CIA Goes For UFOs

 

According to the UK's Daily Mail a top secret CIA office (Office Of Global Access or OGA) has been collecting crashed UFO debris since 2003 and even took possession of two intact craft.

Unnamed sources told the Mail:

There's at least nine vehicles. There were different circumstances for different ones, it has to do with the physical condition they're in. If it crashes, there's a lot of damage done. Others, two of them, are completely intact.

 

Wow, but we have to ask, if extraterrestrials are so technologically advanced that they were able to cross the icy void of interstellar space to visit earth, why would they crash, much less allow the CIA to get hold of their tech. It seems unlikely, which hints at a coverup, an inside job if you will.

Here at the Compound, we believe USGOV along with its secret police and espionage agencies have been infiltrated and possibly controlled by Off World interests for many years. Much like, if you pause to reflect, the Church of England (COE), the Anglican Church of Canada (ACoC) and the tellingly named TEC (The Episcopal Church).

So of course the OGA took possession of downed space alien craft, they're on the same team. Terrifying, isn't it. And perhaps you think this is some kind of weird conspiracy theory, think again.

Ad Astra,

LSP

Some Worldwide Anglican Non-Communion News

 

So what's going on in the Worldwide Anglican Non-Communion? Good question. The venerable and catastrophically shrinking Church of England is all about getting rid of CO2, which is a gas, carbon dioxide. Here's the Net Zero Bishop of Norwich, the COE's Lead Bishop on the Environment:

The Prime Minister said we can meet our climate targets without taking the carbon reduction actions the Government had previously announced. We can’t. Decarbonisation must permeate every aspect of our lives.

 

No more carbon for you, Church of Englanders, time to stop breathing. You'll be interested, punters, to know COE attendance is at a risible 600k per Sunday in 2021, down from over a million in 2009. All out of a population of what, over 60 million? Huh, you do the math. Then there's ACoC, the Anglican Church of Canada, which is totally gay. 

you risible old fraud

Check out Samizdat:

In advance of Ottawa’s Pride March on August 27th, Shane Parker, the bishop of Ottawa urged us all to read his letter “Global Interfaith Commission on LGBT+ Lives”. The heading for the letter is: “Declaring the Sanctity of Life and the Dignity of All”.

Not quite all as it turns out. The handwringing is reserved for 2SLGBTQI+ people because “all sexual orientations, gender identities and gender expressions are a precious part of creation and are part of the natural order.”

 

Sanctity of life for all, except the unborn, obvs, which ACoC wants to kill. But not to worry, there's a new bishop figure in Peterborough. Look how lovely it is:

eyes left

I say, Colonel, what an attractive wife! Just kidding, Indian Army forever and good luck Peterborough.

Your Old Pal,

LSP

The Lord's Prayer

It was bound to happen and now it has. The venerable if shrinking Church of England's second in command, Archbishop of York Stephen Cottrell told General Synod that the Lord's Prayer was "problematic." 

Why would that be? According to Cottrell, it's because some people have had difficult relationships with their fathers and others again "have laboured rather too much from an oppressively patriarchal grip on life."

Space Aliens

There you have it. Jesus got it wrong, he condoned abusive, oppressive patriarchal imagery and, per Cottrell, it's about time we changed all that. But if Christ got it wrong, what kind of God is he? Not much of one if at all and that's just it, these people don't believe in the God they pretend to worship.

You old frauds

Same thing, come to think of it, on wimmyn priests. Not ordaining them was unjust and evil. Jesus didn't ordain them... I leave you, the reader, to complete the unholy syllogism.

Ave Atque Vale,

LSP

God's Pronouns

 

I always thought they were He/His. Oh well, now we know. And here's some social media back up from the inclusively shrinking ACOC (Anglican Church of Canada).

The excellent Anglican Samizdat exclaims, "Antediluvian throwbacks like me who have always thought of the Holy Spirit as 'He' had no idea that the third person of the Trinity had undergone a gender transition." Yes indeed, but will there be a special baptismal rite for the pneumatic sex-change? Perhaps in England.

In related news, have you noticed how the aggressive chevrons on the LGTBQ++ flag are eating up the original rainbow? Like some kind of... takeover.

In the meanwhile, the same people who gaily fly this flag are championing all out war with ORCFORCE. Vicious rumors that trans refugees attempting to flee the Ukraine have been turned around and sent to Ost Front are entirely that, vicious rumors.

Over the Rainbow,

LSP

Church of England Captured on Film

There it is. You step out on the back porch for some coffee and "quiet time" and what do you get? Yes, the Church of England.

There she was, climbing up my window,  a ferocious predator. I had to ask, is this the whole denomination or just its leader?

Lambeth Palace declined to comment. In the meanwhile, rumours of Mantis People, Mantids, taking over the venerable CoE are just that, rumours.

Quatermass,

LSP

Abductee Says Do Not Contact Evil Aliens

Alien abductee Daryl Sims has issued a dire warning to humanity in an explosive online interview, do not contact aliens because they are malevolent and evil con artists: 

"When people have a positive contact experience, that means you have accepted the program. Some people have died as a result of attempting alien contact while others have been injured. 

  They Come to Help!

"You will experience a feeling of awe and that the aliens are here to help the planet and all these wonderful things – none of which they have ever done."

Sims continued, stating that abductees have been kidnapped by space aliens and regret the experience, they "don't like what happens":

Off-World

"On the other hand, there is another group called alien abductees, who feel they have been kidnapped or taken without their will. These people often remember parts of the event, sometimes all of it and they don’t like what happens."

 A Typical Grey

Spokespersons for the Episcopal Church, Anglican Church of Canada, the Church of England and Pope Francis declined to comment.

Here at the Compound we urge extreme caution when interacting with extraterrestrials.

Ad Astra,

LSP

Unholy Communion

Dog

The little ACoC (Anglican Church of Canada) is at it again. Desperate to bolster dramatically reduced numbers, Ontario clergyperson, Rev. Marguerite Rea, gave 'communion' to an Alsatian dog at St. Peters, Toronto. After a gentle reprimand from her bishop, Rea stated that her actions were "a simple way of reaching out."

ACoC

In the meanwhile, the strangely shrinking ACoC continues on its trajectory out of earth orbit, with the tacit approval of its richer southern cousin, TEC (The Episcopal Church) and its leaderene, Jefferts Schori.

Schori

All rumours to the contrary, TEC, ACoC and the COE (Church of England) are not about to implode into something resembling a black hole in the icy depths of space.

To the stars!

LSP

Fruits of the Spirit

Church of England Bishops

They say that the miter worn by Bishops represents the 'tongues of fire' that rested on the heads of the Apostles at Pentecost.

Make of that what you will.

Have a blessed Pentecost!

LSP