Teeth

I know, you're thinking this is a post about the exotic Tooth Djinn, Huma Abedin, whose hopes for power were shattered by the repellent Weiner. 

Then again, maybe you think it's about Huma's special friend, the Old Crone, who was renowned for her fine teeth before she found herself "lost in the woods."

Or perhaps you're thinking it's about Joe "Trans" Biden, whose prize winning teeth were thwarted of presidential ambition when their billionaire backer, Prince Wally, got himself thrown in the Ritz slammer thanks to the Magic Kingdom's recent night of long knives.

 Good call, vast international readership but not so fast. Because this well known mind blog isn't remotely narcissistic, the teeth in question belong to me, kind of. It started back in January when I pulled myself together and marched into a catastrophically expensive dentist.

"Holy Horseman," he announced like a cowboy, "I'm gonna have to weld those sonsabitches together in case you sneeze and blow your teeth all over the cabin of that plane to London!" He did, and I managed a trip to England without losing the all important front runners. They stood firm, like our brave men at Waterloo or Jackson at Bull Run.

Once back in the Lone Star State, I dodged the Maseratis to get into the dental clinic. "Why howdy! They all gotta go," was the cheerful verdict and damning xray evidence backed it up. There was all kinds of infection lurking around the sturdy jawline. And that's bad because it can mysteriously navigate down to the heart and kill you, stone dead.

So out came the few remaining ivories, in went a couple of implants and on popped a set of falsies and a couple of bottles of synthetic opium. Opioids, they call it and apparently they're a scourge. Just see the video page of this blog and you'll see, QED.

Since then, life has been mostly about driving to Dallas to get the teeth seen to and today was no exception. You see, readers, getting bionic teeth replacement may sound like a walk in the park but it isn't. Still, thanks to the Diocese of Fort Worth it's possible. Thank you, Bishop Iker, 100%.

I file this story under "teeth in rural and not so rural Texas."

God bless,

LSP

Real News

By way of celebrating President Trump's SCOTUS semi-victory, I figured I'd cook up some curry. Look, don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean the Compound's getting weak on Islamic terror or that we're about to observe Ramadan in the Missions. It's just a curry, a chicken curry, that's all it is.

A month or so ago I couldn't have managed it because the medico had removed the gnashers. Gone, like the Clinton candidacy itself, and it was reassuring to visit the dentist today and discover that everything was healing as it should. 

You see, what they've done is screw two screws into the lower jaw. These will become "implants." Sounds nasty, doesn't it, and I have to say, keep your teeth if you can. Still, a good result; such is the miracle of modern dentistry. 

In other news, I decided to hone my skills as a journalist by interviewing the Cadet. You can watch this incredible footage here. And note this, unlike CNN and the networks, it's not fake news.

Shoot, Fish, Ride,

LSP

Dental D Day

Today was D Day, dental D Day. As LL reminds me, don't put it off, take the war to the enemy, in this case, my teeth. So I drove across Dallas to get the malefactors pulled. 

Unlike the real D Day, this operation didn't hurt, and nobody got killed. In fact it seemed like a lot less hassle than a root canal, and there I was, 2 implants and a set of falsies later, ready to get back in the fight.

You know, the kind of fight that doesn't involve speaking, eating or anything much to do with your mouth. But hey, it had to be done otherwise tooth poison was going to get to the heart and bring this endeavor to an untimely end. To say nothing of the ultimate benefit of a functional mouth.

In other news, the tyranny of Blogger is about to be broken with big thanks to HS who's kindly arranged hosting and development for lonestarparson.com. It's "live" so feel free to have a look, but bear in mind it's "under development." 

God bless,

LSP