STORMY

 

You know what it's like. Sometimes invoices get lost and, dammit, your fair share of the Carbon Tax doesn't get paid. Totally understandable, but look what happens, a ferocious storm rolls in from the North as our Old Enemy, the Weather, changes. That's your cue to get on the front porch and dare the Weather to do its worst as lightning cracks and rain sheets down. Not unlike Ahab or King Lear, when you think about it. 

So there you are, wondering if this small slice of rural heaven, much less the Compound itself, will withstand and live through the deluge, arklike, when news comes in that a sham stasi show trial in New York has delivered a guilty verdict against President Trump. Huh, let's see how that brazen skulduggery plays out in the polls.

Note Upper Lip Stud

In related news, yesterday marked the anniversary of the fall of Constantinople in 1453, when Moslem Janissaries poured over the Theodosian walls. What a hideous moment for Christendom, what a triumph for the moon worshiping death cult. Emperor Constantine XI addressed the soldiery before he died in the fighting:

Most noble leaders, illustrious tribunes, generals, most courageous fellow soldiers and all loyal honest citizens! You know well that the hour has come: the enemy of our faith wishes to oppress us even more closely by sea and land with all his engines and skill to attack us with the entire strength of this siege force, as a snake about to spew its venom; he is in a hurry to devour us, like a savage lion. For this reason I am imploring you to fight like men with brave souls, as you have done from the beginning up to this day, against the enemy of our faith. I hand over to you my glorious, famous, respected, noble city, the shining Queen of Cities, our homeland. You know well, my brothers, that we have four obligations in common, which force us to prefer death over survival: first our faith and piety; second our homeland; third, the emperor anointed by the Lord, and fourth; our relatives and friends.

 

You can read the whole speech here as you work towards retaking the second Rome. After all, we need the Bosphorus.

Stormy,

LSP

Basta

Have you heard the news? Quondam presidential hopeful Michael Avenatti, popularly known as Creepy Porn Lawyer (CPL), has been found guilty on all counts of attempting to extort money from Nike. He awaits sentencing.

Race Cars! No coke obvs

Avenatti, signature sign-off Basta, who obviously isn't a coke addict, represented famous prostitute Stormy Daniels in a case against Trump, which ended badly with Stormy being ordered to pay 45's legal costs. But the once and not so future president started to sink under the sheer weight of hubris and totally fictional cocaine bills.

Prostitute. Clearly no coke

Before you could say "8 Ball," CPL was hauled before the court for fraud, extortion, skulduggery and malfeasance. Nike, it seems, didn't take kindly to the wannabe race car driver's cokehead's attempt at blackmail, and his former wife's not too keen either. 

No Coke Involved Whatsoever

But look, here at the Compound we don't sit and gloat. No, we hope that a coke free CPL has learned his lesson and will rise from the ashes to use his skills to help us all in the not inconsiderable task of making America great again.

A Man in Full without any coke whatsoever

I know, you're saying, "Is this a chapter in a Tom Wolfe novel,  like Bonfire of the Vanities or A Man in Full?!?" What can we say? Cinéma vérité.

Basta,

LSP

It's Gettin' Stormy!

Do you remember the bizarre contender for the Democrat 2020 throne, Michael Avenatti, popularly known as Creepy Porn Lawyer (CPL)? Sure you do, CPL's the hot shot lawyer representing Stormy Daniels, the famous dancing prostitute who went after Trump for an alleged affair in 2006. 

Stormy owes Trump money

But things haven't been easy for Stormy or CPL. Just today, a California judge ordered the stripper to pay Trump over $290,000 in legal fees, including  $1000 in sanctions for a frivolous lawsuit against the president. Stormy, under the aegis of the brilliant CPL, had sued the president for defamation following a Trumpian tweet and... lost the case.

CPL, defender of wimmyn's rights everywhere

How will Stormy pay the bill? Through her gofundme appeal of course, which as of August had raised $585,563. That'll cover the fine and some of CPL's fees, and we have to thank all the well meaning progressives who helped finance Trump's legal team. 

Whether Stormy and CPL will win their NDA lawsuit against the president remains to be seen. If they do, the proceeds might go some way towards covering Avenatti's mounting financial woes.

