Showing posts with label The War on Weather. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The War on Weather. Show all posts

Saturday, January 11, 2020

Wake Of The Flood



Everyone's asking, did this pastoral Texan haven survive last night's sound and fury, did it survive the flood? Yes, by the grace of God it did. 

You could see the after effects of the storm this morning. Pecans and the broken debris of modern life lying in the gutter where they'd been swept by the floods. Want a weave or a styrofoam Whattaburger cup? Take your pick, there's plenty.



Regardless, POCs were scavenging the detritus as I walked Blue Eschaton to the Pick'n Steal. Good for them, big money in pecans. And that was that, we survived yet another raid by our Old Enemy, the Weather on the brave Republic of Texas.




I know, you're cautioning against false complacency. A battle won is not the same as a war won and that, all of you ten readers, is why we're prepared. 

Come and take it,

LSP

Monday, March 19, 2018

Rain Bomb!


The Masses were said, the Sacrifice offered and it seemed right to cook up some macaroni cheese in a heavy metal pot. I wasn't sure which was best, Thin Lizzy's version of Whiskey in the Jar or Metallica's but I did know that we needed milk and cheese. Then it happened.

Rain, gentle at first then crashing down like the wrath of God on the roof of the porch, and everywhere else. Yes, a rain bomb, blitzing from the sky with indiscriminate fury. I pulled on a wax jacket and ran to the rig.




A chinking thud. It was hail, the size of a large marble bouncing off the truck and before you could say shrapnel, the sky was full of hurtling chunks of ice and rain, torrential, wind-lashed, driving rain. There was only one choice; don't give up, keep moving, reach the objective, complete the mission.




Perseverance allied with sheer dogged determination paid off, and I left Brookshire's with milk and cheese safely in hand, noting that our Old Enemy, the Weather, had changed yet again. The rain and hail was gone, leaving a rainbow in its wake.  This parting shot from the opposition curiously snuck up behind First Baptist.




How First Baptist dealt with the multi-hued aggressor is another matter again but I'll tell you this, the heavy metal macaroni cheese was delicious and all the better for being a hard fought prize.

Don't fear the reaper,

LSP

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

ICE



Was it celestial outrage over the British Army's new ad campaign, heavenly anger at the MillSoc antics of Moby and Sean Penn or just our old enemy, the weather, getting back at Texas for failing to pay a tribute tax? Who knows but for whatever reason, ice began to fall from the sky last night.


Apocalypse

It started off as freezing rain, driven by icy blasts of bonesplitting wind that swept the porch as though it were the open bridge of a ship in a winter gale. Then the rain turned to ice, followed by tiny shards of snow. 

Sure, if this was Calgary everyone would be heaving a sigh of relief at the warmth of it all but this is Texas and -9+ is something to be conjured with, to say nothing of Sky Ice.


Eschaton

The day dawned to a scene of frozen stasis. Nothing moved except a man and a blue dog on their way to the Pick 'n Steal, which was miraculously open. Then it hit me, an epiphany or eureka moment. Go to Walmart and buy a butt roast and slow cook that porcine beast until it's fall off the bone tender. And that's what I did.


The End of The World

Walmart was empty, you could fire off a canon and not hit anyone, but the pork was there. It's rubbed and ready for the Compound's oven, while we clean weapons, load magazines and dare the Weather to do its worst.

Invictus,

LSP

Thursday, August 31, 2017

Fish 1 LSP 0



The air was clear, bright and for Texas at the end of August, pleasantly cool. So why not head over to the dam after visiting the sick and see if the fish were biting. Good plan, eh?




No, bad plan because of the War on Weather, which stopped the dam letting water out of Lake Whitney into the Brazos and further inundating an already flooded Houston.  That meant there weren't any fish in the channel apart from a few lazy Gar and lots of turtles.




So I didn't catch anything. Still, it was good to unwind for an hour or so overlooking the water and, to be honest, I was more in it for the country air and relaxation than anything else. Mind you, there's no escaping the fact that the fish won this round.

Good luck next time, fish. This isn't over.

Fish on,

LSP

Thursday, August 24, 2017

That's Pretty Country



This sure is country, I thought as I looked at the machinery in the back of someone's rig in Walmart's famous country car park. Perhaps I should set up a chapel at this particular super-center and doubtless do a roaring trade. 

But seriously, what's happened to all the country pursuits that LSPland is famous for; shooting, fishing, riding, armed walkabouts in the bucolic mesquite groves of Olde Texas. What's happened to all of that? 




Getting a 17 year old into the hallowed halls of rural academe is what's happened, and I tell you this. It's not necessarily easy transferring a kid from the Canadian system into the Texan one, at least academically. By contrast, the football part wasn't hard at all; come on in and join the team was their motto.

