Five Ways To Spot A Reptilian Shapeshifter

Xenologists believe off-world reptilian aliens are hiding in plain sight here on earth, where they take the form of human beings. Fortunately, there are five main ways to spot a reptilian shapeshifter.

1. Eyes. Does the "person" have reptile eyes, with pupils like vertical slits? If they do, chances are you've spotted a lizard person.

2. Skin. While reptilians go to great lengths to conceal their true appearance, sometimes their disguise slips, revealing scales. A clear sign that this isn't a human being but a lizard shapeshifter.

3. Flickering. Reptilians use advanced holographic space technology to project a human image over their real bodies. However, due to fluctuating power sources and light conditions, the image can flicker, exposing the apparent person as a reptilian.

4. Soul. Reptilians attempt to mimic human emotions such as love and empathy but this is an act, covering up a grey, soulless interior. Look out for artificiality, a sense that something's not quite "right." If that's the case, there's a high possibility you've discovered a reptile alien.

5. Instinct. Trust your intuition. According to more experienced lizard-spotters, if you feel like the person has an alien presence, they might well be a reptilian.

Lambeth Palace declined to comment.

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Is Justin Welby The Mekon?

Startling photo-analysis reveals that the top decisionmaker in the Anglican Communion, Archbishop Justin Welby, is the Mekon. 

The Mekon

"The Archbishop of Canterbury's large, hairless, oval domehead, narrow chin and slit mouth are sure giveaways," stated one Xenologist, "And he sits on a throne, like the Mekon. He can never lose."

Justin Welby

The Mekon was created by scientific experimentation, and engineered for a very high intelligence. As such he has a swollen head containing his massive brain and atrophied body. His goal is the domination of the Anglican Communion by the Episcopal Church.

Artist's Impression of an Anglican Primate

The Archbishop of Canterbury has announced plans for a Primates Meeting in 2017. Will the primates obey their off-world ruler?

Lambeth Palace declined to comment,

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Anglican Church of Canada's Theology Found on Mars!

Star gazing boffins at NASA believe they may have unlocked the mystery of the Anglican Church of Canada's (ACoC) missing theology, on Mars!

Mars

Hi-resolution images from NASA's Reconaissance Orbiter show the missing theology in a depressed area of the barren Red Planet, possibly the impact site of a meteor or asteroid. Resembling Morse Code, ACoC's theology consists of a series of dots and dashes which have been decoded by planetary scientist, Veronica Bray, to read:

Decoding The Theology

NEE NED ZB 6TNN DEIBEDH SIEFI EBEEE SSIEI 

ESEE SEEE !!

Others aren't convinced. "It's not really theology," stated one Xenologist, "It's more like a random series of dunes created by the swirling wind of ACoC's General Synod."

Off-World

Has the Anglican Church of Canada's theology finally been found and if so, what does it say? Or is the so-called "theology" nothing more than sand, blown by the fierce Martian wind?

Ad Astra,

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