London Cryptids - The Mullally

 

London, England, is home to many mysterious creatures unacknowledged by conventional science,  such as Springheel Jack, the Highgate Vampire, the Nameless Thing of Berkeley Square, the River Thames Monster and the Mullally.

The Mullally is reportedly a shortsighted half-man, half-woman and manifests itself as an Anglican bishop figure, terrifying onlookers with sexual innuendo and fearsome teeth. Colloquially known as "Bishop of London," the Mullally attempts to hypnotize its hearers with dysphoric doublethink.

"It's just plain ugly," said one clergyman on condition of anonymity. However, the Justsin Welby, another famous London cryptid, disagreed, “I will be extremely joyfully celebratory of these new [gay prayers of gay blessing]." Much like the Mullally, the Justsin Welby instantiates as a bishop figure but witnesses report it will not perform gay blessings out of concern for "pastoral care." 

Scientific consensus rules against sightings of cryptids like the Mullally and the Welby, "They're just fevered products of overheated imagination, not bishops at all," stated a former member of the Church of England's Catholic Group.

Here at the Compound we're inclined to agree with the skeptics.

That is all,

LSP

British Cryptids

Great Britain's no stranger to the weird and wonderful, to mysterious creatures which may or may not be real. Experts, brave enough to look beyond the dogma of current scientific orthodoxy call them "cryptids," creatures that aren't proved by science, until they are. Here at the Compound we're pleased to present a sample of these beasts from the Sceptered Isle.

The Mullally

The Mullally. Long thought to be a lingering remnant of pagan devotion to the corn goddess, the Mullally mythos starts in Devon and became popularized in the 17th century children's song, "Mullally, Mullally, we all fall down." Sightings of the large toothed cryptid are currently confined to London. 

The Southwark

The Mullally is not to be confused with the Southwark, popularly known as the Streatham Werewolf and famous for howling, "I'm the Southwark, it's what I do!" Recent sightings of this half-man, half- something else seem to indicate the Southwark has grown less aggressive in recent years.

Boy

Moving North, reports are coming in about a strange creature locals call "Boy."  Boy, apparently a holdover from an age where biological sex and dentistry was somehow blurred, stalks the winding, cobbled streets of Gloucester, a cathedral city labouring under an ancient curse.

So Faull

To the Northeast, local legend talks of the Faull, part man, part woman, who haunts the onetime Royalist port of Bristol. Witnesses report earsplitting shrieks, cutting the night, "Am I a man!?!"

The Nameless Thing

Then there's the Nameless Thing. A vampire?

Cheers,

LSP