Happy Orthodox Easter!

 

Wishing a happy Easter to all our Orthodox brothers and sisters. Well done, unlike the Worldwide Anglican Non Communion (WANC) and the Marxist Climate Controller in the Vatican, you've resisted the urge to go rainbow gay. 

God will bless you for it and one day, perhaps, when the West returns to sanity, we can restart true ecumenism and the Church will speak again with one voice. In the meanwhile:

Χριστὸς ἀνέστη, and we know how this ends:

Bless you all,

LSP

Flotsam And Jetsam

Jetsam, noun, unwanted material or goods that have been thrown overboard from a ship and washed ashore, especially material that has been discarded to lighten the vessel.

Flotsam and jetsam, floating wreckage and unwanted goods thrown off the vessel of modern life. There's a lot of it about, in no particular order:

Harvard, Satan's Vatican

Madonna, Queen of Pop

Justsin Welby, titular head of WANC (Worldwide Anglican Non-Communion)

The sheer genius of Yoko

And liturgical dance, which is so very loved by all

Don't get me wrong, this isn't an exhaustive list, just a snapshot. Feel free to chime in.

Cheers,

LSP

Whats Up With WANC? The Worldwide Anglican Non Communion

Reeling from the Holy See's decision to turn all Roman Catholic churches, cathedrals, monasteries, convents and chapels into mosques, we turn to the venerable Worldwide Anglican Non Communion (WANC). What's WANC been up to? Quite a lot.

WANC's leader, Archbishop Justin "Chinos" Welby has been meeting with Egypt's Grand Imam. Good work, Justsin, Archbishop of Canterdhimmi. Conservative Anglicans, represented by the Global Anglican Future's Conference (GAFCON), haven't been slow either.

Jerusalem

GAFCON III was held in Jeruslalem this summer, the largest international meeting of Anglicans of its kind in decades. And more power to it, GAFCON stands against the clownish cultural marxism of mainstream, first world Anglicanism. Stand by the revealed Word of God, thunders GAFCON, and here at the Compound we agree. 

Why then does GAFCON allow its various provinces to ordain women as priests? Good question, surely not because of First World bribes and CMS fostered disbelief in sacramental priesthood. Regardless, good luck to this evangelical protest against gay marriage rituals.

A Typical Austin Tranny

Speaking of which, the Episcopal Church met in Austin, predictably, for its triennial General Convention. On the agenda? Should we make our Prayer Book Even More Gay and should every Episcopalian be able to get a Gay Wedding Ritual (Resolution B012). The former failed, the latter passed to rapturous applause.

Up until this summer, dioceses in the Episcopal Church were able to decide whether or not they'd be gay, it was up to the bishop. If the bishop felt gay the whole diocese went gay, if not, not so much.

Crazed

But this has changed. Thanks to GC79, it's up to the local priest figure to decide if the church will go gay and do a same sex marriage ceremony. Sorry, straight bishops, all 8 you, your diocese has to go gay even if you don't like it.

Demented

Leaving aside the rainbow riding idiocracy of it all, we have to wonder if Apostolic Order means anything in the Episcopal Church. Stupid question, of course not, all means ALL in Presiding Bishop Figure Michael Curry's Jesus Movement, unless of course you're a Christian. 

Inside The Cockpit

Good luck, Bishop Dan Martins et al, you'll need it.

Covenant Communion Partners Forever,

LSP

The Face Of The Anglican Communion

Thanks to Climate Change, it was cool and springlike this morning, a mere 23* and then BOOM, there it was, the Anglican Communion, parked outside of a Pick 'n Steal in asset stripped rural Texas.

No Driver

No one was driving this car, the driver's seat was empty, but the vehicle had a passenger. You could see it, grinning.

Look, I'm not saying the Worldwide Anglican Non Communion is a driverless yellow car carting about a crew of clowns to the nearest Pick 'n Steal, that's your call.

Turtle

After taking photos of the Anglican Communion, I went fishing. It was a bit slow, 6 catfish (one BIG), 1 large Bluegill, a bait Perch that nearly caught a Gar and a turtle. 

Little Fella

All went back to fight again another day.

God bless,

LSP

Government Insider Reveals Anglican Warp Technology!

Ex-Pentagon expert, Alan Delgarde, has made astonishing claims about the technology which keeps the Worldwide Anglican Non Communion (WANC) in the air.

According to Delgarde, WANC is still flying because of "energy" and the "ability to warp space-time" and a single, mysterious technology.

"We believe it has to do with a high amount of energy and the ability to warp space-time, not by a lot, but by a little. We do believe all these observables we've been seeing, sudden and extreme acceleration, hypersonic velocities, low observability, trans medium travel, and last but not least, positive lift, anti-gravity – is really the manifestation of a single technology," said Delgarde in an interview with Compound News.

Others aren't convinced: “Are UFOs chasing our jet fighters, as recent secret documents suggest?" opined space boffin, self-described Michio Kaku, “Maybe they are experimental hypersonic drones. Or maybe aliens from outer space? I keep an open mind.”

So what is the Worldwide Anglican Communion, a spacetime warping, anti-gravity vessel from another dimension or just another hypersonic drone?

You be the judge,

LSP

Archbishop Of Canterbury In Black Friday Mall Brawl

Reports are coming in from around the country that the leader of the cash-strapped Church of England, Archbishop Justin Welby, has been Black Friday mall brawling for cheap deals in a desperate attempt to fix the finances of the Anglican Communion.

