Melania Mondays!

Here at Melania Mondays! we're taking a break from weapons cleaning and the curious relationship between Jay Z and Marina Abramovic to bring you up to date on the life of America's popular and glamorous First Lady.

Melania doesn't take insults lightly, far from it, and took time off from visiting the Holocaust museum in DC to blast "salacious & flat-out false reporting" by the "fake news" media.

"BREAKING:The laundry list of salacious & flat-out false reporting about Mrs. Trump by tabloid publications & TV shows has seeped into 'main stream media' reporting," stated FLOTUS spokewoman, Stephanie Grisham, on Twitter, "She is focused on her family & role as FLOTUS - not the unrealistic scenarios being peddled daily by the 'fake news.'"

Despite massive popularity at home and abroad, Melania has been attacked in the media for being in an allegedly false marriage to a philandering husband. Stories of President Trump's supposed infidelity center on a porn star, Stormy Daniels.

In a legal statement, Stormy denied that she ever had sexual relations with Trump or received "hush money" from him. Stormy, real name Clifford, also denied that she was "greedy or an opportunist," causing observers to wonder if her recent stripper tour, "Make America Horny Again," is non-profit.

In the meanwhile, Melania's East Wing staff costs are more than 40% less than her unpopular predecessor's.  

Well done Melania for doing your part to make America great again.

MAGA,

LSP

We Are Standing On The Edge

What, the edge of time? Of civil war and the Eschaton itself? No, just the edge of Walmart and the fields in this small slice of rural Texan paradise. But does the Golden Void speak to me? Not really but I won't deny it's not a bad place to be.

The rig's oil is refreshed, its engine will live again to fight another day, and all's well with the world as the sun sets over the fields on the outskirts of town.

Saying that, our lying, corrupt, pernicious, venal, smug, self-serving, mendacious, aggressive mainstream media have been busy accusing President Trump of being a Russian spy. Here's Alex Jones.

Make of it what you will but word to the wise, don't put up with being a serf dupe of the globalist New World Order and its Illuminati overlords. And remember, it's all a conspiracy until it isn't.

All best for Advent,

LSP

Real News

By way of celebrating President Trump's SCOTUS semi-victory, I figured I'd cook up some curry. Look, don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean the Compound's getting weak on Islamic terror or that we're about to observe Ramadan in the Missions. It's just a curry, a chicken curry, that's all it is.

A month or so ago I couldn't have managed it because the medico had removed the gnashers. Gone, like the Clinton candidacy itself, and it was reassuring to visit the dentist today and discover that everything was healing as it should. 

You see, what they've done is screw two screws into the lower jaw. These will become "implants." Sounds nasty, doesn't it, and I have to say, keep your teeth if you can. Still, a good result; such is the miracle of modern dentistry. 

In other news, I decided to hone my skills as a journalist by interviewing the Cadet. You can watch this incredible footage here. And note this, unlike CNN and the networks, it's not fake news.

Shoot, Fish, Ride,

LSP

Don't Be A Pathetic Lib, Fish

Now that the risible "Russians hacked the election" narrative is dying the death of a thousand failing PR spins, the team decided to go fishing. We'd tried Soldiers Bluff the day before and the young 'un did well with a good sized Hybrid but I struck out. Today would be different, I promised, at the dam spillway.

Sure enough it was. The water churned and foamed and we cast off with circle hooks and worms. A few minutes in and Boom! out came a decent Black Drum and we could see the Gar schooling off the current. Big excitement as the prehistoric looking river monsters circled and prowled like submarines in search of prey.

After a few false starts, as the fickle Gar took the bait, ran with it and then let go, I felt an encouraging tug on the line. That firmed up, the rod bent double and the fight was on; I thought I'd caught a Catfish but no, a big Bass broke the surface and tried to run downstream. Sorry fish, you're coming in and up came a decent sized Leviathan. Great result.

Then the Cadet started catching, Black Drum, and that's the main thing. You want kids to experience the action so that they get into the sport. Otherwise they'll be tempted to write it all off as a boring game of waiting for endlessly non-appearing evidence and give up. Or worse yet, be forced to retract the story altogether as a phony piece of CNN-style agitprop.

That wasn't the case today; it was fish on and thank you mighty Brazos for the opportunity.