Still, the High School enrollment evolution is almost over, which means the horizons of sporting life are starting to open up again, thank God. Must get back in the saddle, catch some fish and see if I still know how to shoot.


Look At All The Great Guns I've Bought!

Speaking of shooting, I'm tempted to do two things. One, buy an over and under shotgun and two, a .357 Magnum revolver. But all that's hypothetical. After Hurricane Harvey, Texas may have ceased to exist, sinking, like Atlantis, under the waves of a tumultuous sea.

Thunder is heaving across the sky as I write this fascinating entry, and that's country life.

In Texas,

LSP

Saturday, April 29, 2017

Miserable Offenders



It sounds simple and it should be simple. As the heat climbs ever higher, turn on the AC and enjoy the cooling blast of chilled air. 

That's the myth. The reality is you turn on the air and all you get is a groan and a hiss as the temperature in the house approaches ovenlike intensity. 


Broken Rubbish

What do you do when that happens? Get out the fans, open the large screened windows and start to melt while you call the HVAC tech. But hey, whoever said the War on Weather'd be easy?


El Nino Will Build The Wall

Speaking of which, Senator Ted Cruz has sensibly suggested that we use El Nino's confiscated millions to build the much-needed border wall. Good call.

Your Old Pal,

LSP

Monday, December 12, 2016

The Vatican Goes Green!



Pope Francis' Vatican has issued tough new directives requiring priests and seminarians to go green and take the "emerging planetary crisis" seriously by having an "ecological conversion."

Rome's eco-directive, called "The Gift of the Priestly Formation," goes on to state that “it will be necessary for future priests to be highly sensitive to this theme and, through the requisite Magisterial and theological guidance, help to acknowledge the appeal, immensity and urgency of the challenge we face.”


Typical Global Warming

Here at the Compound we take the urgency of the War on Weather very seriously indeed. That's why we favor the workmanlike Glock 21 and its 13 rounds of .45 ACP stopping power, capable of unnerving accuracy in the most adverse weather conditions.


A Glock and a Spyrderco in the War on Weather

Some prefer the mighty .357 Magnum, but here's a thought.When the emerging planetary crisis has taken 6 rounds and you have to reload, the Glock 21's still firing.

Lead downrange, in the War on Weather.

LSP



Thursday, September 1, 2016

Opening Day



"Mornin', looks like Summer's back," I called out to my neighbor, through the humid miasma of a Texan September 1st. "Yeah, happens 'bout every 100 years," he growled. "Sure, it's like a war," I replied, hauling an empty trash can behind the compound's perimeter. And that was the start of Opening Day, but not the finish.




A few hours later we were in a dove field, somewhere in Texas, setting up. Rigs parked, decoys out, shooters positioned strategically and then wait, in the sweltering heat. No birds, just heat and steam rising up from the waterlogged ground.  Then things changed.





Clouds rolled in from the North, along with thunder, complementing the sound of distant shots. Somewhere, not too far away, birds were coming in and there was action. Would it come our way?




Cooler weather certainly did, a big relief, and with it, small groups of dove, in twos and threes, came barreling over the treeline at the decoys as lightning arced from the sky, and the guns blazed away like the flak towers of Old Berlin. All against the far-off barrage of thunder.




Pretty dramatic, and the shooters down the line got the best of it, downing 8 birds in fairly quick succession. Good work, boys. It was slower from my position but still, not bad. I shot enough to get the adrenaline up, as well as missing enough to guard against the sin of pride.




Then, as dusk set in, we fell back to HQ to grill up some poppers and sausages and I tell you, a good day was had by all.

Get out in the field,

LSP


Monday, June 6, 2016

Getting to The Range



There's not been a lot of shooting in LSPland lately because of our enemy, the Weather. Seriously, it's rained so much that the places I like to shoot at have been pretty much off-limits. But that's changed, at least for now, with a few days of heat and sun.

So I drove down to the range with GWB and a couple of wood stocked Ruger American .22s, a value pack of ammo and a mind set on a few hours of firearms fun. Make up for lost time, I thought to myself, and blaze away in the clean country air. Right on, get out and shoot.




Then disaster struck. Thanks to the Weather, part of a tree had fallen and was blocking the way into the range. It was a significant obstacle and there was no way it was going to move without a chainsaw and there wasn't one.

"We need a saw," said GWB, thoughtfully, and I agreed, "Yes, and there isn't one." I optimistically tried a bit of telekenesis on the fallen timber; maybe staring at the branches would shift them out of the way. No, it didn't, and then it came to me, GWB had had the foresight to bring a multitool. "What about your Leatherman?" I asked,  "That has a sawblade, a surprisingly good one."




Sure enough, the Leatherman Wave's handy saw made quick work of an offending branch and we were able to drive around the road block. Moral of the story?





