HOT ROD

 

You go to the country store and what do you get? A hot rod.

And then some. Wow. No foolin'.

Most awesome. Serious attention to detail.

I left impressed but perhaps you disagree?

Ride on,

LSP

CPL Circus Freakshow

Have you ever seen anything like it? The President nominates a straight-arrow-as-you-like man for SCOTUS and the left goes crazy ape berserk, to the extent of madness. 

We heard the screaming, we saw the Handmaids Tale cozplay and we've watched in amazement as one after another apparent victim of Kavanaugh's sexual abuse is brought into the spotlight by none other than Michael Avenatti, Stormy Daniels' creepy porn lawyer.

None of the self-proclaimed victims have any evidence, at all, but so what, the Dems are desperate. Who cares if Swetnick has a massive lien, went to weird singles balls and was in college while she was hanging out at multiple train rape high school parties.

Like, who cares if Ford's yearbooks reveal her to be a boozehound, blackout, teenage sex drunk? 

Hey, I don't judge but Dems, you're not doing your cause any favors. Speaking of which, Michael Avenatti, creepy porn lawyer, is thinking of throwing his two tone suit into the 2020 race. That's if 4 chan doesn't get him first; remember Shia?

Whatever, here's a silver lining. Avenatti 2020.

Your Old Friend,

LSP

Ball Joint Apocalypse

While everyone else was busy "taking the knee" or burning NFL logos, I was taking the rig to the shop. You see, the front suspension was sounding rough and creaky.

Where was the creak coming from? Sure, somewhere at the front but where exactly; hard to tell. I rocked the stationary leviathan back and forth, trying to pinpoint the apocalyptic creak. Like a hot coal falling from a smoking thurible, it seemed to be coming from behind the wheels.

Underneath an F150

So I climbed under the thing and had a look, all the while pushing up on the Beast to provoke the eschatological creak. Was it the shocks, tie rods, sway bar or ball joints? 

Not The Problem But Change Out The Ancient Shocks Anyway

With a sinking feeling that the end of the world was near, I figured it was probably the ball joints. But, hope against hope, I sprayed lithium grease and WD40 over everything, all on the off-chance that a miracle would occur and lube would magically cure the hideous creak.

 Note The Eschatological Bottom Ball Joint

It didn't, no more than words like "millionaire socialist hypocrite" would cure the concussed minds of our nation's baller geniuses. That's because Ford, in its wisdom, doesn't build grease inlets into F150 ball joints. You can spray all the lube you want and it's not going to grease up the interior of the joints, which dry out and die.

Brazen

I know, you'll scorn me for not attempting the job myself but I took the rig to the Shop of The Brazen Pineapple that rests upon the Seven Hills of this rural haven and they quoted me $700, mostly labor.

Genius Patrol

The moral of this end-times tale of country life in Texas is simple. Built-in obsolescence is evil, and learn how to replace your ball joints or pay the price.

Here endeth the lesson.

LSP

Tea With LSP

Part of the problem with having your teeth out is that you can't chew anything until your gums have healed and the new gnashers settled. But you can sip, in my case, hot tea.

And apologies, "stars and bars" should be "stars and stripes" in the above infovid.

Cheers,

LSP