of letters by French Generals, photos of aging female trolls, assorted Illuminati stooges and the dupe pawn jihadi shills of the NWO. So cheer up and enjoy America's popular and glamorous First Lady looking good on deck. 




And some rod and gun. Shakespeare Ugly Sticks guarding an SKS. Proper little Chicom blaster. Nice, right?





But what about this, a plush unicorn "comfort sock," which has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the Church of England. Beautiful, isn't it.





And for good measure, a lovely Christmas tree ornament.

There, better already!

Your Friend,

LSP

Tuesday, November 27, 2018

State Religion Goes Dhimmwit In Blackburn



If you're a state religion, like the Church of England, it'd be a bit odd if your teaching didn't mirror the state's. Which is awesome as long as the state's Christian, but what happens when it isn't?

Imagine a mythical country where everyone thinks you can change your biologically given gender at will and that anything less is an attack on freedom. 




The freedom to be what you wanna be regardless of your chromosomes. Sure, you've still got to slave away at the cubicle for the Man but you can do it in a frock, because now you're free.

OK. The State Church supports this in our imaginary country and starts telling its few believers that there's no such thing as the fatherhood of God and gets rid of all his oppressive personal pronouns. Boom. Liberty at last.




Now take this small thought experiment a step further.  Say you live in a small town, let's call it Blackburn, where 25% of its 100+k population are Muslim and you decide to hold an "anti war mass" on Armistice Day eve. What happens?

Being a reflection of the state of things, an imam gets up during the beautifully pacifist liturgy and incites Jihad with the Muslim call to prayer or Adhan, thus claiming the cathedral for Islam. 




Speech, as it were, notoriously enacts and there it is, a once Christian cathedral becomes a mosque in the imaginary land of the dhimmwits.

You can read all about this make believe scenario here. The Archbishop of Canterbury's preference for a genderless God is as well known as his love for chinos.




Good luck, CofE,

LSP