Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Anglican Church of Canada Hurtles into Space!

The Hubble Telescope has captured striking new images of a remarkable object in the night sky - the diminutive Anglican Church of Canada (ACoC) hurtling into deep space.

ACoC's tiny 140 meter nucleus is unusual for being "off center" and unlike larger, more powerful ecclesial bodies, this one has "no gas in its tail", say sources studying the phenomenon.

A top scientist at NASA Goddard Space Flight Center, believes the object is debris left over from a collision with the normative teaching authority of the Church, stating, "The collision likely occurred at over 15,000 kilometres per hour, five times the speed of a rifle bullet, and liberated energy in excess of a nuclear bomb."

Since 2000, ACoC has shrunk from a little over 650,000 attendees in 2000 to around 325,000 in 2010, a loss of over 20,000 people annually. Pundits predict that no-one will be left by mid-century if ACoC continues on its current trajectory between Mars and Juppiter.

ACoC was spotted 90 million miles away from earth.

Archbishop Hiltz was unavailable for comment.

To the Stars!



The Fact Compiler said...

Shurely "To infinity and beyond!".

In best Terrence and Phillip voices:

Phillip: "Hey is anyone listening to us?"

Terrence: "Hello, hello."

Phillip: "ACoC to earth. Hello."

Terrence: "Phillip, I'm convinced that something very, very not good is happening to Canada"

LSP said...

Fact Compiler, Terence and Phillip are entirely appropriate.

Sadly, the ACoC left earth some time ago...

Barking Spider said...

Terence and Phillip have loads of gas in their tails, LSP. ;-)

Anonymous said...

The irony is that the churches in Canada have largely all signed up to ridiculous PC initiatives that govern preaching. While I have some very liberal opinions I respect and welcome the thoughts and input of theological conservatives: debate can only be good as truth will out.

Canada shows if you stifle debate you end up with neutered churches that are moribund.

That could never happen in the US or UK. Could it?

LSP said...

That is a very good point, Spider.

Grumpy Cleric, I like your openness and, well, moribund? Such a thing could never, ever happen in the US & UK.


I enjoyed looking over your blog
God bless you

LSP said...

Thanks Old Geezer - I appreciate that.

Every blessing.

tom said...

Nicely put.

LSP said...

Thanks Tom - The thing about ACoC is that it's a target rich environment...