Basta

Have you heard the news? Quondam presidential hopeful Michael Avenatti, popularly known as Creepy Porn Lawyer (CPL), has been found guilty on all counts of attempting to extort money from Nike. He awaits sentencing.

Race Cars! No coke obvs

Avenatti, signature sign-off Basta, who obviously isn't a coke addict, represented famous prostitute Stormy Daniels in a case against Trump, which ended badly with Stormy being ordered to pay 45's legal costs. But the once and not so future president started to sink under the sheer weight of hubris and totally fictional cocaine bills.

Prostitute. Clearly no coke

Before you could say "8 Ball," CPL was hauled before the court for fraud, extortion, skulduggery and malfeasance. Nike, it seems, didn't take kindly to the wannabe race car driver's cokehead's attempt at blackmail, and his former wife's not too keen either. 

No Coke Involved Whatsoever

But look, here at the Compound we don't sit and gloat. No, we hope that a coke free CPL has learned his lesson and will rise from the ashes to use his skills to help us all in the not inconsiderable task of making America great again.

A Man in Full without any coke whatsoever

I know, you're saying, "Is this a chapter in a Tom Wolfe novel,  like Bonfire of the Vanities or A Man in Full?!?" What can we say? Cinéma vérité.

Basta,

LSP

What A Remarkable Week!

What an amazing week it's been, and it's only Thursday. Julian Assange bundled into a freedom van by UK Stasi for having the temerity to report the truth, albeit by way of the loathsome Chelsea Manning. Good thing he's got no dirt on Hillary, right?

Then there's the neverending BREXIT, voted for by the British people and betrayed by NWO Eurocrat Theresa May, but does anyone in the UK really care? The vote's out on that score, but the French continue to riot against their repellent Rothschild puppet overlord, Macron and his aged consort, La Trolle Brigitte. Good luck, Gilets Jaunes.

Closer to home, the Attorney General's accused the Obama sanctioned Deep State of, ahem, malfeasance. Malfeasance as in spying on a political opponent and then orchestrating an attempted coup. Of course we knew this all along, Russian bot style, but now it's out in the open. Heads will seemingly roll.

Like Peter Strzok's, who's apparently about to be indicted for being a traitor, and former White House Counsel Gregory Craig. Craig's a liar, allegedly, and how many others? Comey, McCabe, Brennan, Rosenstein, Clapper, Hillary, Podesta, to name several heavy hitters and to say nothing of their serf underlings.

So exciting, but let's not forget Michael Avenatti, popularly known as "creepy porn lawyer" or "CPL." Do you remember when CPL was riding high, running 2020 and representing Stormy? Now CPL's looking at 335 years for tax dodging, money laundering and downright theft. They even took his private jet. 

Such tragedy, but we have to ask and it's an overarching question, has SATAN discarded its toys? Speaking of which, don't forget Juicy Smollet.

Your Old Mate,

LSP

TRUMP V. HORSEFACE CAGEMATCH

Current cagematch chanpion, the Grand Commander, Donald the Strong, has thrown down the gauntlet, threatening celebrity prostitute fighter, Stormy Horseface Daniels, that he'd "go after her."

“Great, now I can go after Horseface and her 3rd rate lawyer in the Great State of Texas,” tweeted the Grand Commander on social media. But the Prostitute wasn't far behind. "Game on, tiny," tweeted the famous pole dancer, after accusing the President of bestiality.

Justice For The Pimp!

The Commander's comments come after one of the Prostitute's lawsuits against the President was tossed out of court and the stripper's lawyer, Avenatti, was ordered to pay Trump's legal fees.

Game on, but who will win this white knuckle, seat of your pants fight to the last lawyer standing? For that matter, can CPL and the Prostitute even afford those fees; will this match be over before it's even begun?

Bets on!

LSP

CPL Circus Freakshow

Have you ever seen anything like it? The President nominates a straight-arrow-as-you-like man for SCOTUS and the left goes crazy ape berserk, to the extent of madness. 

We heard the screaming, we saw the Handmaids Tale cozplay and we've watched in amazement as one after another apparent victim of Kavanaugh's sexual abuse is brought into the spotlight by none other than Michael Avenatti, Stormy Daniels' creepy porn lawyer.

None of the self-proclaimed victims have any evidence, at all, but so what, the Dems are desperate. Who cares if Swetnick has a massive lien, went to weird singles balls and was in college while she was hanging out at multiple train rape high school parties.

Like, who cares if Ford's yearbooks reveal her to be a boozehound, blackout, teenage sex drunk? 

Hey, I don't judge but Dems, you're not doing your cause any favors. Speaking of which, Michael Avenatti, creepy porn lawyer, is thinking of throwing his two tone suit into the 2020 race. That's if 4 chan doesn't get him first; remember Shia?

Whatever, here's a silver lining. Avenatti 2020.

Your Old Friend,

LSP