Just one of the fellas!

CPL's been ordered to pay his ex-wife $37,897 in child support and $124,398 in spousal support. A month. Far more than most people in the world earn in a year or several. 

And that's not all, the hapless Avenatti's been ordered to give his fortunate Ex his Farrari Spyder, ahem "art," his collection of super pricey watches and a share in a private jet, all by way of retroactive payments to his former wife.

One of the best things about cocaine is that it doesn't make you arrogant or weird.

What a lot of money! Amounting to rather over a $1 million a year, and that's before the unfortunate champion of womyns rights has even bought anything. Who knows, maybe CPL's going to recoup the loss with a staggeringly, not coke-fueled, win against Trump with his All Star client, Stormy.

She, by the way, ran for office as a Republican back in 2010. Here's Wikipedia:

In April 2010, Daniels finally declared herself a Republican candidate. Her decision was inspired by disclosures that the Republican National Committee (RNC) had paid expenses for fundraisers at a "lesbian bondage themed nightclub" in Los Angeles, stating that the revelations "finally tipped the scales".

I tell you, can't make this stuff up. Hunter Thompson's Generation of Swine was a couple of decades early and millions of dollars short. 

And who knows, maybe Stormy will make up the deficit by dancing in her declining years. Good luck to her.

I loved this place

CPL, on the other hand? Perhaps Satan's discarded its malfeasant toy.

Cheers,

LSP

TRUMP V. HORSEFACE CAGEMATCH

Current cagematch chanpion, the Grand Commander, Donald the Strong, has thrown down the gauntlet, threatening celebrity prostitute fighter, Stormy Horseface Daniels, that he'd "go after her."

“Great, now I can go after Horseface and her 3rd rate lawyer in the Great State of Texas,” tweeted the Grand Commander on social media. But the Prostitute wasn't far behind. "Game on, tiny," tweeted the famous pole dancer, after accusing the President of bestiality.

Justice For The Pimp!

The Commander's comments come after one of the Prostitute's lawsuits against the President was tossed out of court and the stripper's lawyer, Avenatti, was ordered to pay Trump's legal fees.

Game on, but who will win this white knuckle, seat of your pants fight to the last lawyer standing? For that matter, can CPL and the Prostitute even afford those fees; will this match be over before it's even begun?

Bets on!

LSP

Melania Mondays!

America's popular and glamorous First Lady got a boost from an unlikely source when none other than the notorious prostitute, Stormy Daniels, leaped to her defense.

"People should stop talking about her, maybe she’s happy," Stormy told the UK's Mirror newspaper, “Everything we say about her is a projection. Some people misplace sorrow and pity on another person.”

The celebrity adult entertainer was responding to attacks made on Melania by wacky, vicious and hated Omarosa, who claims in her book Unhinged that the First Lady is "counting every minute" until she can divorce the President.

In other news, Melania's getting ready to fly the flag in Africa, which she plans to visit in October. 

"This will be my first time traveling to Africa," said Melania in a statement, "and I am excited to educate myself on the issues facing children throughout the continent, while also learning about its rich culture and history."

Well done Melania for doing your part to make America great again.

MAGA,

LSP

Striper! No, Not Stormy

 

Fishing wisdom says there's not much point trying to catch fish mid-afternoon when the sun's high in the sky, it's roastingly hot at 106* and the fish are stunned into stasis by the heat. They just lay there, suspended in a kind of piscine daze, not biting. 

So don't bother fishing in these conditions, runs the wisdom, it's about as pointless as trying to get Anderson Cooper into conversion therapy.

Moral Arbiter

All this ran through my mind as I loaded up the rig and headed for water. Why am I doing this, I wondered. Because I had to get out and tilt my lance at fishing wisdom, I wanted to catch fish against the odds. 

A challenge, sort of thing. Not unlike trying to convince a Democrat that peace with Russia isn't treason, or even Pearl Harbor cubed.

A Perch

Whatever. By some miracle of modern technology I reached the lake without the truck melting into the asphalt and surveyed the scene. No one was there and who can blame them? They didn't want to be baked into an early Brennanlike senescence. 

