Friday, February 14, 2020


Have you heard the news? Quondam presidential hopeful Michael Avenatti, popularly known as Creepy Porn Lawyer (CPL), has been found guilty on all counts of attempting to extort money from Nike. He awaits sentencing.

Race Cars! No coke obvs

Avenatti, signature sign-off Basta, who obviously isn't a coke addict, represented famous prostitute Stormy Daniels in a case against Trump, which ended badly with Stormy being ordered to pay 45's legal costs. But the once and not so future president started to sink under the sheer weight of hubris and totally fictional cocaine bills.

Prostitute. Clearly no coke

Before you could say "8 Ball," CPL was hauled before the court for fraud, extortion, skulduggery and malfeasance. Nike, it seems, didn't take kindly to the wannabe race car driver's cokehead's attempt at blackmail, and his former wife's not too keen either. 

No Coke Involved Whatsoever

But look, here at the Compound we don't sit and gloat. No, we hope that a coke free CPL has learned his lesson and will rise from the ashes to use his skills to help us all in the not inconsiderable task of making America great again.

A Man in Full without any coke whatsoever

I know, you're saying, "Is this a chapter in a Tom Wolfe novel,  like Bonfire of the Vanities or A Man in Full?!?" What can we say? Cinéma vérité.




Well Seasoned Fool said...

If you must step on your pee pee, do it large!

LL said...

The way that I look at it, there are a lot of very large black guys who work out every day who are waiting (with some anticipation) for CPL to come and share a bunk.

It's said that you can buy cocaine in prison, and if you don't have any money, you can trade for it. I'm sure that CPL will avail himself of the opportunity.

Adrienne said...

CPL is very, very creepy. Profound? You betcha...

Infidel de Manahatta said...

But...but...but....the ladies (and I use that term loosely) of The View all but assured me that he would be the 2020 Democratic presidential nominee and take on Orange Man Bad!!

Kid said...

I see him as a leopard who can't change his spots.

LSP said...

WSF, Basta did it admirably, respect.

LSP said...

LL, we have to wonder if CPL's leveraging his contacts to best benefit. That aside, picture the sheer, wigged-out hubris of the, ahem, snort, next President.

Mr. Wolfe, you were a seer.


LSP said...

Weird and creepy, Adrienne. Remember, he was going to be PRESIDENT, snort.

LSP said...

But Infidel, he was like the Holy Spirit. In all places, everywhere, not least the View. Then, like Icarus himself he flew too close to the Sun?

No, not the tabloid.


LSP said...

Kid, I'll not say you're wrong.