So What's Going On In The Church Of England?

 

What an excellent question and I know you're far too busy listening to our beloved Octogenarian Ruler to think much about Old Mother Damnable the dear old Church of England. But here at the Compound we're boycotting the Old Crook and turning night optics to Ecclesia Anglicana, after all, it's Lent. So what's going on. Rev. Dr. Ian Paul sums it up neatly, via Virtueonline:

Since the first report on marriage and sexuality in 1979, in contrast with debates about divorce and about the ministry of women, no consensus for change has emerged. The Shared Conversations and the LLF process have taken up most of the last ten years. The result? We are more anxious, more divided, more uncertain. The fateful phrase 'a radical new Christian inclusion' has unleashed a civil war in the Church.

In that time, adult attendance has fallen 30%, and the decline is accelerating. Child attendance has fallen 40% in the same period. And in the last three years, vocations to ordained ministry have collapsed by 40%. There is a very real prospect that ministry is going to collapse in large parts of the Church of England within the next five years. Where is this on our agenda?

But here is the other stark reality: Other churches are growing. But we are reluctant to learn from them. We now represent something less than 18% of all Christians in a church on Sunday. We have another eight hours scheduled to talk about LLF (Living in Love and Freedom, ie. gay marriage ritual blessings). What it will it produce? More division, more frustration, no more progress. Fiddling whilst Canterbury burns doesn't even capture it.

If we continue this fruitless process, that will be the legacy we leave: the Church of England, a heap of ruins. It is up to us.

 

Quite, and you'll be pleased to know the Church of England feels tremendously guilty about something called "chattel slavery" and intends to send the wymxn priestess gay sex vote buying  (you can't write that, Ed.) vast sum of £100 million to Africa even as English churches are closing and clergy can't afford to keep the lights on.

Nasty at any level

Well you know what they say, go woke go broke, and I guess this exciting dispatch from the War on the Rainbow files vaguely under "Church" and "God."

Just keeping it real,

LSP

Space Aliens

 

Imagine you were in this nightmare world, a country controlled by space aliens who had the moral compass of insects, who saw you as an object, pure and simple, to be used to sate their voracious appetites. A terrifying vision.

Stupid farmer, pay your carbon tax and die

Now imagine further that these aliens, let us call them Mantids, have taken control of the Church, the Schools, the Media and Government, our Finance too. Such is the subtlety of their off-world tech, and you, the human, are their prey to be experimented and fed upon. Yes, fed upon, even as they drive you from your farms into the insect vats. You see, they want the land for themselves.

Mantids and a Grey

A terrifying vision indeed and we must thank Gaia we haven't been taken over by predatory, psychotic Mantids, and that everything's OK. Government, Schools, Media, Finance, all of that, is working benignly in your favor, sacrificially, to benefit you. Everything's just fine.

Archbishop Justsin Welby

You see?

Cheers,

LSP

Happy New Year!

 

Well done, we made it to 2024, no small feat, and local friendlies celebrated the fact with whoops and fireworks which bombed across the firmament like the guns of Kursk. There was traditional gunfire too, off on the edge of town by the sound of it, maybe a pistol or two. All very exciting, and I joined in the fun by setting off a few strips of firecrackers, drawing a big round of Mexican applause.

Fun. Then it was time to head to bed and another installment of Iain Pears' excellent Arcadia, check it out. Today? A brisk walk with an excited dog to the Pick 'n Steal via the Olde Meth Shacke, which is being refurbed by Pedro and his crew. 

Wymmxn Priestesses

Gone are the days of ne'er do wells lolling shirtless and witless in their ragged pajama bottoms, behold instead the new advent of hard at work artisans from south of the border doing their thing. Good for them, though I miss the spectacle of meth shackery, being a creature of tradition. 

A Typical Fighting Monkey

Now, safely back at the Compound, we reflect on the coming year, what will it bring? Good question, and I'm not a betting man but I'll wager my fighting monkey against any ten of your wymmxn priestesses, yes, ten, that 2024 will be even crazier than bad old '23.

Cheers,

LSP

Flotsam And Jetsam

Jetsam, noun, unwanted material or goods that have been thrown overboard from a ship and washed ashore, especially material that has been discarded to lighten the vessel.

Flotsam and jetsam, floating wreckage and unwanted goods thrown off the vessel of modern life. There's a lot of it about, in no particular order:

Harvard, Satan's Vatican

Madonna, Queen of Pop

Justsin Welby, titular head of WANC (Worldwide Anglican Non-Communion)

The sheer genius of Yoko

And liturgical dance, which is so very loved by all

Don't get me wrong, this isn't an exhaustive list, just a snapshot. Feel free to chime in.

