Saturday, February 28, 2015

Bishop Michael Ingham Found on Mars?

The famous Bishop of New Westminster, Michael Ingham, may have been found, on Mars. 

Pictures from NASA show what appears to be an ordinary rock, standing by itself in the dust of the red planet. But when the image is enlarged, a different picture emerges, revealing what seems to be the face of Bishop Michael Ingham.

While some have dismissed the face of the bishop as being a photshopped rock, others disagree.

"Very interesting," stated one expert, "Eyeball and teeth in a half face.It's clear from the original NASA photo that this hasn't been shopped. And the flat areas seem also artificial. Strange."

Photoshopped space rock, or head of the Bishop of New Westminster?

You decide.


Friday, February 27, 2015

Jihadi John Anglican Schoolboy

Do you remember Jihadi John? The Fortran programmer from West London who couldn't get a good mainframe gig in England, so he travelled to Syria for better "opportunities for jobs," and went Full-Jihad?

Sure you do, but what you may not know is that he attended a Church of England school. Thanks, Samizdat, for letting us know.

Way to go, Welby. Who knows, if Mohammed Emwazi had had the chance to be taught by the new Stonewall curriculum everything would be better.

Or not.



Maybe it's the cold, maybe it's something else, like the destruction of Apostolic Order in the Church of England, but whatever the case, there's a lot of elf chatter going on at the moment.

Matters came to a head in Iceland, where a new road project was blocked due to concerns it would destroy an elf, or "huldufolk," habitat, including an elf church. Local authorities were unwilling risk the elves' "displeasure" and halted the construction. 

"Mainly they're a peaceable breed but if you treat them with disrespect, for example by blasting dynamite through their rock houses and churches, they're not reticent about showing their displeasure," stated Emma Kirby, for the BBC.

According to surveys, 62% of Icelanders believe in elves, Here in the US, construction of the Keystone pipeline has been vetoed by President Obama.

No one knows for sure how many elves live in America.


Ice Age Apocalypse

So far it's been another day of climate disruption here in Texas, with freezing wind and driving snow. 

Unfazed by the icy apocalypse, I drove down Highway 22 to do some trading in Whitney. Snow was drifting in places on the small country road, and it's not too often that you see that in Texas.

Blue Eschaton doesn't seem particularly worried about the imminent destruction of the world by snow and ice. He may not be aware of research showing that the earth could have entered an intergalactic cloud, with untold consequences for the heliosphere, the sun itself, and life on earth in its present form.

Extremely Sensible Ears

In the meanwhile, tiny crystals of ice are falling from the sky.

Keep safe,


Thursday, February 26, 2015

Jihadi John & Global Warming

It's snowing here, as usual, so I asked a cowboy who has a hat and cattle, if we should hold Stations of the Cross outside this evening. He wasn't buying, which means our symbolic pilgrimage to Calvary will be inside today. So much for Climate Change, which has made everything colder because it's so much warmer.

In other news, Jihadi John, the notorious ISIS headsman, has been identified as Mohammed Emwazi. Emwazi comes from a well-to-do London family, and graduated from College with a degree in computer programming before leaving Britain for Syria and the Caliphate.

Job Chart

I guess there weren't enough opportunities for programming jobs to give Mohammed Emwazi a fulfilling existence in Britain. Maybe all he knew was Fortran or something, and just couldn't cut it in today's fast-paced IT workplace. So he went Jihad, and starting cutting people's heads off.

Perhaps Jihadi John will be brought to justice at the hands of Yazidi women. In the meanwhile, it continues to snow.


Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Audit the Fed

Andrew Jackson had this to say to the Bank of the United States in 1834:

I too have been a close observer of the doings of the Bank of the United States. I have had men watching you for a long time, and am convinced that you have used the funds of the bank to speculate in the breadstuffs of the country. When you won, you divided the profits amongst you, and when you lost, you charged it to the Bank. You tell me that if I take the deposits from the Bank and annul its charter I shall ruin ten thousand families. That may be true, gentlemen, but that is your sin! Should I let you go on, you will ruin fifty thousand families, and that would be my sin! You are a den of vipers and thieves. I have determined to rout you out and, by the Eternal, I will rout you out.

The Fed, which creates our money and loans it to the government at interest, ponder that, doesn't want to be audited. Well that's really weird.