Undaunted, I cast off with a split shot, small hook worm rig and was getting bites from the get-go, but couldn't close the deal. Small perch were obviously on the scene so I switched out the hook for something even smaller, miraculously the mono didn't ignite, and result, caught 5 perch.

Striper!

They weren't large and the last was perhaps the smallest. Put him to work! I thought, like Trump trying to cure our urban hellhole inner cities. Still, I wasn't counting on anything, it was the last cast. But what a cast. 

After a minute or two, the mouth-hooked perch seemed to get vigorous in the water and  I loosened the drag, instinctively. Good intuition because the line started playing out like fury, a fish was on as opposed to the perch playing around. So tighten it up, set the hook and reel it in.

Eye of the Beholder

And out came a voracious Striper who'd pretty much swallowed the perch whole. He went back to fight again another day and I went back to the Compound in the searing heat of the afternoon.

Reward. The Compound's Finally Getting Painted...

Moral of the story? Hungry Stripers, don't say Stormy,  will eat pretty much anything.

Tight lines,

LSP

War Drums Pounding

As Americans we must face the possibility that we have a criminally insane government in Washington that is leading the world to destruction. (Paul Craig Roberts)

Coming straight out of the pages of you-can't-make-this-s**t-up, the US and its allies are on the brink of war with Russia, with Trump twitter blasting at 5.57 am this morning:

Russia vows to shoot down any and all missiles fired at Syria. Get ready Russia, because they will be coming, nice and new and “smart!” You shouldn’t be partners with a Gas Killing Animal who kills his people and enjoys it!

To be fair, the President's warlike tweet followed on from a statement by Russia's ambassador to Lebanon, Alexander Zaspykin, to Hezbollah's al-Manar TV:

If there is a strike by the Americans, then we refer to the statements of President [Vladimir] Putin and the chief of staff that the missiles will be downed and even the sources from which the missiles were fired.

Why America's apparent rush to war? Because Assad reportedly used chemical weapons against men, women and children in Douma, days after Trump announced his intention to withdraw troops from Syria, and months after Russia warned of future false flag chemical attacks in the region.

Leaving aside the improbability of Assad threatening his own winning position in the Syrian civil war by provoking US escalation, the reliability of anti-Assad reports of chemical weapons use, and the US-admitted fact that these aren't confirmed, why is there a war in Syria in first place? 

Surely not because Saudi Arabia and Qatar wanted to put a pipeline through Syria to export liquid natural gas and petroleum to Europe and Assad stuck with Russia and said no.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't think Saudi Arabian interests and those of their bought and paid for puppets are worth another world war. Speaking of which, Trump has to win the prize for being the Worst. Russian. Puppet. Ever.

Stormy And Kibble

Except for Stormy Daniels, who functioned as a Kremlin sleeper agent for decades until Mueller's keen-eyed FBI sleuths raided the infamous Moscow double agent, Michael Cohen, and his law firm.

За здоровье!

LSP 

Melania Mondays!

Here at Melania Mondays! we're taking a break from weapons cleaning and the curious relationship between Jay Z and Marina Abramovic to bring you up to date on the life of America's popular and glamorous First Lady.

Melania doesn't take insults lightly, far from it, and took time off from visiting the Holocaust museum in DC to blast "salacious & flat-out false reporting" by the "fake news" media.

"BREAKING:The laundry list of salacious & flat-out false reporting about Mrs. Trump by tabloid publications & TV shows has seeped into 'main stream media' reporting," stated FLOTUS spokewoman, Stephanie Grisham, on Twitter, "She is focused on her family & role as FLOTUS - not the unrealistic scenarios being peddled daily by the 'fake news.'"

Despite massive popularity at home and abroad, Melania has been attacked in the media for being in an allegedly false marriage to a philandering husband. Stories of President Trump's supposed infidelity center on a porn star, Stormy Daniels.

In a legal statement, Stormy denied that she ever had sexual relations with Trump or received "hush money" from him. Stormy, real name Clifford, also denied that she was "greedy or an opportunist," causing observers to wonder if her recent stripper tour, "Make America Horny Again," is non-profit.

In the meanwhile, Melania's East Wing staff costs are more than 40% less than her unpopular predecessor's.  

Well done Melania for doing your part to make America great again.

MAGA,

LSP