Diocese Of Dallas Feels The Love

Do you follow Anglican church news? No? Who can blame you, but we're here to tell you that 24 gay marriages were celebrated, blessed or recognized in the Episcopal Diocese of Dallas last month. So what? So a lot.

The Bishop of Dallas, George Sumner, is against gay marriage because he's a Christian but he allowed it anyway. Why? Because his gay denomination told him to, it's their law, passed at General Convention last year.

Gene Robinson and his Ex

Rather than go against his denomination's gay rules the Bishop of Dallas played along, declaring himself to be in "impaired communion" with the rainbow but in "full eucharistic fellowship with it." What does that even mean?

How are you in "impaired communion," Sumner and all the rest? You're still up for receiving the Sacrament of Holy Communion from these people, so how's your communion impaired? In the mind apparently, you don't like what they're doing. 

Who can blame you, but it doesn't say much for your understanding of the communion of the church. This, apparently, has been downgraded to an affair of like and dislike, of mere relationship instead of the organic unity of the Mystical Body of Christ caused and evidenced in the Sacrament of the Altar.

Regardless, here's the advice of this mind-blog. Do. Not. Give. An. Inch. Instead, take the fight to the enemy. After all, they're doing the same to you. Just look at Bishop Love. But look, Communion Partners, don't fear the reaper.

Your Friend,

LSP

Anglican Communion Snatched by Evil Owl?

Startling game cam footage has revealed the Anglican Communion being snatched by an evil owl, proving that there are "consequences" for what's euphemistically referred to as "riding the rainbow."

Where the owl will take the Worldwide Anglican Non Communion (WANC) is uncertain. According to the game cam's owner, the photos provided "clarity." 

Riding The Rainbow

"Some people thought there weren't any, you know, consequences when it came to riding the rainbow," he said, "Others reckoned there were when it looked like there weren't. It was really confusing, then the owl came and took the whole Communion away. It gave some clarity to the narrativity crisis."

Owls

When questioned about the destination of the owl and its captured Communion, the hunter stated, "I don't know where it's going, no one does. Maybe not even the owl, it could be flying around for kicks, fixing to drop that Communion when it gets tired playing. They do that."

An Owl Attacks

Where the Worldwide Anglican Non Communion will land is uncertain, that it's been snatched up in the talons of an evil owl appears irrefutable.

Stay tuned as the story develops.

LSP

Progressive Christianity Will Die

The general consensus amongst the 4 people who read this so-called "mind blog" is that its authors are incapable of serious thought. To make up for that deficiency, here's an excerpt from Fr. Longenecker's 12 step takedown of proglib Christianity:

Crazed

The real divide in Christianity is no longer Protestant and Catholic, but progressive and historic.

When I say “divide” I should say “battle” because both sides are locked in an interminable and unresolvable battle. Interminable because neither side will yield and unresolvable because the divisions extend the theological and philosophical roots of both aspects.

However, it is true to look at the dynamic of progressive Christianity and see that by the end of this century it will have either died out or ceased to be Christianity.

Demented

Longenecker, a former Anglican priest, goes on to make his 12 points and they're certainly pertinent to a form, or a subversion of Christianity that's dying out. But here at the Compound we'd like to add a 13th observation.

Shifty

Why would anyone go to a church that existed to reflect disbelief back on itself? Or, to put it another way, why bother attending a church when you can more comfortably read the New York Times or The Guardian instead? Same message, far less hassle.

Sad Gay

Well guess what, Longenecker's prophecy's being fulfilled and the proglib churches are dying out. You can read their dismal stats on the internet, if you care to find them.

God bless,

LSP

Farmer's Doorstop Turns Out to be Church of England Bishop!

In 2002 a Norfolk farmer was plowing his field in East Rudham, when he discovered a bent Church of England bishop in the soil. The farmer took the bent bishop back to his farmhouse, where he used the object as a doorstop for 12 years, until a friend suggested he had it checked, by experts.

Ecclesiastical experts identified the the bishop as a "ceremonial dirk," which had been bent prior to burial.

The farmer agreed to sell the bent old bishop to Norwich museum for the film rights to Love Free or Die, the former Bishop of New Hampshire's blockbuster movie.

The Rt. Rev. Gene Robinson is reportedly being used as a doorstop at the Center for American Progress, in Washington DC.

The identity of the bishop discovered in Norfolk is currently unknown.

LSP

Anglican Instruments of Communion hover over Manchester?

The famous "Anglican Instruments of Communion" may have been caught on camera, hovering mysteriously over Manchester.

The Instruments of Communion have been missing since the 2003 consecration of the most famous gay bishop the world has ever seen, Elton John look-a-like, Gene Robinson. However, a 35 year old photographer zoomed in on the Instruments after feeling a "magnetic pull."

Gene Robinson

"I just got up from the sofa and I felt this pull to take a picture out the window there and then. Something drew me to the window," stated Mr. Hinton, "It was like a magnetic pull - a lunar pull."

While some dismiss the strange sighting as a Chinook helicopter, the photographer disagrees, "I am a rational man. I have never felt that feeling before. With the feeling I had and what it looks like, I don't think it was a Chinook helicopter."

