Archbishop Of Canterbury In Black Friday Mall Brawl

Reports are coming in from around the country that the leader of the cash-strapped Church of England, Archbishop Justin Welby, has been Black Friday mall brawling for cheap deals in a desperate attempt to fix the finances of the Anglican Communion.

Following Thanksgiving, Black Friday discounts drive shoppers into a frenzy as they compete for door buster deals, and Archbishop Justsin was no exception, fighting for bargains with thousands of other hungry shoppers.

Police broke up mall brawls in numerous locations, including Alabama, Detroit and Jersey City.  Always one to mind the bottom line, Archbishop Justsin has reportedly installed 52" flatscreens in Lambeth Palace and stocked his drawers with cut-price cotton twill Chinos.

What this means for the present day Worldwide Anglican Non Communion (WANC) is presently unclear.

Quo Vadis,

LSP

Archbishop of Canterbury in Easter Bunny Mall Brawl

That bunny packs a punch!

The Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, was attempting to raise money for the cash-strapped Church of England, by dressing up as the Easter Bunny at a New Jersey Mall. But things started to go wrong when a young girl slipped off the Pontif's lap.

The girl's father became irate and started to brawl with the Archbishop, at which point Welby took off his furry rabbit mask and charged at the angry dad, swinging punches.

Both the Archbishop and the enraged father were escorted out of the shopping center by mall security and taken to a medical clinic for treatment.

Whether Welby was under the influence of the dangerous new synthetic drug, "ACC", has yet to be determined.

High on "ACC"?

Carry on,

LSP

Archbishop of Canterbury in Black Friday Mall Brawl

Shocking photos reveal the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, scrapping with Black Friday shoppers at a Michigan mall.

The maul brawl erupted after Welby tried to wrestle a discounted flat screen T.V. out of the hands of a single Mother. "I waited all night to get my Vizio," said Toya Laquanda, "Then Welby come in and try and take it!"

Onlookers were outraged by Welby's attempted T.V. grab,  and one angry shopper faced off against the leader of the worldwide Anglican Communion, in what soon became a full-on slugfest. 

The fight ended when mall security was called, but not before a bruised and battered Welby disappeared into the Black Friday crowd of bargain hunters.

Lambeth Palace has not commented on the incident.

LSP