Don't underestimate our enemy the Weather, it can throw some nasty punches. Also, be prepared, have the kit you need to reach your objective. Most importantly, when things go wrong you can sit there in your pajama onesie, whining into your coco as you wait for the Government to step in and save you, good luck with that. Or you can take matters into your own hands and find a solution.




That's what happened today. We cut through the wood and drove on through, to the other side.

Thanks, Leatherman Wave. You work.

LSP


Thursday, June 2, 2016

Thunderstruck



As this small kebob stand on the information superhighway is now all about the weather, it's only right to release this powerful version of the AC/DC classic, Thunderstruck.

By Finns. Let the reader understand.

That is all,

LSP

Monday, April 18, 2016

Texas Floods!



Those of you who know I35 know that it's a difficult, treacherous and brutish highway. Now it's flooded, and desperate refugees make their way over the watery grave of this once great transit corridor on the floating debris of abandoned farms and derelict strip malls. 


A Typical Texas Street Scene

It's like Waterworld, but worse, far worse. Smart people had boats and got to them in time, others had the good fortune, or was it good sense? to live on high ground. They were the lucky ones.


El Nino

If only this once great state had had the foresight and sheer common sense to acknowledge the settled science of anthropocentric global warming and pay its weather tax. If only. Now that opportunity is gone and Texas is yet another victim, a casualty, in the War on Weather.

Your Friend,

LSP

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

The Storm Continues



Everything on the deck went flying off, there was a refrigerator 
that went flying by.


There's a storm brewing, in fact it's already here, and I'm not talking about the popular insurgency against our self-serving, crony millionaire, NWO ruling elites and their puppet stooges in academia and the media. 


Green

No, I'm talking about the weather in Texas, where it's been raining with a kind of tornadolike intensity which has made everything green. Not carbon tax, fill the coffers of bloated government green, but real green, as in grass. That's rare here.



Under Water

It's also put everything underwater, and not just the economy! That may be submerged under trillions of dollars of bad debt, thanks to our economic genius overlords, but so too is my back yard. It's flooded.



A Typical Mitt Mask


As I write this, loud thunder fills the air and I don't think it's coming from Rat Hands Rubio's campaign, or from his Master, "Mitt" Romney.





Perhaps it's the thunder of dotcom millionaire private jets, on their feverish way to stop the storm. Or maybe it's just the weather, which we're in a war with.

Don't get washed away,

LSP

Monday, February 29, 2016

Millionaire Socialist Buffoon




Millionaire socialist celebrity, Leonardo DiCaprio, lectured the world last night about the dangers of Global Warming, after finally winning an Oscar


“Climate change is real. It is happening right now," said the star of the Revenant, "It is the most urgent threat affecting our species. We need to work together and stop procrastinating.”





DiCaprio has a personal interest in Climate Change, after the weather forced polar bears off of melting ice caps and onto the Revenant movie set, where they turned brown and "took" the rich Hollywood movie star.

Shocked audiences watched in horror as the rich young socialist was taken by a bear, all because of anthropocentric global warming brought on by out of control CO2 emissions from DiCaprio's private jet.




Leonardo, you were great in the Wolf of Wall Street and the midget scene was pretty neat, but you are still a millionaire socialist buffoon. 

Just another soldier in the war, the War on Weather.

LSP

Sunday, January 10, 2016

The Baptism of Christ



It's good to be back in Texas and we celebrated the Baptism of Our Lord today. I suggested that Christ's baptism served as a model, or template for our own, and encouraged everyone to renew their baptismal vows.




Part of that means renouncing the "world," as well as the flesh and the Devil, and I asked one of the congregations what that meant. "Just what are the 'evil powers of this world which corrupt and destroy the creatures of God?'" I questioned, in a display of stunning homiletic brilliance, "Some would say 'Global Warming' or would that be 'Climate Change?'" Everyone laughed at that. 




Speaking of which, El Nino's been captured in Mexico, thanks to Sean Penn and Nino's vainglorious desire to make a Narcos style biopic. But the question is, how long will the notorious weather criminal kingpin stay in jail?

God bless,

LSP

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Another Battle in The War on Weather



Just when you think you're safe, our enemy, the Weather, attacks when you least expect it. That happened this morning in Calgary, as the climate changed and delivered a payload of Global Warming.

I wasn't going to take that lying down, like some kind of dhimmi, and surrender without a fight to violent weather extremism, so I went outside.




It was quite chilly along the windblown Narnia that was 9th Ave, but a warm coffee helped to restore the system and got me back in the fight.




Calgary's famous Biker Alley was eerily deserted. All the Angels were probably inside, fixing their broken Harleys, or maybe they're still in mourning for Lemmy.




Recce patrol over it was back to base and more coffee. Global Warming continues to fall.

Be safe,

LSP