Friday, November 27, 2015

Archbishop of Canterbury in Black Friday Mall Brawl

Shocking photos reveal the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, scrapping with Black Friday shoppers at a Michigan mall.

The maul brawl erupted after Welby tried to wrestle a discounted flat screen T.V. out of the hands of a single Mother. "I waited all night to get my Vizio," said Toya Laquanda, "Then Welby come in and try and take it!"

Onlookers were outraged by Welby's attempted T.V. grab,  and one angry shopper faced off against the leader of the worldwide Anglican Communion, in what soon became a full-on slugfest. 

The fight ended when mall security was called, but not before a bruised and battered Welby disappeared into the Black Friday crowd of bargain hunters.

Lambeth Palace has not commented on the incident.



LL said...

I'm sure that the Archbishop was only trying to claim it for one of his flock. There is a spiritual reason for everything he does because he's so pious.

LSP said...

CofE budgets are tight and Welby was out to save a few bucks, but that didn't turn out so well. He probably ended up offloading stuff at the pawns on 8 Mile.

LL said...

That being the case, I'm sure that he bought goods with his C of E credit card (for the poor) and then pawned them for cash.

LSP said...

I think that was the plan, until he realized the card was maxed out.