Cheers,

LSP

Women Priests Are So Very Very Awesome - Eschaton

 

Why are wymxn priests so very, very awesome? you ask with bated breath. Good question.

some kind of risible joke?

Is it their winsome hands-in-the air jollity?

cross dresser?

Boyish good looks?

you apostate dykes

And obvious reverence for the sacrament they blasphemously pretend to confect.

+++

We were told, you may recall, that if we didn't ordain wimmin to the priesthood no one would take us seriously and everyone would stop going to church. A powerful argument made all the more compelling by the ethical force behind it. Viz. Not having wymxn priests is unjust, bigoted and evil, so we must have they/them.

Leaving aside the hard-edged rigor of late 20th and early 21st century theology, we have to ask: Now that we've ordained wymmin for several decades is everyone taking us seriously and going to church? No, they are not.

Oh dear, we obviously haven't worked the equation hard enough, so maybe trans vicars and rainbow marriage rituals will finally persuade everyone to go to church because we're at last serious about social equity. First phase of the revolution failed? Double down.

But this is a smokescreen. Their intention isn't to build a Church they don't believe in, which they think has been unjust and effectively evil since the days of the Apostles. No, it's to tear it down. No matter, then, if congregations dwindle and die, the wrecking unicorn will have done its rainbow work.

They'll fail in this, the gates of hell shall not prevail, but in the meanwhile "there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect." And persecution such as has been never seen. This is foretold.

Pax et Bonum,

LSP

London Cryptids - The Mullally

 

London, England, is home to many mysterious creatures unacknowledged by conventional science,  such as Springheel Jack, the Highgate Vampire, the Nameless Thing of Berkeley Square, the River Thames Monster and the Mullally.

The Mullally is reportedly a shortsighted half-man, half-woman and manifests itself as an Anglican bishop figure, terrifying onlookers with sexual innuendo and fearsome teeth. Colloquially known as "Bishop of London," the Mullally attempts to hypnotize its hearers with dysphoric doublethink.

"It's just plain ugly," said one clergyman on condition of anonymity. However, the Justsin Welby, another famous London cryptid, disagreed, “I will be extremely joyfully celebratory of these new [gay prayers of gay blessing]." Much like the Mullally, the Justsin Welby instantiates as a bishop figure but witnesses report it will not perform gay blessings out of concern for "pastoral care." 

Scientific consensus rules against sightings of cryptids like the Mullally and the Welby, "They're just fevered products of overheated imagination, not bishops at all," stated a former member of the Church of England's Catholic Group.

Here at the Compound we're inclined to agree with the skeptics.

That is all,

LSP

Look What Happens

 

You take a short break from mind blogging and lo and behold, war nearly breaks out in Serbia/Kosovo, Azerbeijan/Armenia, Taiwan and, in fact, does on the Gaza Strip. Huh, let that be a warning. 

nice cope, rubbish collar

In other news, something called the "Lambeth Conference" is going on in Canterbury, in which the Anglican Communion reaffirms its commitment to heterosexual marriage but equally affirms its gay provinces which don't. The phrase "utterly useless apostate mountebanks" springs to mind.

Grads

More happily, a young soldier's in the house on a weekend pass. This seems to mean playing FPS (First Person Shooter) games with a Death Metal pal in Calgary on the internet, at great volume. Most annoying, but so much better than other alternatives, let the reader understand. And in fairness, the kid gets up at 0500, runs around and does the soldier thing, which is good.

get outta there

He's good at it too, in a rambunctious, fast charging 22 year old kind of way, and's set to become a Team Leader next month. Well done, kid. He deploys to Africa in April '23 for a year, which I think's a good thing. He'll be working with some interesting people.

random Dubonnet Cat marketing

But that's in the future. Here and now, being in the great state of Texas isn't dissimilar to living in a preheating oven. Character building, what? Blessings on this Feast of the Transfiguration.

Your Old Pal,

LSP

Masked Fool

 

Behold the face of brave, fearless, visionary, speaking truth to power Anglicanism today. There it is, mask up, serfs, from Archbishop on down, otherwise you too might live free from fear of a deadly virus which kills maybe 0.27% of the people it infects.

"Man," I told C the HVAC guy this morning, "It's like we've been driven collectively insane. By Satan." He pondered this as we looked out at the Compound's perimeter (Abbott St.). 

"You know, I was at a funeral a few months back, at the Methodist church, 1st Methodist, and the pastor wouldn't even shake my sister's hand, even give her a hug. 'I'm sorry, CDC guidelines, I cannot come any closer to you.' I told that worthless POS if he even spoke to her again there'd be hell to pay."

 

I thought about this, "You mean the skinny little Methodee? I know him."