Dobby's Chinos

Hinton went on to describe what experts believe to be the Anglican Communion's missing Instruments of Unity, "I mean the photo shows the lights shining through the clouds. I really don't think it is a reflection - look at the saucer shaped object and the lights and the two lines coming out of the bottom. Just like the Instruments of Communion."

Instruments of Communion

According to witnesses, the hovering Instruments of Communion remained in the sky for half an hour before disappearing.

No sooner seen than gone, have the Anglican Instruments of Communion left Manchester  for earth orbit and ultimately deep space?

Or do they exist in another dimension altogether? 

LSP

Elton John Says Jesus Wants Gay Marriage

Legendary pop idol and Gene Robinson look-alike, Sir Elton John, has come out swinging against the Catholic Church, stating that Jesus would have been in favor of gay marriage if he was alive today.

Gene

In an interview this weekend with Sky News, the aging genius behind smash hits such as Rocket Man and Candle in the Wind, accused the church of being "old" and "stupid."

Elton

"These are old and stupid things," said the knighted pop superstar, referring to heterosexual marriage and clerical celibacy. Sir Elton went on to say that Jesus was a Christian person who would be in favor of homosexual priests marrying other men.

"If Jesus Christ was alive today," stated the legendary pianist, "I cannot see him, as the Christian person that he was and the great person that he was, saying this could not happen."

Elton?

Like his separated-at-birth identical twin, Bishop Gene Robinson, Sir John wasn't shy of giving theological advice, telling his listeners about the nature of Christ and his Church, stating, "He (Jesus) was all about love and compassion and forgiveness and trying to bring people together, and that is what the church should be about."

Gene?

Some believe that Elton John and Gene Robinson are the same person. In the words of one Doppelganger Industry expert, "have you seen them both at the same cocktail parties? No. I thought not."

Like his namesake, Bishop Gene Robinson, Elton John will be getting gay married, sometime this year.

Mind how you go 

LSP

Lift Up Your Hearts!

Joy!!

The news hasn't been good. The Religion of Peace is acting with characteristic savagery, the Administration stonewalls, lies and bullies, ammo's too expensive or unavailable altogether and we're being smitten by a plague of tornadoes. Oh, I almost forgot! Mainstream Anglicanism in the West has become a sort transsexual pantomime.

Really?

So here's a version of the Lord's Prayer to lift the spirits and get everyone closer to the goddess.

Our mother who art in earth 

hallowed be thy creation 

shekinah come 

indwell wisdom 

within this mortal person 

you give us this day 

our daily cup 

attend our deepest wounds 

for we are called to birth life anew 

tempt us with your beauty 

to pursue your desire 

and deliver us from all slavery 

present this hour 

for thine is the drink of passion 

that nursed a manger baby 

great found of mystery 

spring 

now and forever, amen.

Toothsome...

Pretty neat, eh? Here's some more. It's a form of intercession to be used at a women's Eucharist. 

"Sophia Wisdom: Our world community today, broken, unhealed and full of suffering, cries out for women's voices and leadership. We need women priests...to witness daily for nonviolence in a world gone mad with the power of weapons and guns and greed. 

Getting rid of the guns and greed

We need women priests...to put their bodies on the line and witness to the Powers that Be to stop bloodshed. We need women priests...to name our government's squandering of the people's money. We need women priests...to call our government, church, and all institutions to transparency, conversion, and accountability. 

Wall Street Trembles

We need women priests...to speak up to the government and voice the basic needs of the grassroots -- which have gone unmet for so long. We need women priests...to preach the Good News to the poor, the oppressed and exploited, and to empower them mightily. 

Afflicting the Rich

We need women priests...to boldly proclaim the Gospel so that it afflicts the rich and comfortable -- who need shaking up. We need women priests...to name the injustices-which are many-that take us away from the fullness of our humanity. 

We Demand Respect!

We need women priests...to demand respect for our Earth and her life-giving waters. We need women priests...to restore us and our lives to wholeness/holiness-and to recreate us as community."

You Clowns

What a gang of clowns.

LSP

Episcopal Church Transtastic!

All means All

The Episcopal Church is declining at a rapid rate, but perhaps their new slogan "All Means All!" will reverse this disturbing trend.

You be the judge.

LSP

Pentecost

On the first Feast of Pentecost the Holy Spirit, who is the personification of the love between the Father and the Son, came down upon the Apostles, filling them with the fire of love. This same fire is given to the successors of the Apostles, the Bishops, whose miters signify the the pentecostal flame. 

Well, there's bishops.

everyone's budde

"p"?

boy bishop

And there's bishops.

Here's the invocation of the Holy Spirit. The Church needs that right about now and doubtless always.

Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful and kindle in them the fire of your love. Send forth your Spirit and they shall be created. And You shall renew the face of the earth.

O, God, who by the light of the Holy Spirit, did instruct the hearts of the faithful, grant that by the same Holy Spirit we may be truly wise and ever enjoy His consolations, Through Christ Our Lord, Amen.

Every blessing for Pentecost,


LSP