Showing posts with label Walmart. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Walmart. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 29, 2020

Lube Up



Walmart's lube experts were overwhelmed today, unlike the nation's hospitals. But I persevered, don't give up in the face of adversity, buddy. That meant get outta the rig, "Hey, you guys open or what?" They were, but it'd take awhile to put oil in the engine. "We're swamped, unlike ICU, so go shopping for a bit," said the masked bravado. "You bet, I'll do that."

Which I did. Walmart's got all these stupid arrows everywhere because they think that'll stop the invisible China Virus which doesn't kill anyone. 

You know, if you walk along the path of the arrow you won't get sick. Like inverse Dojo wisdom. Whatev, I ignored this nonsense like everyone else who wasn't getting sick, and headed for the computers.


Fail

There they were, glistening and new, kind of. Well, "gently used." Didn't take long to direct their MS search engines to LSP. And I noticed, weirdly, that the annoying "Bing" loves this mind blog. Google? Not so much. Thanks, Big Tech censorship.


Terrapin

One small act of subversion over, the store speaker blared out, gulag style, "LSP, your vehicle is ready!" And so it was. Thanks, grease monkeys, for keeping the 270+k rig in working order.

And there you have it. Crush the NWO underheel.

Your Pal,

LSP


Thursday, April 23, 2020

Go On, Unload The Truck



The local food bank was taking delivery of a big shipment this morning so I lent a hand unloading the truck. This meant I had to wear a mask for the first time in this strange and dystopic plague year.




Was the wretched mask necessary, and the curious black latex gloves which went with it? Who knows, they're just a "rule" at the food bank, but a Spyderco Persistence certainly came in handy for taking down boxes. It's my pandemic knife carry and seems right for the season.




Fascinating knives aside, there's a small Americana museum next door to the food bank, I think it's an excuse for someone to store his collection, and part of that means several ancient vehicles rusting in a lot beside the building. 




You can imagine the wonder of their makers at being told America would be shut down and 26 million unemployed in 2020 because of a Chinese Virus.




After a couple of hours the job was done and I headed off to Walmart to get some supplies for an elderly lady who doesn't get out much. You'll be glad to know this included a bottle of red wine, which she likes.




And please say a prayer for Linda G, a frequent commenter on this shallow mind blog. She lost her house to a tornado yesterday but, thank God, is safe and unharmed. 

LL puts it well, "Her comments on her own blog and on this one reflect her inner strength, her faith in God and her towering grace of spirit and love toward all." Well said, Mr. Wolf, and God bless you and give you strength, Linda.

Your Old Friend,

LSP

Friday, March 6, 2020

This is Crazy



A call, urgent, "This is crazy. They're buying all the toilet paper, you would say 'loo roll' or 'Andrex' but it's the same, and the shelves are empty. Send money. They're goddam tasering people."

"Hey, use backyard snow, it's safer. Who knows where that stuff was even made. Stand by for transfer."


All Means All

Thirty minutes later, cold, hard cash was on its way to loo roll stricken Calgary via ones and zeros, Walmart to World digital. Business over, I checked out the store. 


A Doomed Fool is Saved. By a Hero?

Plenty of bathroom tissue on the shelves, and I bought some, now there's less. But what about rice? Lots left, boil it first. 


Plenty of Loo Roll, in Texas

Over at the Pick 'n Steal the radio was on and playing a warning, "Wash your hands, we have this well contained. Do not panic." Maria was rattled, nervous, "I'm trying to sell these things and listen to, you know, this. They're shutting down schools and everything."


You Can Indict a Ham Sandwich

Maybe we should've shut the border with Communist, Godless China long ago. Maybe we should never have opened that border in the first place, and allowed the Bolsheviks to stew and ferment in their own version of hell masquerading as heaven. But no, smart people had to make money.




As ye reap, friends, so shall ye sow. Hope you're all prepped up and ready to bug-in before the shelves empty.

Cheers,

LSP

Wednesday, September 4, 2019

Gun Confiscation


Everyone's on the Left's howling for gun confiscation, again, and that's because some crazy shot up Odessa, Texas. Walmart's even announced it won't be selling pistol and "assault rifle ammunition" at its stores. I won't comment, but check out Tucker. I'd say he's right in the X Ring.




Disclaimer. I don't watch Fox or any other network, why pay for propaganda to be piped directly into your home to make you a better serf? Still, I'd say Carlson's value on this. Your call.

Gun rights,

LSP

Saturday, December 22, 2018

This & That



Things get kind of hectic in the lead up to Christmas, even in the laid back rural wonderland of the Compound. Problem being that by tradition I drive to the metrosprawl a few days before Christmas to get presents.


Devolution?

I broke with unholy tradition this year by doing all the shopping right here in town, within view of the hangin' trees on the Square. Boom. Done. This freed up space and time to visit the flock, deliver Christmas gifts to the Fire Department and local LE, and visit the mighty Brazos.


