Demons

 

Some ridiculous conspiracy theorists are speculating that demons, literal demons, are amongst us. How could they say such a thing? I mean, in the face of all the evidence.

But there they are, in full display

Demons. And yet you still vote for them. That makes you part of the problem. Look, here's America's top witch with a fiduciary necromancer:

Out Demons Out,

LSP

Team Joe

We all know Joe's the Democrat candidate to go up against 45. He's famous for saying transsexualism's the "greatest civil rights issue of our time," or something pretty much exactly that. As if Biden cared about trannies or anyone else. 

Ask yourself how much this 78 year old millionaire socialist is worth and how much he glommed up when he was Obama's VP. Whole lotta loot, right?

And he's just not there, so everyone's saying another candidate's going to sweep in out of leftfield, save the day and restore the fortunes of the Democrats in the face of Orange Man Bad. Will it be Hillary? Michelle? The demon from Michigan? Kamala Harris?

Who knows, maybe Xi himself will stand. Hey, not as if he doesn't have vested interest with Joe and his son Hunter. But whoever it is you can be sure of this. They will all be in favor of killing babies up to the point of birth and beyond, and in the name of healthcare, bizarrely.

That in mind, think of Marina Abramovic as cultural attache to the world, backed up by Arch Satan Cecile Richards. Coz nothing says women's rights louder than infanticide. Note, the Devil's always demanded sacrifice and the more innocent the better. But perhaps this is a dark reflection, somehow morbid. So I'll leave you with Corn Pops.

That's our Joe, no malarkey!

Your Old Pal,

LSP

How To Join The Hollywood Elite

I know, you've been wondering how you too can join the Millionaire Socialist, celebrity elite rulership of this NWO satrapy called "North America." It's not hard, just follow the infographic. Here it is.

Then think of all the money you'll have. While you're at it, look at Debra's eyes. Adrenachrome? Surely not, that's a myth, just like Marina Abramovic, Podesta, ritual occultism and the DNC. 

Millionaire socialist Debra Messing's net worth is a paltry $20 million. Imagine what Debra and her friends think of you, on your pathetic little salary.

Justified and ancient,

LSP

Beyonce Mass Better Than Clown Mass?

Pastor Jude Harmon of the Episcopal Church's Grace Cathedral, San Francisco, got more than he bargained for when he held a special Beyonce worship ritual at the famously LGBTQ church.

Within hours of the special service devoted to praising the popular singer, pundits were comparing the Beyonce ritual to a Clown Mass.

Jude Harmon, Left of Rainbow

"This is no better than a blasphemous Clown Mass," thundered one outraged Anglican clergyperson, who wishes to remain anonymous, "At least Clown Masses are honestly creepy, this isn't and that's scary." Others weren't so sure.

A Clown

"Clown Masses are deeply offensive," stated a senior member of the clergy, "Everyone knows that clowns at the altar are sinister and off-putting. Beyonce may be a member of the Illuminati along with her husband, Jay Z, but she's not repellently unattractive and frightening. Quite unlike a clown."

Several Baptist leaders were quick to point out that Beyonce's fertility goddess performance at the Grammys was idolatrous. At the star studded event, the pop diva superstar dressed up as the Virgin Mary and a Hindu deity, as opposed to a clown, leading some to accuse her of "immoral syncretism."

Beyonce

Unfazed by fierce criticism, Harmon defended his decision to host a Beyonce ritual instead of a Clown Mass at Grace Cathedral.

"I know there are people who will say using Beyoncé is just a cheap way of trying to get people in the church," Harmon said. "Jesus used very provocative images in the stories he would tell to incite people to ask hard questions about their own religious assumptions. He regularly provoked. We're following in the way of Jesus."

Beyonce And Abramovic, Third From Left

Grace Cathedral typically gets 50 people at its Wednesday evening Eucharist, as opposed to 900 for its Beyonce worship ritual. Known for rainbow riding diversity, Grace Cathedral's Pastor, Jude Harmon, opened last year's Pride "with a reflection and meditation on diversity, inclusiveness and religious tolerance."

Not The Virgin Mary

Beyonce was brought up a Methodist, the Episcopal Church was once Christian. Whether the Beyonce praise ceremony at Grace Cathedral, San Francisco, is better or worse than a Clown Mass is something for you to decide.

Don't be shy, be the judge,

LSP

Melania Mondays!

Here at Melania Mondays! we're taking a break from weapons cleaning and the curious relationship between Jay Z and Marina Abramovic to bring you up to date on the life of America's popular and glamorous First Lady.

Melania doesn't take insults lightly, far from it, and took time off from visiting the Holocaust museum in DC to blast "salacious & flat-out false reporting" by the "fake news" media.

"BREAKING:The laundry list of salacious & flat-out false reporting about Mrs. Trump by tabloid publications & TV shows has seeped into 'main stream media' reporting," stated FLOTUS spokewoman, Stephanie Grisham, on Twitter, "She is focused on her family & role as FLOTUS - not the unrealistic scenarios being peddled daily by the 'fake news.'"

