Showing posts with label Anglican Church of Canada (ACoC). Show all posts
Showing posts with label Anglican Church of Canada (ACoC). Show all posts

Monday, July 15, 2019

Oh Look, it's ACoC!

Just when you thought ACoC (Anglican Church of Canada) had vanished forever into the icy void of deep space than she reappears, boldly "crossing the rainbow."

Keen-eyed xenologists will note ACoC's new top bishop figure, Linda Nicholls, at the back of the tiny church's procession. 

Take Me To Your Leader

Whether the small and getting smaller off-world denomination will attempt to establish a base on earth or return to the vacuum remains to be seen.

Ad Astra,


Thursday, July 14, 2016

Anglican Church of Canada's Theology Found on Mars!

Star gazing boffins at NASA believe they may have unlocked the mystery of the Anglican Church of Canada's (ACoC) missing theology, on Mars!


Hi-resolution images from NASA's Reconaissance Orbiter show the missing theology in a depressed area of the barren Red Planet, possibly the impact site of a meteor or asteroid. Resembling Morse Code, ACoC's theology consists of a series of dots and dashes which have been decoded by planetary scientist, Veronica Bray, to read:

Decoding The Theology


Others aren't convinced. "It's not really theology," stated one Xenologist, "It's more like a random series of dunes created by the swirling wind of ACoC's General Synod."


Has the Anglican Church of Canada's theology finally been found and if so, what does it say? Or is the so-called "theology" nothing more than sand, blown by the fierce Martian wind?

Ad Astra,


Monday, August 3, 2015

Is This the Church of England?

Look, I'm not saying that this plucky little purple plush unicorn is for sure the Church of England, it might be the Diocese of Southwark, or the Bishop of Gloucester. Perhaps it's the diminutive ACoC (Anglican Church of Canada), or even the cash rich but numbers starved Episcopal Church itself. Maybe it's the Anglican Communion Office. Who knows.

You, the reader, be the judge.


Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Is the Anglican Church of Canada Just a Kite?

A mysterious object captured on film may be nothing more than a purple kite, instead of the Anglican Church of Canada (ACoC).

Many observers were shocked to see a strange purple object hovering in the air over a building site in Lima, Peru, and believed they may have spotted ACoC. But others have been quick to dismiss the "UFO" sighting as a kite, instead of the small denomination.

"The object is too far out to see strings," stated one analyst, "so if there are strings we don't have the pixel resolution to make them out. However, we see at each end a darker patch which is likely where the kite fabric is doubling over where the strings attach.[...] Lastly, I'm not certain which direction, west or east, the camera is facing - but I get the feeling it's likely pointing toward the ocean where the beach is. Where there is a beach there is wind and kites."

Where there is a beach there is wind and kites. Could the Anglican Church of Canada be a purple kite, blown by the wind over a beach in Peru, or is it a gaily colored spaceship, flying high above South America as it travels to the stars?

Archbishop Fred Hiltz has not issued a denial.



Friday, November 7, 2014

Anglican Church of Canada, Run by Dead Space Alien?

Recent evidence suggests that the Anglican Church of Canada (ACoC) isn't controlled by human beings but by the spirit of a dead alien space creature.


Proof emerged in Gosford, where Archdeacon Rod Bower is campaigning for radical Islam and the subjugation of women.


Good call, Rod, and it's all fun and games until you wake up and find ISIS has chopped your buddy's head off.

Please, Canadians, put the brakes on the spaceship. And thanks, Samizdat.


Monday, June 2, 2014

So Where is the Anglican Church of Canada?

Where is the Anglican Church of Canada (ACoC)? With notable exceptions, such as the excellent Mad Padre, no one seems to know. But thanks to Anglican Samizdat, our news hounds have learned that Nobel Peace Prize winner, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, popularly known as "Ole Rascal", has visited Alberta's oil sands.

Ole Rascal

Ole Rascal called the oil patch "filth", while remaining silent about the source of the jet fuel which was burned to transport him from South Africa to Canada's economic powerhouse:

“The fact that this filth is being created now, when the link between carbon emissions and global warming is so obvious, reflects negligence and greed,” stated the Anglican Archbishop to an enraptured audience.

Operation Overlord

Our ruler, President Obama, is also a Nobel Peace Prize winner and a believer  in raising taxes and crony capitalism in global warming.

Make of that what you will and stay tuned for Equinox in Austin or, thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.


Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Oh Canada!

Don't get me wrong, I love Texas. But sometimes I get the urge to travel into the icy vastness of Canada, which is what I did on the Feast of the Holy Innocents. 