You might want to read this, at ZeroHedge.


Is the Anglican Church of Canada Just a Kite?

A mysterious object captured on film may be nothing more than a purple kite, instead of the Anglican Church of Canada (ACoC).

Many observers were shocked to see a strange purple object hovering in the air over a building site in Lima, Peru, and believed they may have spotted ACoC. But others have been quick to dismiss the "UFO" sighting as a kite, instead of the small denomination.

"The object is too far out to see strings," stated one analyst, "so if there are strings we don't have the pixel resolution to make them out. However, we see at each end a darker patch which is likely where the kite fabric is doubling over where the strings attach.[...] Lastly, I'm not certain which direction, west or east, the camera is facing - but I get the feeling it's likely pointing toward the ocean where the beach is. Where there is a beach there is wind and kites."

Where there is a beach there is wind and kites. Could the Anglican Church of Canada be a purple kite, blown by the wind over a beach in Peru, or is it a gaily colored spaceship, flying high above South America as it travels to the stars?

Archbishop Fred Hiltz has not issued a denial.



Climate Change

It started out like any other day in Texas, with freezing fog and snow falling heavily from the sky. Like Donetsk, or Kharkov, or something.

Blue Exuberance liked that and had fun romping about in the snow. I took him for a walk and he tried to attack a mail truck. He hates mail trucks.

Then the Climate Changed and it became warmer. But I'm confused; I thought it was colder because it was warmer, thanks to all the CO2 in the atmosphere and not enough carbon taxation. So if it's warmer, then it must be colder, right?

So how come the snow's melting? 


Tuesday, February 24, 2015

All Hail Clint Eastwood

Some crew of angry Muslims are demanding that Clint Eastwood apologize for American Sniper. Good luck with that.

In the meanwhile, our government is broadcasting this handy leaflet against Violent Extremism By Nobody In Particular.

Maybe they'll airdrop it on, you know, Dabiq.


The Cause, Confederacy

It's not that long ago, the American Civil War, and a bloody business it was too. Some people think that the Confederacy is synonymous with with slavery and oppression, whereas the Union was was a beautiful civil rights movement. Others think that the war was about States' rights and freedom from big government Washington tyranny.

They opted for the latter where I live, and lost. There's a memorial in the Courthouse Square to remember the fallen.

William Henry Parsons raised a regiment of cavalry from the surrounding counties, the 12th Texas, comprised of the Hill County Volunteers, the Freestone Boys, the Johnson County Slashers, the Bastrop Cavalry Company, the Ellis Grays, the Ellis Rangers, the Kaufman Guards, the Ellis Blues, the Williamson Bowies, and the Eutaw Blues.

The 12th Texas went on to become part of Parson's Brigade and it may, or may not be the case that the National Flag of the Confederacy is on display in the courthouse.

For the record, I think our courthouse, which was restored by Willie Nelson, would make for a decent club. "What would you call this club?" asked a church lady, "I would call it Parson's, Ma'am," I replied.

Share your Swag Bags as you will,


Monday, February 23, 2015

Millionaire Socialist

Millionaire socialist, Patricia Arquette, made an impassioned plea at last night's Oscars for "wage equality" for women, and called on "gays" and "people of color" to help with that.

"It's our time to have wage equality," said Aquette to the star-studded audience. To even things up, losers at the Oscars were given swag bags worth $168,000, which included a $20,000 astrology reading and multiple vacations.

A Pile of Cash

Patricia Arquette is an expert on wage inequality, which is why her net worth is only $24 million. 

I Want More Money!!

Rumors that the femsoc Hollywood star has a leading role in the upcoming movie, Canting Limo-Lib Socialist Millionaire, are just that, rumors.

All aboard the private jet,


Thunder Sleet

I thought Thunder Sleet was just a Scandinavian death metal band, but now I know better. It's a vicious weather front, and it moved into this small country town sometime last night. 

Blue Shredder

No one is outside and the only sound that breaks the eerie silence our once thriving farming community is the sound of crazed peacocks, far-off sirens and sleet, washing down on abandoned Dodge pickups.

Good idea, LSP, shoot the sleet.

Here at the Compound we're cleaning guns, loading magazines and roasting joints of meat. I'll drive to the trading post later, for news, barter and supplies.

Ammunition is our currency.