Despite massive popularity at home and abroad, Melania has been attacked in the media for being in an allegedly false marriage to a philandering husband. Stories of President Trump's supposed infidelity center on a porn star, Stormy Daniels.

In a legal statement, Stormy denied that she ever had sexual relations with Trump or received "hush money" from him. Stormy, real name Clifford, also denied that she was "greedy or an opportunist," causing observers to wonder if her recent stripper tour, "Make America Horny Again," is non-profit.

In the meanwhile, Melania's East Wing staff costs are more than 40% less than her unpopular predecessor's.  

Well done Melania for doing your part to make America great again.

MAGA,

LSP

Hillary And The Devil, Pathetic At Patheos

Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, possessed by demons? All because flies keep landing on them and the former has an allegedly occult past and writes about wanting to stick pins in voodoo dolls? Ha, ha, how stupid, how very tin-foil and beneath serious thought. At least that's what Jason Mankey, a pagan writer at Patheos, thinks.

Apparently, Trump called Hillary the Devil during one of the presidential debates and Mankey takes exception to this. It "sounds like the regular bat-shit crazy off-the-cuff Donald Trump remarks we are all used to at this point," writes Mankey smugly, but not so fast. 

Trump, we're told, roll of the drums, is in league with the appallingly right wing Alex Jones, who's safely on the record accusing Hillary and Obama of being not only evil but also demon-possessed. Mankey, a self-described pagan priest with two "kinetic cats," goes so far as to quote the heinous Jones. Here's an excerpt.

Imagine how bad she smells, man? I’m told her and Obama, just stink, stink, stink, stink. You can’t wash that evil off, man. Told there’s a rotten smell around Hillary. I’m not kidding, people say, they say — folks, I’ve been told this by high up folks. They say listen, Obama and Hillary both smell like sulfur. I never said this because the media will go crazy with it, but I’ve talked to people that are in protective details, they’re scared of her. And they say listen, she’s a frickin’ demon and she stinks and so does Obama. I go, like what? Sulfur. They smell like Hell.

Disturbing, isn't it and the cat-owning pagan goes on to point out that there's a whole internet culture centered around Hillary Clinton's satanic aspect. How inane and indicative of the kind of sub-par, not to say crazy, mentality of Trump and Jones supporters. Mankey dismisses these with more than a hint of condescension, if not sulfur.

"Am I super cool with Hillary being called a witch? You bet!" gushes the enthusiastic pagan, "But I’m pretty sure she’s a Methodist." A Methodist who goes to voodoo rituals and seances, obviously. But here's the kicker.

Of course Jones and his ilk represent only a small portion of the electorate, but in many ways Trump has helped to legitimize this rather confused group of people. When he loses next month it won’t be the fault of Jesus or the electorate, it will be because of the demons that plague most Democratic candidates. It’s all absurd of course, but it might be something someone brings up at Thanksgiving dinner.

When he loses next month. Right, of course. Hillary losing? How absurd.

At what point does smug liberal condescension evolve into hubris? Or to put it another way, sorry, Mankey, your so-obvious-to-win candidate lost and lost hard, flies and all. 

Who knows, perhaps Satan discarded his toy.

Out, demons, out,

LSP

The Best Story You Never Heard In Your Life

Do you remember the bizarre narrative, read lie, that claimed Donald Trump and his associates were secretly in the employ of the Kremlin? That they were Russian spies, recruited by the chief of KAOS and SPECTRE, Putin himself.

You know, the same faked-up PR witch hunt spin that was put out by Hilary's handlers and their allies in the lying, corrupt, elite media without a shred of evidence. All for what? To save Hillary's losing face at the risk of another Cold War, and so what if the tactic wrecks the country's governance, it's worth it to make your enemy, the President, fail.

Well, you've all heard of karmic lashback and that seems to be on full supply right about now. Or, to put it another way, Boomerangski.

Who was it that supplied the phony Trump Dossier, apart from a British spy, and why were the notoriously criminal, blackmailing Awan brothers given top-level IT clearance at massively inflated rates, and allowed to stay on the job till the very last minute? Surely they didn't have any dirt on their Democrat Paymistress, Debbie Wasserman Shultz, and friends. 

Regardless, the bogus Kremlins fairytale is dying a natural death and its cheerleaders are sloping off into the dark like dogs trying to avoid a beating. But well done, Democrats, your skulduggery and malfeasance has served to destroy cooperation between Russia and America. Too bad, we could have worked together to destroy the Islamist savages.

So much for the peace dividend; saving the optics of Hillary's ignominious and well-deserved thrashing at the polls was apparently worth it for you, our inside-the-Beltway professional ruling class.

Rumors that top Democrats are Crowleyite ritual Satanists are entirely with foundation. And don't mention the pizza.

Of course the lying, corrupt media aren't reporting any of this, making it the best story you never heard in your life.

Stand by the JAMS,

LSP