Random Thoughts From The War on Weather

 

Here we are, fighting the War Against The Weather, again, as our new ketchup fortune Climate Czar unironically flies around the world in his private jet, urging you, the peasant, to pay more tax. But speaking of war, thank Gaia the Military has to get down with trans diversity training, again, because that'll help us win wars. Yes, make us more secure.

Well they're not wrong, imagine the scene as a CCP human wave launches over the top only to be met with a camo variant of RuPaul's Drag Race, which is entirely normal, haters. Seriously, the enemy'll die laughing. A good, if eccentric, tactic.

Old But Gold

Back to the War on Weather. We've reopened another front and there'll be no more drilling on Federal lands, no more Keystone pipeline, but yes to more Warren Buffet profits (he owns the rails that ship the oil to the tune of several $ billion a year), and guess what? It's all cool coz we'll beat the weather and racist Orange Man Bad!

Or to put it another way, hide your asset-stripping plundering behind a smokescreen of green chicanery and Cultural Marxist identity politics and hey presto! Make billions of dollars, impoverish the peasants and live large on your yacht because hey, men can use women's toilets. Justice Awards all 'round.

Clearly a Blue Ice Extremist

What risible, evil, canting, self-serving, satanic hypocrisy. Maybe it's time for the return of Blue Ice.

Your Old Pal,

LSP

Anglican Church Goes Full Green

The leader of the Anglican Communion, Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby has launched a bold new initiative to unite the world's third largest denomination against a common enemy, the Weather.

Called the "Season of Creation," Welby's green campaign has solicited "Letters of Creation" from the Communion's leading bishops, asking them to describe the catastrophic effects of global warming and climate change.

Welby has called the battle to stop the weather changing "essential to the life of faith" and an "ethical crisis."

The ethical crisis of climate change is an opportunity to find purpose and joy, and to respond to our Creator’s charge. Reducing the causes of climate change is essential to the life of faith. It is a way to love our neighbour and to steward the gift of creation.

Not to be outdone, Grace Cathedral, San Francisco, held a special green worship ritual featuring people on stilts dressed as trees and shirtless liturgical dancers.

The leader of the Episcopal Church, Presiding Bishop, Michael Curry is vocal in his support of Welby's green crusade.

“We can maintain a vigorous and effective commitment, and empower Anglicans everywhere to undertake bold action to mitigate and reverse climate change," stated Curry.

Whether the bold action called for by Curry, Welby and the Ents of San Francisco will be enough to stop the Weather from changing remains to be seen.

Viriditas,

LSP