Saturday, February 21, 2015

Adrift on Denial

By now now everyone's read Graeme Wood's ISIS analysis in the Atlantic, which perversely states, and in no uncertain terms, that the Islamic State is in fact Islamic. Peggy Noonan has this to say:

"In sorry contrast, of course, are the Obama administration’s willful delusions and dodges. They reached their height this week when State Department spokesman Marie Harf talked on MSNBC of the 'root causes' that drive jihadists, such as 'lack of opportunity for jobs.' She later went on CNN to explain: 'Where there’s a lack of governance, you’ve had young men attracted to this terrorist cause where there aren’t other opportunities. . . . So how do you get at that root causes?' She admitted her view 'might be too nuanced of an argument for some.'

"Yes, it might.

"It isn’t about getting a job. They have a job: waging jihad.

"The president famously cannot even name the ISIS threat forthrightly, and that is a criticism not of semantics but of his thinking."

Well said, Ms. Noonan. You can read read her commentary here, entitled An Administration Adrift on Denial. In the meanwhile, apocalyptic Muslim savages are waging a genocidal war against Christians, and anyone else who disagrees with the Caliphate, in the Middle East. 

So far the West does nothing, apart from appealing for tolerance towards the same people that are beheading, crucifying, enslaving and torturing men, women and children in the name of Allah. 

We will be judged for our inaction.

That's enough ISIS for now. Back to guns, space creatures, the Church of England and the New World order next. Maybe horses, too.



Yet More Dhimmwittedness

“Here in America, Islam has been woven into the fabric of our country since its founding,” said President Obama to the Summit on Countering Violent Extremism By Nobody In Particular.

How true this is! Many of the Pilgrim Fathers were Muslim, poor, unemployed Muslims, who fled England in search of new opportunities and a Caliphate in the New World.

George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, John Quincy Adams, all Muslims. How galling it must have been for Cornwallis to surrender to the Janissaries of the Continental Army!

No wonder, then, that the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution and the Bill of Rights are Islamic documents, establishing Sharia in the North American Ummah. Think of any one of our institutions, movements of thought and the individuals behind them, and you will find Islam, woven warp and weft into the fabric of our great nation. Since its very founding! (that's enough, we get the point -- ed.)

The first Mosque was built in America in 1915, by the way, and I'm off to the range for some personal jihad.

Don't be a dhimmwit,


Friday, February 20, 2015

March of the Dhimmwits

Do you remember Marie Harf, the State Department's nuanced PR spin? She thinks that Countering Violent Extremism By Nobody In Particular is all about giving terrorists jobs. Not to be outdone, here's Senator John Kerry:

“Why do people make what to many of us would seem to be an utterly wrongheaded choice and become the kind of terrorists that we’re seeing? It’s a question that we need to approach with humility, but also with determination, because you cannot defeat what you don’t understand.” […]

“In some cases, they may come from a lost job or from the contrast between one family’s empty dinner plate and a fancy restaurant’s lavish menu. The poison might even come from within, in the form of rebellion against anonymity, the desire to belong to a group, people who want a moment of visibility and identity, or the hunger for black-and-white answers to problems that are very complex in a remarkably more complicated world.”

Here at Team LSP, we want to help the Administration Counter Violent Extremism By Nobody In Particular, so we're posting this helpful State Department job application form. We'll resist the temptation to echo Kerry's words, you cannot defeat what you don't understand.

No, Kerry, you don't. It's called Islam and it's been waging war against the world for 14 centuries.

But that can't be true, because the Muslims that are busy beheading, crucifying, enslaving and raping people after the example of their Prophet, obviously aren't Muslims.

No. They're jobseekers.


The RAF Scrambles!

Great Britain's two remaining fighter aircraft bravely intercepted a Russian bomber over the English Channel.

Now down to two operational fighters, the once proud RAF scrambled its two jets to escort a Cold War era Tu-95 bomber, code named the Bear, out of U.K. airspace.

U.K. Prime Minister, David Cameron, dismissed the show of force, saying  that the Russians "are trying to make some sort of a point, and I don't think we should dignify it with too much of a response."

Dignified or not, it seems unlikely that Great Britain's two-plane airforce could mount much more than a token defense of the British Isles. 

Rumors that the Island Realm's last Main Battle Tank has run out of replacement parts and is no longer operational, have been denied by the Ministry of Defense.