The Mighty Brazos

No one was catching anything but it was good to see the river and plot against the piscine adversary. Recce patrol, sort of thing. Then Walmart got a look-in. I tell you, that's where the church should be because that's where the people are, in all their glory and everything else in between. 


A Beautiful Unicorn

Dwarves, unicorns, elves, all the flotsam and jetsam of Middle Earth in abundance, right here in North Central Texas; no kidding, like the court of kings. 


The Halls of Moria

Resisting the urge to set up in the midst of the action, I went about my business, got the job done and headed back to base in that sweet sunny southern weather.


Ride on

As I type this exciting letter home from the southern front of the War on Weather, pheasant's boiling in the pot along with assorted veg. It'll become a pie, a victory pie in the ongoing battle for or against global warming.

Take that, vast international readership, as you will.

Gun rights,

LSP

Friday, November 23, 2018

Black Friday Frenzy!



Black Friday. Here we are at one of the pyramid peak celebrations of the old lie. Viz. Buying more molded plastic and associated things will make you happy, fulfilled and rich. Being a citizen journalist, I went to Walmart to cover the story.




Mallbrawls, scrapping over flatscreens, getting into it over rollovers? No. You could've shot a canon down the aisles of cut price mammon and not hit a soul.

I walked away, as a committed Monarchist, with some eggs, carrots, bullets, a bottle of wine and pie crust pastry. It was easy, no lines.




Why the absence, had a neutron bomb gone off, were people too full to move or were they staying at home in a grass roots movement to boycott the big corp rainbow in favour of a return to the governance of Christendom?



On that theme, well done Russia, you're the one that got away from beneath the talons of the nihilist beast.


LSP 

Friday, July 6, 2018

RAIN



You know what it's like. Walk out the door and you're in an oven, a preheating oven and there's no respite. Open the door to your rig and a blast of oven-hot air comes out and pounds you in the face. Relentless.

All in all it's like a furnace, so hot it seems the very air itself might ignite. That's probably why there's been a burn ban; wouldn't want any stray sparks catching the air on fire, would we.




And that's Texas in July, hot as Hell's Narthex, which was all too apparent in the parking lot of this asset-stripped rural haven's Walmart. 




There we were, the heat, the rig, the melting asphalt, Madonna singing Rain, it was hard to even move and then there it was. A cloud, a rain cloud.




It pulled in from the East and gathered momentum, thunderheads, and sure enough the heavens started to growl and rumble. Then lightning arced down like Satan falling from power and it began to rain.




Some of you, maybe all, will understand this. But whatever, take it as read that this Climate Change is a sure and certain gift from God.




Chill out,

LSP

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

ICE



Was it celestial outrage over the British Army's new ad campaign, heavenly anger at the MillSoc antics of Moby and Sean Penn or just our old enemy, the weather, getting back at Texas for failing to pay a tribute tax? Who knows but for whatever reason, ice began to fall from the sky last night.


Apocalypse

It started off as freezing rain, driven by icy blasts of bonesplitting wind that swept the porch as though it were the open bridge of a ship in a winter gale. Then the rain turned to ice, followed by tiny shards of snow. 

Sure, if this was Calgary everyone would be heaving a sigh of relief at the warmth of it all but this is Texas and -9+ is something to be conjured with, to say nothing of Sky Ice.


Eschaton

The day dawned to a scene of frozen stasis. Nothing moved except a man and a blue dog on their way to the Pick 'n Steal, which was miraculously open. Then it hit me, an epiphany or eureka moment. Go to Walmart and buy a butt roast and slow cook that porcine beast until it's fall off the bone tender. And that's what I did.


The End of The World

Walmart was empty, you could fire off a canon and not hit anyone, but the pork was there. It's rubbed and ready for the Compound's oven, while we clean weapons, load magazines and dare the Weather to do its worst.

Invictus,

LSP

Saturday, December 2, 2017

We Are Standing On The Edge



What, the edge of time? Of civil war and the Eschaton itself? No, just the edge of Walmart and the fields in this small slice of rural Texan paradise. But does the Golden Void speak to me? Not really but I won't deny it's not a bad place to be.




The rig's oil is refreshed, its engine will live again to fight another day, and all's well with the world as the sun sets over the fields on the outskirts of town.




Saying that, our lying, corrupt, pernicious, venal, smug, self-serving, mendacious, aggressive mainstream media have been busy accusing President Trump of being a Russian spy. Here's Alex Jones.




Make of it what you will but word to the wise, don't put up with being a serf dupe of the globalist New World Order and its Illuminati overlords. And remember, it's all a conspiracy until it isn't.

All best for Advent,

LSP

Thursday, August 24, 2017

That's Pretty Country



This sure is country, I thought as I looked at the machinery in the back of someone's rig in Walmart's famous country car park. Perhaps I should set up a chapel at this particular super-center and doubtless do a roaring trade. 

But seriously, what's happened to all the country pursuits that LSPland is famous for; shooting, fishing, riding, armed walkabouts in the bucolic mesquite groves of Olde Texas. What's happened to all of that? 




