Saturday, November 28, 2015

Another Day in The War on Weather



It's another typically cold, rainy day in Texas, and smart citizens are staying inside by the fire, cleaning guns, loading magazines and turning Thanksgiving leftovers into pies. 

It was hot here, once, but that was before El Nino broke loose and started his current reign of weather extremism. 

El Nino

Thank the "higher power" that our Commander-in-Chief takes the War on Weather seriously. He's taking some time off from watching reruns of the Danish Girl and Transparency to meet with world leaders in Paris next week, where they'll work on a strategy to defeat The Weather. 

Must. Raise. More. Money. To Beat The Weather

It'll be a veritable War Cabinet against the enemy that threatens us all with destruction. And maybe our War Leaders will manage to tax the Weather into submission, which will make the atmosphere colder, which will turn Texas hot again.

We live and hope.

LSP

6 comments:

LL said...

How can you control the weather without levying a tax on us to pay for that?

Adrienne said...

I'm surprised they haven't set a place at the table for Pope Francis. In Nairobi he (supposedly) said:

Francis insisted on access to a basic sewage system, rubbish collection, electricity as well as schools, hospitals and sport facilities during a visit to the Kangemi slum on Nairobi’s northwestern edge.(Catholic Herald UK)

I wonder where he thinks all that electricity is going to come from. Perhaps we can ship our broken and unused wind turbines over to Nairobi.

LSP said...

Wars don't come cheap, LL.

LSP said...

Good recycling point, Adrienne.

Mattexian said...

I see the War on Weather has you in such distress, that you're flying our national flag inverted. I hope we can remedy that soon!

LSP said...

I blame that on El Nino. What an extremist.