Progressive Christianity Will Die

The general consensus amongst the 4 people who read this so-called "mind blog" is that its authors are incapable of serious thought. To make up for that deficiency, here's an excerpt from Fr. Longenecker's 12 step takedown of proglib Christianity:

Crazed

The real divide in Christianity is no longer Protestant and Catholic, but progressive and historic.

When I say “divide” I should say “battle” because both sides are locked in an interminable and unresolvable battle. Interminable because neither side will yield and unresolvable because the divisions extend the theological and philosophical roots of both aspects.

However, it is true to look at the dynamic of progressive Christianity and see that by the end of this century it will have either died out or ceased to be Christianity.

Demented

Longenecker, a former Anglican priest, goes on to make his 12 points and they're certainly pertinent to a form, or a subversion of Christianity that's dying out. But here at the Compound we'd like to add a 13th observation.

Shifty

Why would anyone go to a church that existed to reflect disbelief back on itself? Or, to put it another way, why bother attending a church when you can more comfortably read the New York Times or The Guardian instead? Same message, far less hassle.

Sad Gay

Well guess what, Longenecker's prophecy's being fulfilled and the proglib churches are dying out. You can read their dismal stats on the internet, if you care to find them.

God bless,

LSP

Anglican Church of Canada Declines, Members Sing and Dance!

Faced with over 50 years of continuous decline, graying membership, a second quarter deficit of 900,000 "loonies" and a mere 320,000 pewsitters per Sunday, dioceses and parishes across the Anglican Church of Canada (ACoC) are being forced to take drastic measures.

Justice Camp. That'll pack 'em in!

The Diocese of Toronto is advertising Justice Camp, where the people sing. Here's an excerpt, to the tune of My Favorite Things, apparently:

Meeting with Linda, with movers & shakers,
Activists, greenies, and health-and peace-makers,
MP’s and editors, right on the ball,
Help us respond to our fai-aithful call.
Postcards and letters and online petitions,
Rallies and sit-ins with local musicians,
Scripture reminds us to take care of all-
Working for justice can be such a ball!

Refrain 

When our greed strikes,
When our fears roar,
When we’re feeling proud,
We simply remember our fai-aithful call -
And then we can speak out loud!

Catchy, isn't it.

Some churches have turned to liturgical dance in a desperate bid to feel good, despite all those empty pews.

note the disgruntled 'subdeacon'...

And the circle just gets wider, unless you're a trad, in which case the Diocese of Huron evicts you and puts concrete blocks in front of your church so no one can get in.

Well done ACoC. Now no one gets to go to St. Hildas's. 

ACoC looks set to continue on its current trajectory away from earth and into the stellar void of deep space.

Thanks, Samizdat, for the stats and pics.

God bless.

LSP

Anglican Church of Canada Hurtles into Space!

ACoC H/T BBCW

The Hubble Telescope has captured striking new images of a remarkable object in the night sky - the diminutive Anglican Church of Canada (ACoC) hurtling into deep space.

ACoC's tiny 140 meter nucleus is unusual for being "off center" and unlike larger, more powerful ecclesial bodies, this one has "no gas in its tail", say sources studying the phenomenon.

A top scientist at NASA Goddard Space Flight Center, believes the object is debris left over from a collision with the normative teaching authority of the Church, stating, "The collision likely occurred at over 15,000 kilometres per hour, five times the speed of a rifle bullet, and liberated energy in excess of a nuclear bomb."

Since 2000, ACoC has shrunk from a little over 650,000 attendees in 2000 to around 325,000 in 2010, a loss of over 20,000 people annually. Pundits predict that no-one will be left by mid-century if ACoC continues on its current trajectory between Mars and Juppiter.

Astronaut

ACoC was spotted 90 million miles away from earth.

Archbishop Hiltz was unavailable for comment.

To the Stars!

LSP