Following Thanksgiving, Black Friday discounts drive shoppers into a frenzy as they compete for door buster deals, and Archbishop Justsin was no exception, fighting for bargains with thousands of other hungry shoppers.

Police broke up mall brawls in numerous locations, including Alabama, Detroit and Jersey City.  Always one to mind the bottom line, Archbishop Justsin has reportedly installed 52" flatscreens in Lambeth Palace and stocked his drawers with cut-price cotton twill Chinos.

What this means for the present day Worldwide Anglican Non Communion (WANC) is presently unclear.

Quo Vadis,

LSP

No Creed in Brisbane!

"Jeremy" Greaves

It seems that the fun never sets in the zany world of the Worldwide Anglican Non Communion (WANC), and the Primate of Australia, Archbishop Phillip Aspinall, has added to the hilarity by appointing Archdeacon Jeremy Greaves Assistant Bishop of Brisbane.

A Tired Old Crook, Archbishop Asspinall

Jeremy's a big supporter of gay marriage, go figure, and isn't too keen on the Creed either. Here he is, as reported by David Ould, in an interview with ABC Radio National:

Rachael Kohn: Do you specifically then have difficulties with the Apostles’ Creed that you might like to rewrite it or ditch it?

Jeremy Greaves: I’d be happy to abandon the Creed.

Greaves went on to say that abandoning traditional Christian terms and doctrine was problematic because it might offend congregations and have an impact on his salary.

“And for so many of us in ministry, we’re locked into a model where the people who sit in the pews pay our salaries, pay our way. I have a wife and three small children to support and so the challenge of being too prophetic and changing too many things too quickly is that there won’t be enough people left in the short term to help me survive financially, and that’s a brutal and very difficult challenge.”

Jeremy doesn't like the Creed, that's why he's a WANC bishop

Perhaps now that Greaves is a bishop, he won’t have to worry about that kind of financial shortfall, or the Creed. Whether any people remain in the pews of Brisbane remains to be seen.

Lambeth Palace declined to comment.

Your Old Pal,

LSP

Hey, Check Out These Clowns

Vicious rumors that Justin Welby, Archbishop of Canterbury and top decision maker in the Worldwide Anglican Non Communion (WANC), has been spotted in Detroit hustling for spare change are presently unconfirmed. But we do know this. The Episcopal Church's Diocese of Central New York has a new bishop figure!

Some Clowns, Goofing Off in Church

That's right, De De Duncan-Probe, Ph.D, was made Bishop of Central New York on December 3. No kidding. De De Duncan-Probe, Ph.D, is the first ever womyn bishop figure of the 13,000 member, and shrinking fast, diocese.

Hey, Good Lookin'!

Here's what De De Duncan-Probe, Ph.D, had to say about the state of the nation:

“I am overwhelmed with joy and gratitude today as I join the people of Central New York in ministry. Especially because I believe we have a crucial role to play right now. The Episcopal Church’s radical welcome, and our commitment to reconciling dialogue, make our communities a beacon of hope in an increasingly divided society.”

Or, roughly translated, "I'm a pathetic whining lib on the wrong side of history."

Just Clownin' Around

Sorry, De De Duncan-Probe, Ph.D, your crew lost and lost hard, but maybe your famous radical welcome will fill all those empty pews. 

Hustlin'.

Good luck, Diocese of Central New York.

Your Old Pal,

LSP

Anglican Communion Snatched by Evil Owl?

Startling game cam footage has revealed the Anglican Communion being snatched by an evil owl, proving that there are "consequences" for what's euphemistically referred to as "riding the rainbow."

Where the owl will take the Worldwide Anglican Non Communion (WANC) is uncertain. According to the game cam's owner, the photos provided "clarity." 

Riding The Rainbow

"Some people thought there weren't any, you know, consequences when it came to riding the rainbow," he said, "Others reckoned there were when it looked like there weren't. It was really confusing, then the owl came and took the whole Communion away. It gave some clarity to the narrativity crisis."

Owls

When questioned about the destination of the owl and its captured Communion, the hunter stated, "I don't know where it's going, no one does. Maybe not even the owl, it could be flying around for kicks, fixing to drop that Communion when it gets tired playing. They do that."

An Owl Attacks

Where the Worldwide Anglican Non Communion will land is uncertain, that it's been snatched up in the talons of an evil owl appears irrefutable.

Stay tuned as the story develops.

LSP

The Face of The Worldwide Anglican Non-Communion Found on Mars?

A mysterious monument on Mars may be evidence that the Worldwide Anglican Non-Communion (WANC), has gone "off-planet."

Startling images from Viking 1 revealed the shadowy likeness of a human face on Mars. An enormous head nearly two miles from end to end seemed to be staring back at the cameras from a region of the Red Planet called Cydonia.

However, more recent photos from the Mars Global Surveyor (MGS) and the Mars Orbital Camera (MOC) show what seems to be a broken down old hill. "It may look like a 'face' from a distance," said a member of the MGS team, "but when you get up close you can see it's just a free-standing eroded landform, like a butte or a mesa, like Middle Butte in Idaho. An apron of boulders around the base would make the climb difficult for a robot."

Others disagree. "Once adjusted for sun angle and natural erosion, the Viking photos show humanoid features, nose, eyes, mouth and nostrils," stated one expert, "The chances of that happening exceed a thousand billion billion to one (10^21 to 1). We are compelled to accept artificiality as the most reasonable explanation consistent with the a priori principle of scientific method."

Has science discovered the Face of WANC on Mars, or an eroded butte?

You, the reader, be the judge.

LSP