Archbishop Welby And The Eye Of Satan

 

Look, A Grinning Fool

The Archbishop of Canterbury, Justsin Welby. Hey, he's just a grinning fool who somehow crept into the Travelers Club. But is he really the harmless Etonian neo-lib evangelical he pretends to be? Some say otherwise. Have a look, let's zoom in:

See what I'm sayn'?

LSP

Happy Orthodox Easter!

 

Wishing a happy Easter to all our Orthodox brothers and sisters. Well done, unlike the Worldwide Anglican Non Communion (WANC) and the Marxist Climate Controller in the Vatican, you've resisted the urge to go rainbow gay. 

God will bless you for it and one day, perhaps, when the West returns to sanity, we can restart true ecumenism and the Church will speak again with one voice. In the meanwhile:

Χριστὸς ἀνέστη, and we know how this ends:

Bless you all,

LSP

And They're Back! Stand Firm

No, not the legendary space rock outfit Hawkwind, but Stand Firm in Faith. Good work, kids, back better and more compelling than ever before.

Well done, Team, more is more.

Space is Deep,

LSP

Whats Up With WANC? The Worldwide Anglican Non Communion

Reeling from the Holy See's decision to turn all Roman Catholic churches, cathedrals, monasteries, convents and chapels into mosques, we turn to the venerable Worldwide Anglican Non Communion (WANC). What's WANC been up to? Quite a lot.

WANC's leader, Archbishop Justin "Chinos" Welby has been meeting with Egypt's Grand Imam. Good work, Justsin, Archbishop of Canterdhimmi. Conservative Anglicans, represented by the Global Anglican Future's Conference (GAFCON), haven't been slow either.

Jerusalem

GAFCON III was held in Jeruslalem this summer, the largest international meeting of Anglicans of its kind in decades. And more power to it, GAFCON stands against the clownish cultural marxism of mainstream, first world Anglicanism. Stand by the revealed Word of God, thunders GAFCON, and here at the Compound we agree. 

Why then does GAFCON allow its various provinces to ordain women as priests? Good question, surely not because of First World bribes and CMS fostered disbelief in sacramental priesthood. Regardless, good luck to this evangelical protest against gay marriage rituals.

A Typical Austin Tranny

Speaking of which, the Episcopal Church met in Austin, predictably, for its triennial General Convention. On the agenda? Should we make our Prayer Book Even More Gay and should every Episcopalian be able to get a Gay Wedding Ritual (Resolution B012). The former failed, the latter passed to rapturous applause.

Up until this summer, dioceses in the Episcopal Church were able to decide whether or not they'd be gay, it was up to the bishop. If the bishop felt gay the whole diocese went gay, if not, not so much.

Crazed

But this has changed. Thanks to GC79, it's up to the local priest figure to decide if the church will go gay and do a same sex marriage ceremony. Sorry, straight bishops, all 8 you, your diocese has to go gay even if you don't like it.

Demented

Leaving aside the rainbow riding idiocracy of it all, we have to wonder if Apostolic Order means anything in the Episcopal Church. Stupid question, of course not, all means ALL in Presiding Bishop Figure Michael Curry's Jesus Movement, unless of course you're a Christian. 

Inside The Cockpit

Good luck, Bishop Dan Martins et al, you'll need it.

Covenant Communion Partners Forever,

LSP

The Face Of The Anglican Communion

Thanks to Climate Change, it was cool and springlike this morning, a mere 23* and then BOOM, there it was, the Anglican Communion, parked outside of a Pick 'n Steal in asset stripped rural Texas.

No Driver

No one was driving this car, the driver's seat was empty, but the vehicle had a passenger. You could see it, grinning.

Look, I'm not saying the Worldwide Anglican Non Communion is a driverless yellow car carting about a crew of clowns to the nearest Pick 'n Steal, that's your call.

Turtle

After taking photos of the Anglican Communion, I went fishing. It was a bit slow, 6 catfish (one BIG), 1 large Bluegill, a bait Perch that nearly caught a Gar and a turtle. 