"Yeah, that's him. Red haired streak of..."

"He's lib, they believe this garbage. They really do. The Church should provide leadership, fearless leadership."

"Right on, brother. Shot some black powder yesterday, felt good."

 

C fixed me with camo-rimmed glasses and Realtree shirt, that much of him was invisible, and we grinned. "Black powder, stick it to the Man. And while we're at it, come on in and help out at the Missions, we don't wear masks."

Unlike Welby, whose pathetic ASA (average Sunday Attendance) is plummeting. Is this Providence in action?

#2A,

LSP

A Short Sunday Sermon

 

This is the leader of the worldwide Anglican Non-Communion (WANC), Archbishop of Canterbury Justsin Welby.  It would be uncharitable to say that Welby brokered womxn bishop figures into the Church of England and is no longer able to touch the Sacrament with his hands. So I won't say it, but he's clearly afraid of something, unlike these nurses, have a look:

They’re not allowed to tell us it’s all bullshit. They’re showing us instead.. pic.twitter.com/Wlx90PIMX1

— Peep’s Troll 🇺🇸 (@peoples_troll) January 3, 2021

As you can see, these medical professionals are clearly overwhelmed by the catastrophic pandemic which has swept through the Sceptered Isle. Or are they sending a message? Speaking of which, the CDC is telling us some 300,000 in the US people died of the China Virus in 2020, around 0.1% of the populace.

A tragedy, but worth shutting the country down for? Well yes, if it'll help you win an election and get rid of the hated Orange Man. After all, that Chinese cash doesn't come for free you know; the Mandarins expect a healthy return on their investment. And the point of this short evening homily?

Their ruler is the Father of Lies and a murderer from the beginning. But remember, he has been defeated and his days numbered. Take heart in that and pray for angelic protection in the day of battle and the powerful intercession of Our Lady, whose offspring crushes the serpent's head underheel.

Here endeth the Lesson,

LSP

A Sunday Reflection - The Wicked Tenants

Do you remember the parable of the wicked tenants, the murderous usurpers who attempt to steal a husbandman's vineyard for themselves only to come to a miserable end? (Matt. 34-44)

It's a terrifying warning. What will happen to the tenants who beat, stone and kill the owner's servants and murder his son, asks Jesus of the priests and elders. They reply, unwittingly condemning themselves, "He will miserably destroy those wicked men, and will let out his vineyard unto other husbandmen, which shall render him the fruits in their seasons." (Matt. 21:41) 

So it came to pass, and I usually take the opportunity to wax large on the siege of Jerusalem and beat on the iniquitous, apostate heretics infesting the Western Church. Watch out, you brood of vipers or the vineyard will be taken from you.

All well and good, and doubtless an appropriate sermon at, say, the Church of England's York Synod or the Episcopal Church's General Convention. But pause for a moment and consider the features of the vineyard.

It stands for Israel of course, planted by God, with a hedge, the Law, a winepress, the Altar, and a watchtower, the Temple. All of this is present in the new Israel of the Church, which is called to "render him the fruits in their seasons." What is this fruit and where is it offered?

On the wine press which sits between hedge and tower, Law and Temple, as does the Cross between the Incarnation and the Resurrection. And what is the Cross but Christ's sacrificial altar, on which the perfect fruit of the vineyard, righteousness, the Word made flesh, is offered to the Father.

The fruit then, ultimately, is Christ himself, righteousness incarnate, sacrificed on Calvary, and we enter into union with this offering and "yield it up" sacramentally at the altars of of our churches. There, we abide in Christ and he in us. "Abide in me, and I in you," says Jesus,  "As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me." (Jn. 15:4)

This, surely, is the endeavor of the Christian life; as faithful tenants of the vineyard to live ever more closely in Christ, offering up the fruit which is pleasing to the Father, Jesus himself. And as we do, by the grace of God and the working of the Spirit, become channels of his righteousness in the world. 

Unless you're a wicked heretic of course, in which case the concluding words of our Lord ring true with awful effect, "And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder." (Matt. 21:44) 

And so we come full circle. Take note, Justsin Welby and, for that matter, everyone else.

God bless,

LSP

Mantid Takeover

Do aliens live among us? Technologically advanced creatures from another star or dimension which have the ability to appear human but are, in fact, extraterrestrials? Could they be hiding in plain sight?

What's their agenda; power, wealth, world domination and the enslavement of humanity? The gradual replacement of mankind with a race of freakish hybrids, drones of the hive mind collective which slavishly do their off-world rulers' bidding?

Are they present in the very institutions we hold dear? The Armed Forces, our revered political class, media and entertainment industry? Even Hollywood itself may not be exempt. To say nothing of our financial institutions, perhaps you remember Dominique Strauss-Kahn.