Tight lines,

LSP

Lavrov Trolls Lying Media

Sergey Lavrov, Russia's Foreign Minister, has accused our lying, elite, corrupt, fake media of being no better than than the agitprop organs of the now defunct Soviet Union, Pravda and Isvestia.

Via Zerohedge and Russia Insider:

I sometimes get the impression that many US media outlets work according to a principle which was common in the Soviet Union. Back then people used to joke that the newspaper Pravda [Truth] had no truth in it, and the Izvestia [News] paper has no news in it. I get the impression that many US media operate in the same way.

Perhaps you remember the days when we prided ourselves on a free objective press and freedom of religion. To say nothing of a fair degree of liberty from the forceful appropriation of the benefits of our labor by an all powerful State.

How things have changed. Russia has a flat tax of what, 13%? And they're allowed to pray in state-run schools, unlike us. In the meanwhile, our once objective media runs unsourced Democratic Party hit pieces on the person who had the sheer, brazen temerity to beat central state globalist Hillary, and beat her hard. That would be Trump.

In other news, what's on Huma/Weiner's laptop? 

Your Old Buddy,

LSP

Impeach The Kremlins!

The corrupt, elite, lying, venal, mendacious mainstream media just won't let it go. They can't drop the holographic bone that is the phoney "Russians hacked the election!" pseudo-narrative. 

Now they're running like a mongrel on meth with another faked-up angle, that Trump gave state secrets to Sergei Lavrov because our President's really a Russian spy. So we have to impeach him before the evil the kremlins destroy our great democracy!

Russian strongman, Vladimir Putin, summed up this errant nonsense rather neatly. Here he is:

"I spoke to him (Lavrov) today, (and) I'll be forced to issue him (Lavrov) with a reprimand because he did not share these secrets with us. Not with me, nor with representatives of Russia's intelligence services. It was very bad of him."

Putin, who's a well known sportsman, continued:

"It's hard to imagine what else these people who generate such nonsense and rubbish can dream up next. What surprises me is that they are shaking up the domestic political situation using anti-Russian slogans. Either they don't understand the damage they're doing to their own country, in which case they are simply stupid, or they understand everything, in which case they are dangerous and corrupt."

 A Typical Putin-is-Cool Palace Scene

Dangerous and corrupt? Yes indeed. In the meanwhile, why isn't the media covering the 40k+ DNC emails that Seth Richards, who wasn't Russian, sent Wikileaks before he, ahem, was murdered committed suicide?

Your Old Friend,

LSP

Whining Crybaby Losers and Chelsea Manning

There were tears on the faces of some White House aides

Obama staffers aren't too happy about leaving their privileged White House positions and looking for work as bus boys, valets and call girls in the nation's wintry capital. Josh Lederman, writing for AP, describes the overwhelming sense of pathos and tear stricken tragedy.

In between closing out final projects and typing up reports on the work they've done, White House staffers are packing away their knickknacks, coffeemakers and photos. 

I reflected on Josh's mawkish drivel excellent article as I walked Blue Patriot through the leafy boulevards of Dallas. It seems the Democrat Losers are lost in an unending labyrinth of fear, anger, denial and grief. 

Vladimir Putin, on the other hand, has wasted no time in declaring Russian women of a certain kind "the best in the world." Speaking of women, Barack Obama has pardoned the curiously named Chelsea Manning.

Bradley

Leaving aside the rights and wrongs of Bradley Manning's treasonable activity and the suggestion that his pardon collapses the phony Russian hacking narrative, how is he a "woman"? 

Seriously, what makes Manning a woman? His mind?

Your Friend,

LSP

Putin Calls Dossier Creators Worse Than Prostitutes

Russian strongman Vladimir Putin has shown the world once again that he's a Boss, by calling out the creators of an attempted smear dossier on President Trump "worse than prostitutes."

Via ZeroHedge:

Unsubstantiated allegations made against Trump are “obvious fabrications,” Putin told reporters in the Kremlin on Tuesday. “People who order fakes of the type now circulating against the U.S. president-elect, who concoct them and use them in a political battle, are worse than prostitutes because they don’t have any moral boundaries at all,” he said.

The Russian president, cited by BBG, said that Trump wasn’t a politician when he visited Moscow in the past and Russian officials weren’t aware that he held any political ambitions.