Little Fella

All went back to fight again another day.

God bless,

LSP

Welby's Fish Rig

Reactions to the recent Royal Wedding have been mixed. Here at the Compound we liked the pomp and pageantry, questioned Michael Curry's role as comedy minstrel revival preacher and came to a juddering stop at the sight of Welby's vestments.

Back of the Fish Rig

Archbishop Justin Welby tipped up at the wedding in his famous Fish Rig, a golden cope and mitre emblazoned with pastel green fish appliques. One of the very few people who read this mind blog was moved to comment:

Welby in Full Rig

I watched a bit of the goings on and was struck by the fact that Welby's vestments seemed to have been designed by an aged, new-age, lesbian hippie in between her bouts of polishing crystals and smoking weed; all of which was to be expected from His Alien-ness.

Does that sound harsh? Here's a close up of Welby's Rig, to help you decide.

Back of the Rig

What's best about Justsin's Fish Rig? The pale green fish appliques, commonly known as the "Anglican Dolphins'? The how very nautical silver ropes surrounding the fish or the firelike fronds of aquatic weed within which the three dolphins chase each other? 

You be the judge,

LSP

Government Insider Reveals Anglican Warp Technology!

Ex-Pentagon expert, Alan Delgarde, has made astonishing claims about the technology which keeps the Worldwide Anglican Non Communion (WANC) in the air.

According to Delgarde, WANC is still flying because of "energy" and the "ability to warp space-time" and a single, mysterious technology.

"We believe it has to do with a high amount of energy and the ability to warp space-time, not by a lot, but by a little. We do believe all these observables we've been seeing, sudden and extreme acceleration, hypersonic velocities, low observability, trans medium travel, and last but not least, positive lift, anti-gravity – is really the manifestation of a single technology," said Delgarde in an interview with Compound News.

Others aren't convinced: “Are UFOs chasing our jet fighters, as recent secret documents suggest?" opined space boffin, self-described Michio Kaku, “Maybe they are experimental hypersonic drones. Or maybe aliens from outer space? I keep an open mind.”

So what is the Worldwide Anglican Communion, a spacetime warping, anti-gravity vessel from another dimension or just another hypersonic drone?

You be the judge,

LSP

Dark Matter Holding Anglican Communion Together Captured by Boffins

Stargazing boffins at the University of Waterloo, Canada, have captured an image of the mysterious "dark matter" that holds the Anglican Communion together.

Using a technique known as gravitational lensing, which detects unseen mass, the Canadian astrophysicists were able to create a picture of the dark matter bridge that holds the Anglican Communion together.

Before the groundbreaking discovery, astronomers were baffled by the Anglican Communion's continued existence because visible matter wasn't strong enough to keep the Church together. This led to speculation that an unseen force was at work, acting as a scaffold to to bond the Communion.

Dark matter is an invisible element said to make up around 84 per cent of the Anglican Communion. It's known as "dark" because it doesn't shine, absorb or reflect light, which has traditionally made it largely undetectable, except through gravity and gravitational lensing.

Whether dark matter will continue to hold the Anglican Communion together and prevent its various Churches from spinning off at random into the icy void of deep space remains to be seen.

Ad Astra,

LSP

No Creed in Brisbane!

"Jeremy" Greaves

It seems that the fun never sets in the zany world of the Worldwide Anglican Non Communion (WANC), and the Primate of Australia, Archbishop Phillip Aspinall, has added to the hilarity by appointing Archdeacon Jeremy Greaves Assistant Bishop of Brisbane.

A Tired Old Crook, Archbishop Asspinall

Jeremy's a big supporter of gay marriage, go figure, and isn't too keen on the Creed either. Here he is, as reported by David Ould, in an interview with ABC Radio National:

Rachael Kohn: Do you specifically then have difficulties with the Apostles’ Creed that you might like to rewrite it or ditch it?

Jeremy Greaves: I’d be happy to abandon the Creed.