Stephen Ave - Alright By Me
I like Calgary; you can walk about downtown, go to restaurants, shops and relax under the bison head at the Hyatt bar. I always think it's a cross between England and the U.S., except of course that it's an oil and gas boomtown.

But whatever, you can also visit Pro Line Shooters in Inglewood. It's a small gun shop on 9th Ave in Inglewood, not too far from the center of town and distinguished for its barbershop. This means that you can get your hair cut and then buy a gun. Back in the day the barber was a communist called Doug and we got on well, despite divergent politics. He was a great character but died a year or so ago, may he rest in peace. They sell Sigs there, which the owner told me he didn't much like. We swapped stories of Browning Hi Powers and the force of large caliber battle rifles. He was very against the 5.56 and thought it was introduced to suit the small stature of our one time South Vietnamese friends. That was new to me.

What's that huge new NSDAP structure in the background?
Speaking of Inglewood, St. John's church, which left the bizarrely tiny ACoC (Anglican Church of Canada) to join the Roman Catholic Church, has been allowed to keep its buildings. 

If I was a betting man, which I'm not, I wouldn't have wagered my fighting monkey on the odds of that. Well done ACoC for doing the right thing. Then, all too soon, it was back to Texas and the mission field.

Fighting Monkey
Good city, Calgary. Visit if you can and say a prayer for St. John's, Inglewood. Well done them for keeping their buildings and avoiding a lawsuit.



Saturday, July 23, 2011

Bishop, Alien, Monkey?

Villagers in China have made a shocking discovery, a strange creature that could be one of the long lost Bishops of ACoC. (Anglican Church of Canada) 

Mrs. Mao Xiping thought it was a harmless rabbit until she noticed that the creature had an 'alien face'. Her neighbours agreed it was like nothing they had ever seen before and thought it acted 'a lot like Bishop Ingham, gobbling up everything in sight.'

Space Aliens
After devouring cucumbers, peaches and local churches, the creature was caged in a washing basket and taken to police, who arrested it.

'It has a voracious appetite,' said Mrs. Mao, who remains convinced that she caught ACoC's litigious Bishop of New Westminster.

But experts aren't convinced. 'It could be a Canadian Bishop, or an alien, or a monkey,' said one scientist, 'It's hard to tell.'

When last seen, the tiny ACoC was heading into the icy vastness of deep space.

Archbishop Fred Hiltz was unavailable for comment.


Monday, May 9, 2011

The Sign of the Bull

You might think that the above picture was some run of the mill, third-world hellhole. But no, it's just South Dallas; I used to get 'steak and potato' at the Charco Broiler under the fiberglass bull. It cost around $6 a decade ago and still does, so that's reassuring. If you adjust your body armour and walk down the road a bit you get to 'Senor Ramone's', where they cut your hair.

LSP: "Look at all that grey!"
Barber: "No, no! It is blond!"
LSP: "Ah yes, so it is. Keep the change."

I like Ramone's well enough but wouldn't recommend the Broiler.

In other news, it seems as though Pope Benedict's offer of an 'Ordinariate' for trad Anglicans in Canada has been  "put on hold". Following the departure of their parent body, ACoC, into the icy vastness of deep space, earthbound Canadians set up the ACCC (Anglican Catholic Church of Canada). This voted to join B16's larger vessel last year but so far nothing's happened. Maybe now it won't - whose fault will it be if it doesn't?

To be fair to the Vatican, the 'A Triple C' wasn't as unanimous about the project as their vote seemed to indicate... Whatever the case, you can watch this painfully slow moving story unfold at Virtueonline.



Monday, February 28, 2011

Alien Head, or ACoC?

Nasa's rover "Spirit" has sent back images from Mars where something that looks very much like the Anglican Church of Canada (ACoC) is shown.

Nasa scientists dismissed the image as a rock, however, but church analysts are not convinced.

"Their eyes are about 5cm apart, with a small sharp chin, just what you'd expect from the tiny church" said one expert.

UFOlogists dispute this, arguing that the small Mars object is a fossilized alien head instead of the tiny, lost, off-world denomination.

You be the judge.


Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Horsing About

small herd of mares

Had an interesting ride the other day, not least because JB's horse mind was a little distracted by the loud attention of several stallions. She hears them calling her, you see, and answers back with a mind to galloping off to wherever they are - which isn't where we are. This can be disconcerting, but you know what they say, stay on the horse. Not always easy, I can tell you.

Finished off with a .22 plink about before the sun began to set; neat to see the mares silhouetted, like some kind of Western, which, in a way, it was.

where's that stallion?

On a different note, a Calgary parish has opted to become Roman Catholic, thus making the Anglican Church of Canada (ACoC) even smaller than it already is. More on that later.