Putin did not stop there and said that the compromising report compiled on Trump was a "hoax", and told reporters that "prostitution is an ugly social phenomenon," adding that people who stand behind "fabrications" being used against Trump "are worse than prostitutes."

The Russian leader also took aim at the outgoing Obama administration:

Putin noted that there is a category of people who leave without saying goodbye, "out of respect for the present situation," while others say goodbye all the time, but do not go away. "The outgoing administration, in my opinion, belongs to the second category," he said.

Question. Have any of you seen such drama, anger and turmoil in the transition of one administration to another?  I haven't and, for me, that signifies that Trump is doing something right to so furiously enrage our professional ruling caste.

Cheers,

LSP

March Of The Trolls

Well, well. It seems as though 4chan /pol has been trolling Buzzfeed, CNN and the CIA, and if that particular Pepe hasn't been perhaps another has. Whatever the case, the trolls march on. Sorry, Wojak, you lose.

A Muslim at Dhimwit St. Mary's

In other interesting news, St. Mary's Cathedral in Glasgow invited a Muslim to sing on the Feast of the Epiphany. Very interfaith and thank you very much, the only problem being that the Muslim in question sang a sura from the Koran about Jesus not being God.

Wojak Cries

I don't know how many people bother to go to St. Mary's, but I do know that their Facebook commentary on the event says this:

Go Figure Dhimwits

Good looking out, dhimwits.

LSP

So waddya do, so-called 'LSP', when you're not hanging with Putin on Snapchat, Lavrov on Instagram and Mad Dog Mattis on Twitter. Cleaning Glocks, ARs? Yeah, sure, all of that, but mostly I'm about tree Wrangling.

#MAGA

That means going to Home Depot, in the evil metrospawl, picking out a tree, putting the beast in the rig and driving it home.

#TrumpsAmerica

Then put it in the stand, have a glass of sherry and ponder the iniquity of the world. Next step, get some lights on the tree and consider the popular grassroots campaign to take Hagia Sophia back from the Turk.

Win The Firefight

Moment of glory over, hang some decs on the tree; clip-on birds are important. Stand back and look for fake news, cover the holes in the story with ornaments and consider it a job well done.

Regroup

In between the action, put lights up outside. And that, readers, is the story of that. 

Clip-on Birds Are key

Make America Great Again.

God bless,

LSP

Washington Fake News Post

All the world knows that the Washington Post has run a story claiming that Russia influenced the outcome of this year's election by providing WikiLeaks with thousands of hacked Democrat emails. 

This, apparently, is the finding of a "secret" CIA report and is presented to the public without a shred of evidence.

Leaving aside the risible Washington Post's journalistic credibility, which is on a par with CNN and the New York "got it wrong" Times, surely the story is this. What's in the emails?

The laughably Hillary boosting, fake news masquerading as as objective journalism, Post chooses not to cover the content and malfeasance contained in Hillary's inner circle emails. Instead, it attempts to derail Trump's historic landslide victory by throwing doubt on the validity of the election. 

More than that, the shamelessly shilling for Hillary Post does so at the risk of reigniting the Cold War, banging on the same war drum that was employed by the miserably losing Hillary campaign.

Really? You'll go so far as to risk a conflict with Russia in order to make the brazenly corrupt, self-serving, lying, criminal Hillary Clinton look good? As though that was even possible.

Sorry, Washington Fake News Post, the country voted against you and the multi-millionaire, globalist, bicoastal socialist elitocracy, and it said no to the bizarrely corrupt   Hillary Rodham Clinton. You lost and you lost hard.

Get used to it.

LSP

Scorn Megyn Kelly

Megynne Kelly, who's angling for a $20 million contract and hedged her bets on a Trump lose, has published a memoir, Settle For More. Go figure.

Megynne's cash getting drivel has been slated by reviewers on Amazon. Here's a sample.

In a fit of free speech, Amazon removed many of the reviews. Megynne, who was once popular and attractive, has become ugly and is now scorned by ordinary Americans everywhere.

Who knows, perhaps the multi-millionaire celebrity journalist will find a slot with Jeff "I'm Not Corrupt" Zucker's despised CNN.

And maybe Hillary won the election.

Megyn, we scorn you.

LSP