Greaves went on to say that abandoning traditional Christian terms and doctrine was problematic because it might offend congregations and have an impact on his salary.

“And for so many of us in ministry, we’re locked into a model where the people who sit in the pews pay our salaries, pay our way. I have a wife and three small children to support and so the challenge of being too prophetic and changing too many things too quickly is that there won’t be enough people left in the short term to help me survive financially, and that’s a brutal and very difficult challenge.”

Jeremy doesn't like the Creed, that's why he's a WANC bishop

Perhaps now that Greaves is a bishop, he won’t have to worry about that kind of financial shortfall, or the Creed. Whether any people remain in the pews of Brisbane remains to be seen.

Lambeth Palace declined to comment.

Your Old Pal,

LSP

Hey, Check Out These Clowns

Vicious rumors that Justin Welby, Archbishop of Canterbury and top decision maker in the Worldwide Anglican Non Communion (WANC), has been spotted in Detroit hustling for spare change are presently unconfirmed. But we do know this. The Episcopal Church's Diocese of Central New York has a new bishop figure!

Some Clowns, Goofing Off in Church

That's right, De De Duncan-Probe, Ph.D, was made Bishop of Central New York on December 3. No kidding. De De Duncan-Probe, Ph.D, is the first ever womyn bishop figure of the 13,000 member, and shrinking fast, diocese.

Hey, Good Lookin'!

Here's what De De Duncan-Probe, Ph.D, had to say about the state of the nation:

“I am overwhelmed with joy and gratitude today as I join the people of Central New York in ministry. Especially because I believe we have a crucial role to play right now. The Episcopal Church’s radical welcome, and our commitment to reconciling dialogue, make our communities a beacon of hope in an increasingly divided society.”

Or, roughly translated, "I'm a pathetic whining lib on the wrong side of history."

Just Clownin' Around

Sorry, De De Duncan-Probe, Ph.D, your crew lost and lost hard, but maybe your famous radical welcome will fill all those empty pews. 

Hustlin'.

Good luck, Diocese of Central New York.

Your Old Pal,

LSP

Tight Lines

Sure, you can sit around in slack-jawed amazement at the state of the Worldwide Anglican Non Communion (WANC), or you can get out and fish. I chose the latter option and RV'd with GWB, somewhere in Texas.

The Bass were biting in a small way and before too long I had a couple on the hook and reeled in; so did GWB. Then the the action was on. A monster of the deep took GWB's lure; tap, hookset, and out played the drag. 

Nice Fish, GWB

Big fun and a big fish. Good result. That Bass tournament was won by GWB. But then the sun was setting, the wind died down and the water smoothed out into a golden glassy stillness. Time for topwater.

Twitch that Torpedo and in fairness, a Bass exploded on my lure like a senior womyn clergyperson angling for a pointed hat. It was a close run thing, but the fish got away. Then it was time to get on the road and head back to the Compound.

And that was that, a good time was had by all.

Your Friend,

LSP

Anglican Communion Snatched by Evil Owl?

Startling game cam footage has revealed the Anglican Communion being snatched by an evil owl, proving that there are "consequences" for what's euphemistically referred to as "riding the rainbow."

Where the owl will take the Worldwide Anglican Non Communion (WANC) is uncertain. According to the game cam's owner, the photos provided "clarity." 

Riding The Rainbow

"Some people thought there weren't any, you know, consequences when it came to riding the rainbow," he said, "Others reckoned there were when it looked like there weren't. It was really confusing, then the owl came and took the whole Communion away. It gave some clarity to the narrativity crisis."

Owls

When questioned about the destination of the owl and its captured Communion, the hunter stated, "I don't know where it's going, no one does. Maybe not even the owl, it could be flying around for kicks, fixing to drop that Communion when it gets tired playing. They do that."

An Owl Attacks

Where the Worldwide Anglican Non Communion will land is uncertain, that it's been snatched up in the talons of an evil owl appears irrefutable.

Stay tuned as the story develops.

LSP