Five Ways To Spot A Reptilian Shapeshifter

Xenologists believe off-world reptilian aliens are hiding in plain sight here on earth, where they take the form of human beings. Fortunately, there are five main ways to spot a reptilian shapeshifter.

1. Eyes. Does the "person" have reptile eyes, with pupils like vertical slits? If they do, chances are you've spotted a lizard person.

2. Skin. While reptilians go to great lengths to conceal their true appearance, sometimes their disguise slips, revealing scales. A clear sign that this isn't a human being but a lizard shapeshifter.

3. Flickering. Reptilians use advanced holographic space technology to project a human image over their real bodies. However, due to fluctuating power sources and light conditions, the image can flicker, exposing the apparent person as a reptilian.

4. Soul. Reptilians attempt to mimic human emotions such as love and empathy but this is an act, covering up a grey, soulless interior. Look out for artificiality, a sense that something's not quite "right." If that's the case, there's a high possibility you've discovered a reptile alien.

5. Instinct. Trust your intuition. According to more experienced lizard-spotters, if you feel like the person has an alien presence, they might well be a reptilian.

Lambeth Palace declined to comment.

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Starchild Space Alien?

Ground-breaking scientific research has revealed that a mysterious skull, discovered in a Mexican tunnel, may not be human.

After extensive DNA testing, the outsize cranium, popularly known as "Starchild", was shown to have different mtDNA than normal humans, with a much larger number of nucleotides than a usual person.

This has lead some experts to speculate that the Starchild is a space alien, “foreign to normal human genetics within the framework of that subject as it is currently understood... definitely not from planet Earth."

ACoC Bishop

Others disagree. "The Starchild isn't a space alien, it's a hybrid," said one source, "It's probably just the swollen skull of an ACoC bishop. Part human, part something else."

Human, hybrid or alien, Starchild remains a mystery. ACoC continues its journey into the far reaches of the stellar void.

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