Getting a 17 year old into the hallowed halls of rural academe is what's happened, and I tell you this. It's not necessarily easy transferring a kid from the Canadian system into the Texan one, at least academically. By contrast, the football part wasn't hard at all; come on in and join the team was their motto.

Still, the High School enrollment evolution is almost over, which means the horizons of sporting life are starting to open up again, thank God. Must get back in the saddle, catch some fish and see if I still know how to shoot.


Look At All The Great Guns I've Bought!

Speaking of shooting, I'm tempted to do two things. One, buy an over and under shotgun and two, a .357 Magnum revolver. But all that's hypothetical. After Hurricane Harvey, Texas may have ceased to exist, sinking, like Atlantis, under the waves of a tumultuous sea.

Thunder is heaving across the sky as I write this fascinating entry, and that's country life.

In Texas,

LSP

Saturday, August 19, 2017

Tales of Country Life in Texas



It was a day much like any other day, triple digit heat bouncing off Walmart's car park and you could feel the nuttiness as soon as you got inside the store. 

There it was, no sooner through the automatic doors and people were acting weird, off-hand and unbalanced, as though things could spin out of control. Maybe it was the heat.


Random SMLE

I took a cart and pushed on to stock up, milk, bread, wine, cheese and for some reason, root beer. It seemed good to me, I don't know why and it wasn't easy to get, there was too much random motion.

As I pulled the 4 pack of IBC into the cart, a weather-beaten woman slid across the aisle in front of me in dirty socks. No shoes, just socks; I guess it's easier to skate over Walmart's vinyl floor in socks, shoes have too much traction. I dodged out of the way but didn't get far.


Furries

A grinning, white haired giant loomed out of the freezer aisle into my path. "Say," he growled, "What's the only room in the hospital where they'll notice you?" I wasn't feeling quick and told him I didn't know. That satisfied him, after all, this was his joke. "I'll tell you, Emergency. They have a sign, says I... C... U..." 

We locked eyes and a grin creased his already lined, tan face. I told him that was pretty funny and he nodded. A moment of understanding. In the meanwhile, sock-skater had disappeared into the depths of the store and I checked out, passing the old men sitting on the bench outside the hair salon, looking brown as nuts under their veterans hats and not doing much at all except regarding the spectacle of the place unfold. This was their afternoon; I noticed one had been in Korea, but don't stare, it's rude.


Note The 12

I loaded my groceries into the rig and there, across the melting asphalt, were two young guys playing show-and-tell with a pump action twelve gauge outside their truck. Hey, why not, it's Walmart in August, there's no rule. 

Back home, Eduardo and Maria were slaughtering chickens in the back yard and getting it on to some Mexican music. They're good people and I like them; sometimes they bring me fresh eggs, which taste better than the things you buy in stores.




And that's country life.

In Texas,

LSP


Saturday, January 14, 2017

Cooking With LSP, Spaghetti -- UPDATE





"What!" you say in that exasperated I've got better things to do with my time tone, "Cooking with LSP? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard." Not so fast, large international readership, you can cook with LSP and here's how.


Tomatoes

Go to Walmart and marvel at the guy with a shaved head and an eagle tattooed across his scalp, then pick up 2 Ilbs of ground beef, 80/20, an onion, some garlic, a big can of tinned tomatoes and its diminutive brother, tomato paste. Guess what, none of this is expensive or even hard to find.


Spyderco

Then take your haul home in the rig and get down to business. First, chop up the garlic, around 3 cloves, and a medium onion. Perhaps you use a Spyderco Perseverance for this arduous task, perhaps you don't, there's no rule

Next step. Make like a Sovereign and pour a tablespoon of olive oil in a pot, add the onion and garlic and heat it up until translucent; do not burn the garlic like a fool.


Mix It Up

Add two thirds of your six buck Walmart 80/20 and brown it off. Stand back in amazement as the fat renders off the ground beef and pour in a big can of whole tomatoes and half a can of tomato paste. 

Feeling confident in your culinary expertise, spice it up with some basil and a couple of bay leaves. Don't be shy of salt and pepper and, if you're not on the pledge, some red wine.


Optional

Speaking of which, this is a good time to have a well deserved drink. After all, you've earned it, but don't forget your food! Stir the in potentia Spaghetti Bolognese around with a wooden spoon, bring it to a boil and then reduce heat. Let that bad boy simmer away covered for an hour or so, give it time to rest, then serve with spaghetti and Parmesan cheese.


Come Together

And that's the way I do it. Some people use fresh as opposed to canned tomatoes and I admire that, way to go; I can't be bothered. Others add carrots, celery, mushrooms, corn, sugar, whatever. I don't, I think that's a mistake.


Don't add carrots.

Sidearms are not essential to this recipe but they help, and remember...


Every gun is a loaded gun.

Your Old Pal,

LSP

*******************************************

UPDATE   UPDATE   UPDATE   UPDATE

*******************************************

The handgun is NOT optional.

A pinch of sugar, chili powder, and mushrooms are advised.

Gunpowder may be used. Marmite may be used.

END