Is the Anglican Church of Canada Just a Kite?

A mysterious object captured on film may be nothing more than a purple kite, instead of the Anglican Church of Canada (ACoC).

Many observers were shocked to see a strange purple object hovering in the air over a building site in Lima, Peru, and believed they may have spotted ACoC. But others have been quick to dismiss the "UFO" sighting as a kite, instead of the small denomination.

"The object is too far out to see strings," stated one analyst, "so if there are strings we don't have the pixel resolution to make them out. However, we see at each end a darker patch which is likely where the kite fabric is doubling over where the strings attach.[...] Lastly, I'm not certain which direction, west or east, the camera is facing - but I get the feeling it's likely pointing toward the ocean where the beach is. Where there is a beach there is wind and kites."

Where there is a beach there is wind and kites. Could the Anglican Church of Canada be a purple kite, blown by the wind over a beach in Peru, or is it a gaily colored spaceship, flying high above South America as it travels to the stars?

Archbishop Fred Hiltz has not issued a denial.

LSP

 

Anglican Church of Canada Attacks China!

ACoC

Readers may not remember ACoC (Anglican Church of Canada), the dismally small Anglican denomination that left earth for the icy void of deep space. 

But gone isn't necessarily forgotten, as large chunks of the little church rain down from space on unsuspecting Chinese villagers in Jiangxi Province.

Astronaut

"We thought it was an earthquake but it was just a broken old bit of the Anglican Church of Canada," said one visibly relieved villager.

Fortunately the ACoC debris fell harmlessly onto farmland, causing no injuries or damage to property. Next time the world may not be so lucky.

We have been warned,

LSP

I Want it. I Want it All.

Archdeacon Barry "I want it all" Foster

It seems that the diminutive ACoC (Anglican Chrurch of Canada) is set to become smaller still, with a Calgary parish, St. John the Evangelist, joining the Roman Catholic Church under Pope Benedict's offer of an 'Ordinariate' for ex-Anglicans.

This would allow Anglican converts, including married clergy, to retain elements of their liturgy and have a guaranteed place within the Roman Church.

It's an attractive proposition for the parishioners of St. John's, who voted by 90% to leave the incredibly shrinking ACoC and they hope to keep their Edwardian building. According to the Rector's Warden, Richard Harding, this might be possible because title deeds to the building are held in the name of the Wardens instead of the Diocese of Calgary.

"The title was placed in the name of the elected lay wardens of the parish... It is parish property. The diocese may not be aware of that," stated Harding to the Calgary Herald.

But Barry 'I want it all' Foster, Archdeacon of Calgary, who styles himself 'Executive Officer' of the diocese when not selling menswear at a downtown mall, has a different opinion.

"It's not the case that … they take the property with them. It's not theirs," stated Foster to CBC News.

Assuming, for the moment, that Calgary's clerical haberdasher has a point, what will the Diocese of Calgary do with yet another empty building?

You know the saying, "Sell! Sell! Sell!"

Watch this space - in the meanwhile ACoC continues its trajectory into just that.

Say a prayer for St. John's.

LSP

Church, Horse, Gun

You'll have to forgive the lack of posts, but life has been hectic with various deadlines and the work of looking after several missions - to say nothing of keeping track of the ever diminishing ACoC and its somewhat larger sister, TEC.

Still, I've managed to increase the amount of time spent in the saddle, which is important. How can you expect to train up a horse if you don't ride it? With that objective well in mind, I'm pleased with the result; JB is certainly forward and fast, whereas she wasn't before. Still, a word of warning. Keep your heels down, LSP, it's no fun coming off at 45 mph...

There's been time for shooting too, mostly plinking about but some dove hunting before the season ended. One bird was extremely large and tasty. I told a parishioner about it.

"It was like an eagle, parishioner."
"Oh, you shot a pigeon."
"No, parishioner. It was a dove, the size of a mighty Condor!"

Protests to the contrary, the harm had been done. Must work out some way to redeem the reputation; perhaps against coyotes.


On the religious front, some of you may be aware that the trad Diocese of Fort Worth and its Bishop, Jack Iker, are the victims of multiple lawsuits brought on by Schori's TEC and its potemkin diocese in North Texas. If you go to TEC's diocesan website, you'll find the litigation they've initiated under an interesting title. "Holy Stewardship," they call it. Nothing quite like redefining words to suit your purpose.

God bless our veterans.

LSP

Unholy Communion

Dog

The little ACoC (Anglican Church of Canada) is at it again. Desperate to bolster dramatically reduced numbers, Ontario clergyperson, Rev. Marguerite Rea, gave 'communion' to an Alsatian dog at St. Peters, Toronto. After a gentle reprimand from her bishop, Rea stated that her actions were "a simple way of reaching out."

ACoC

In the meanwhile, the strangely shrinking ACoC continues on its trajectory out of earth orbit, with the tacit approval of its richer southern cousin, TEC (The Episcopal Church) and its leaderene, Jefferts Schori.

Schori

All rumours to the contrary, TEC, ACoC and the COE (Church of England) are not about to implode into something resembling a black hole in the icy depths of space.

To the stars!

LSP

Ridiculously False Statement

Mark Steyn & Pamela Geller

Tom, of Boomers fame, sent me this quote from Mark Steyn:

"Most mainline Protestant churches are, to one degree or another, post-Christian. If they no longer seem disposed to converting the unbelieving to Christ, they can at least convert them to the boggiest of soft-left clichés, on the grounds that if Jesus were alive today he’d most likely be a gay Anglican bishop in a committed relationship driving around in an environmentally friendly car with an “Arms are for Hugging” sticker on the way to an interfaith dialogue with a Wiccan and a couple of Wahhabi imams."

There is absolutely no truth, whatsoever, in Mr. Steyn's absurd analysis of Ms. Jefferts Schori's thriving Episcopal Church and its tiny cousin, the ACoC (Anglican Church of Canada).

Cheers,

LSP

Space Junk

Broken Down Space Junk ACoC?

According to the Sun newspaper, a British stargazer has taken an amazing video of a UFO crossing the face of the sun Anglican Communion.

"Malcolm Park was taking a series of photos of the huge star through a specially filtered telescope when a strange object began to drift across it.

Malcolm, of South West London, said: 'I was recording activity on the sun when I caught this strange encounter. It looks like an irregularly-shaped lump of rock and is clearly rotating very quickly.

'I wondered if what I captured was a piece of space junk or, with the way it was tumbling, a small asteroid the Anglican Church of Canada (ACoC).'

Malcolm said he had ruled out the possibility of a plane or a bird because of the strange shape and absence of any wings."

Due to its unpredictable course, experts wonder if the tiny but erratic ACoC will fall into the Sun and explode, or hurtle into deep space.

Head Astronaut +Michael Ingham

ACoC's scientific expert, The Rt. Rev. Michael Ingham of the Diocese of New Westminster, was unavailable for comment.

LSP