Abductee Says Do Not Contact Evil Aliens

Alien abductee Daryl Sims has issued a dire warning to humanity in an explosive online interview, do not contact aliens because they are malevolent and evil con artists: 

"When people have a positive contact experience, that means you have accepted the program. Some people have died as a result of attempting alien contact while others have been injured. 

  They Come to Help!

"You will experience a feeling of awe and that the aliens are here to help the planet and all these wonderful things – none of which they have ever done."

Sims continued, stating that abductees have been kidnapped by space aliens and regret the experience, they "don't like what happens":

Off-World

"On the other hand, there is another group called alien abductees, who feel they have been kidnapped or taken without their will. These people often remember parts of the event, sometimes all of it and they don’t like what happens."

 A Typical Grey

Spokespersons for the Episcopal Church, Anglican Church of Canada, the Church of England and Pope Francis declined to comment.

Here at the Compound we urge extreme caution when interacting with extraterrestrials.

Ad Astra,

LSP

Anglican Church Goes Full Green

The leader of the Anglican Communion, Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby has launched a bold new initiative to unite the world's third largest denomination against a common enemy, the Weather.

Called the "Season of Creation," Welby's green campaign has solicited "Letters of Creation" from the Communion's leading bishops, asking them to describe the catastrophic effects of global warming and climate change.

Welby has called the battle to stop the weather changing "essential to the life of faith" and an "ethical crisis."

The ethical crisis of climate change is an opportunity to find purpose and joy, and to respond to our Creator’s charge. Reducing the causes of climate change is essential to the life of faith. It is a way to love our neighbour and to steward the gift of creation.

Not to be outdone, Grace Cathedral, San Francisco, held a special green worship ritual featuring people on stilts dressed as trees and shirtless liturgical dancers.

The leader of the Episcopal Church, Presiding Bishop, Michael Curry is vocal in his support of Welby's green crusade.

“We can maintain a vigorous and effective commitment, and empower Anglicans everywhere to undertake bold action to mitigate and reverse climate change," stated Curry.

Whether the bold action called for by Curry, Welby and the Ents of San Francisco will be enough to stop the Weather from changing remains to be seen.

Viriditas,

LSP

Whats Up With WANC? The Worldwide Anglican Non Communion

Reeling from the Holy See's decision to turn all Roman Catholic churches, cathedrals, monasteries, convents and chapels into mosques, we turn to the venerable Worldwide Anglican Non Communion (WANC). What's WANC been up to? Quite a lot.

WANC's leader, Archbishop Justin "Chinos" Welby has been meeting with Egypt's Grand Imam. Good work, Justsin, Archbishop of Canterdhimmi. Conservative Anglicans, represented by the Global Anglican Future's Conference (GAFCON), haven't been slow either.

Jerusalem

GAFCON III was held in Jeruslalem this summer, the largest international meeting of Anglicans of its kind in decades. And more power to it, GAFCON stands against the clownish cultural marxism of mainstream, first world Anglicanism. Stand by the revealed Word of God, thunders GAFCON, and here at the Compound we agree. 

Why then does GAFCON allow its various provinces to ordain women as priests? Good question, surely not because of First World bribes and CMS fostered disbelief in sacramental priesthood. Regardless, good luck to this evangelical protest against gay marriage rituals.

A Typical Austin Tranny

Speaking of which, the Episcopal Church met in Austin, predictably, for its triennial General Convention. On the agenda? Should we make our Prayer Book Even More Gay and should every Episcopalian be able to get a Gay Wedding Ritual (Resolution B012). The former failed, the latter passed to rapturous applause.

Up until this summer, dioceses in the Episcopal Church were able to decide whether or not they'd be gay, it was up to the bishop. If the bishop felt gay the whole diocese went gay, if not, not so much.

Crazed

But this has changed. Thanks to GC79, it's up to the local priest figure to decide if the church will go gay and do a same sex marriage ceremony. Sorry, straight bishops, all 8 you, your diocese has to go gay even if you don't like it.

Demented

Leaving aside the rainbow riding idiocracy of it all, we have to wonder if Apostolic Order means anything in the Episcopal Church. Stupid question, of course not, all means ALL in Presiding Bishop Figure Michael Curry's Jesus Movement, unless of course you're a Christian. 

Inside The Cockpit

Good luck, Bishop Dan Martins et al, you'll need it.

Covenant Communion Partners Forever,

LSP