Have you heard the news? Quondam presidential hopeful Michael Avenatti, popularly known as Creepy Porn Lawyer (CPL), has been found guilty on all counts of attempting to extort money from Nike. He awaits sentencing.
Race Cars! No coke obvs
Avenatti, signature sign-off Basta, who obviously isn't a coke addict, represented famous prostitute Stormy Daniels in a case against Trump, which ended badly with Stormy being ordered to pay 45's legal costs. But the once and not so future president started to sink under the sheer weight of hubris and totally fictional cocaine bills.
Prostitute. Clearly no coke
Before you could say "8 Ball," CPL was hauled before the court for fraud, extortion, skulduggery and malfeasance. Nike, it seems, didn't take kindly to the wannabe race car driver's cokehead's attempt at blackmail, and his former wife's not too keen either.
No Coke Involved Whatsoever
But look, here at the Compound we don't sit and gloat. No, we hope that a coke free CPL has learned his lesson and will rise from the ashes to use his skills to help us all in the not inconsiderable task of making America great again.
A Man in Full without any coke whatsoever
I know, you're saying, "Is this a chapter in a Tom Wolfe novel, like Bonfire of the Vanities or A Man in Full?!?" What can we say? Cinéma vérité.
Basta,
LSP
