Basta

Have you heard the news? Quondam presidential hopeful Michael Avenatti, popularly known as Creepy Porn Lawyer (CPL), has been found guilty on all counts of attempting to extort money from Nike. He awaits sentencing.

Race Cars! No coke obvs

Avenatti, signature sign-off Basta, who obviously isn't a coke addict, represented famous prostitute Stormy Daniels in a case against Trump, which ended badly with Stormy being ordered to pay 45's legal costs. But the once and not so future president started to sink under the sheer weight of hubris and totally fictional cocaine bills.

Prostitute. Clearly no coke

Before you could say "8 Ball," CPL was hauled before the court for fraud, extortion, skulduggery and malfeasance. Nike, it seems, didn't take kindly to the wannabe race car driver's cokehead's attempt at blackmail, and his former wife's not too keen either. 

No Coke Involved Whatsoever

But look, here at the Compound we don't sit and gloat. No, we hope that a coke free CPL has learned his lesson and will rise from the ashes to use his skills to help us all in the not inconsiderable task of making America great again.

A Man in Full without any coke whatsoever

I know, you're saying, "Is this a chapter in a Tom Wolfe novel,  like Bonfire of the Vanities or A Man in Full?!?" What can we say? Cinéma vérité.

Basta,

LSP

It's Gettin' Stormy!

Do you remember the bizarre contender for the Democrat 2020 throne, Michael Avenatti, popularly known as Creepy Porn Lawyer (CPL)? Sure you do, CPL's the hot shot lawyer representing Stormy Daniels, the famous dancing prostitute who went after Trump for an alleged affair in 2006. 

Stormy owes Trump money

But things haven't been easy for Stormy or CPL. Just today, a California judge ordered the stripper to pay Trump over $290,000 in legal fees, including  $1000 in sanctions for a frivolous lawsuit against the president. Stormy, under the aegis of the brilliant CPL, had sued the president for defamation following a Trumpian tweet and... lost the case.

CPL, defender of wimmyn's rights everywhere

How will Stormy pay the bill? Through her gofundme appeal of course, which as of August had raised $585,563. That'll cover the fine and some of CPL's fees, and we have to thank all the well meaning progressives who helped finance Trump's legal team. 

Whether Stormy and CPL will win their NDA lawsuit against the president remains to be seen. If they do, the proceeds might go some way towards covering Avenatti's mounting financial woes.

Just one of the fellas!

CPL's been ordered to pay his ex-wife $37,897 in child support and $124,398 in spousal support. A month. Far more than most people in the world earn in a year or several. 

And that's not all, the hapless Avenatti's been ordered to give his fortunate Ex his Farrari Spyder, ahem "art," his collection of super pricey watches and a share in a private jet, all by way of retroactive payments to his former wife.

One of the best things about cocaine is that it doesn't make you arrogant or weird.

What a lot of money! Amounting to rather over a $1 million a year, and that's before the unfortunate champion of womyns rights has even bought anything. Who knows, maybe CPL's going to recoup the loss with a staggeringly, not coke-fueled, win against Trump with his All Star client, Stormy.

She, by the way, ran for office as a Republican back in 2010. Here's Wikipedia:

In April 2010, Daniels finally declared herself a Republican candidate. Her decision was inspired by disclosures that the Republican National Committee (RNC) had paid expenses for fundraisers at a "lesbian bondage themed nightclub" in Los Angeles, stating that the revelations "finally tipped the scales".

I tell you, can't make this stuff up. Hunter Thompson's Generation of Swine was a couple of decades early and millions of dollars short. 

And who knows, maybe Stormy will make up the deficit by dancing in her declining years. Good luck to her.

I loved this place

CPL, on the other hand? Perhaps Satan's discarded its malfeasant toy.

Cheers,

LSP

TRUMP V. HORSEFACE CAGEMATCH

Current cagematch chanpion, the Grand Commander, Donald the Strong, has thrown down the gauntlet, threatening celebrity prostitute fighter, Stormy Horseface Daniels, that he'd "go after her."

“Great, now I can go after Horseface and her 3rd rate lawyer in the Great State of Texas,” tweeted the Grand Commander on social media. But the Prostitute wasn't far behind. "Game on, tiny," tweeted the famous pole dancer, after accusing the President of bestiality.

Justice For The Pimp!

The Commander's comments come after one of the Prostitute's lawsuits against the President was tossed out of court and the stripper's lawyer, Avenatti, was ordered to pay Trump's legal fees.

Game on, but who will win this white knuckle, seat of your pants fight to the last lawyer standing? For that matter, can CPL and the Prostitute even afford those fees; will this match be over before it's even begun?

Bets on!

LSP

CPL Circus Freakshow

Have you ever seen anything like it? The President nominates a straight-arrow-as-you-like man for SCOTUS and the left goes crazy ape berserk, to the extent of madness. 

We heard the screaming, we saw the Handmaids Tale cozplay and we've watched in amazement as one after another apparent victim of Kavanaugh's sexual abuse is brought into the spotlight by none other than Michael Avenatti, Stormy Daniels' creepy porn lawyer.

None of the self-proclaimed victims have any evidence, at all, but so what, the Dems are desperate. Who cares if Swetnick has a massive lien, went to weird singles balls and was in college while she was hanging out at multiple train rape high school parties.

Like, who cares if Ford's yearbooks reveal her to be a boozehound, blackout, teenage sex drunk? 

Hey, I don't judge but Dems, you're not doing your cause any favors. Speaking of which, Michael Avenatti, creepy porn lawyer, is thinking of throwing his two tone suit into the 2020 race. That's if 4 chan doesn't get him first; remember Shia?

Whatever, here's a silver lining. Avenatti 2020.

Your Old Friend,

LSP