Some say aliens, Mantis People or Mantids, can even be found at the highest levels of our Holy Mother the Church, where they subvert and twist the Gospel for their own purple-robed, insectoid ends.

Here at the Compound we reached out to Lambeth Palace for comment, but spokespyrsxns for Archbishop Justsin Welby refused to return our calls. 

Were they too busy purging systemic racism, tearing down statues, and creating gender neutral safe spaces for once innocent CoE students? 

Possibly. Never forget, Mantids do not think as we do.

Ad Astra,

LSP

Craven Mountebanks

The Archbishop of Mountebankery

Some of you may have noticed that the small and getting smaller Church of England had the sheer, brazen, literal temerity to publish a Pastoral Statement reaffirming heterosexual marriage. The numerically declining but Guardian strong prelates of the venerable CofE actually brought themselves to issue this:

It has always been the position of the Church of England that marriage is a creation ordinance, a gift of God in creation and a means of his grace. Marriage, defined as a faithful, committed, permanent and legally sanctioned relationship between a man and a woman making a public commitment to each other, is central to the stability and health of human society. 

OMG. Really, marriage is something that takes place between men and women, like, what? The bishops, emboldened, go on:

In the light of this understanding the Church of England teaches that “sexual intercourse, as an expression of faithful intimacy, properly belongs within marriage exclusively” (Marriage: a teaching document of the House of Bishops, 1999). Sexual relationships outside heterosexual marriage are regarded as falling short of God’s purposes for human beings.

 The Unicorn is a Vicious Beast

Sit down, take a deep breath and reflect on the miracle. Yes, the Church of England's bishops actually restated the Church's teaching on marriage. Then the rainbow revolted in a firestorm of gaily hued rage and everything fell apart. Enter craven mountebanks #1 and #2, the Archbishops of Canterbury and York, Welby and Sentamu. They apologized like beaten children for offending the genderless hivemind of the New World Order, here they are:

We as archbishops, alongside the bishops of the Church of England, apologise and take responsibility for releasing a statement last week which we acknowledge has jeopardised trust. We are very sorry and recognise the division and hurt this has caused.

Jeopardised trust? Yes you have, in the minds of faithful Christians everywhere as you capsize and cower under the threat of the thudding hooves of the dominant rainbow unicorn. We are very sorry, yes, you should be, for being weak, ineffectual, cowardly, Quisling, false apostles.

At what point, we have to ask, will white lib self-loathing come to an end, to say nothing of bishops gaining the courage to openly profess the Faith.

Craven Mountebank #1 and Craven Mountebank #2

Compound consensus says  things'll get worse before they get better, see the Benedict Option. In the meanwhile, behold the apostate face of Canterbury and York.

Your Old Ally,

LSP

Are UFOs A Threat To National Security?

"Holy s___, what is that?" exclaimed one shocked Navy pilot as a UFO darted across his field of view. But this wasn't an isolated report.

"It's white. It has no wings. It has no rotors."

"It didn't fly like an aircraft. It was so unpredictable—high g, rapid velocity, rapid acceleration." 

"I didn't see a trail."

"It was going 70-plus knots underwater."

These are excerpts from newly declassified military reports, in which top elite airpersons describe their otherworldly encounters with mysterious craft and the beings that pilot them.

Here at the Compound we have to ask, are these Unexplained Aerial Phenomena (UAP) on or off world? You, the reader, be the judge.

Lambeth declined to comment,

LSP

Time Traveler

A transdimensional time traveler has broken silence to tell us what life was like for the Worldwide Anglican Non Communion pre 2000, Before Trans Era (BTE).

Some Kind of Joke?

"It was different," says "Josh" who wishes to remain anonymous, "We were there, like a normal church, and then everything got weird. There were all these priestesses and they did some kind of deal with the gays. Maybe in Chicago.

Gene, Loretta, Sharpton, the Trinity

"Next thing you know they'd gone full rainbow and there were lesbian bishops and this guy, Gene Robinson, but he's gone now because it's not cool to be gay, you have to be trans. 

Gross Van Dyke

"I know this, I sat in Ian Markham's study at VTS, he went to King's, and heard it all spelled out. It was going to get them lots of people in the pews but it didn't. More people get buried in the Episcopal Church than get baptized."

Psi Power

Ian Markham, Dean of the prestigious white privilege seminary, VTS, was unavailable for comment and so was "Josh", the time traveler. The Episcopal Church continues to hemorrhage members despite going "full rainbow."

Justsin

The Archbishop of Canterbury is popularly known as "Justsin."

God bless,

LSP