Back In Dallas

 

At Dallas HQ on a pre-Christmas mission. Part of that involved going to Hunky's in Bishop Arts for excellent burgers. Seriously, they do a good job and you should go, but beware, it's not easy to find parking and you might have  deal with the Bat Woman muriel.

Rando Revolver

Huh, since when did Bat Woman free Palestine? Last year she was standing with Ukraine and the year before she was trusting the science, wearing a mask and getting vaxxed. Like no kidding, zhe's a right social trend barometer.

Genuinely Good Burger

Delicious burgers complete, we drove around the neighborhood, looking in awe at new apartment blocks going up in what was once shacktown ghetto. Smart people snapped those shacks up and guess what, now they're worth lots. 

A Wooden Tree With Glass

We balked at that investment opportunity, oh well, but did manage to set up a tree which glistens in the living room. Nice. In other news, the Pope's gone gay but not as gay as the Church of England, and the Senate's apparently some kind of bath house. And people are fleeing Democrat cities because Climate Change. But of course they are.

Cheers,

LSP

Tree Hugger

 

It was all about getting close to trees today and we found one at Lowes, a modest little beast but well formed for all that. Next up, get it trimmed by a friendly face tattooed shave head Latinx and chuck it in the bed of the rig. Thank God it's a long bed.

Note Pewter Candleabra (what? Ed.)

Once home, set that tree up in its stand and behold the regimental posture of the thing. Straight. Put lights on it and an angel, recall your dad sweating over lights on Christmas Eve and think how much easier life has become. Yes, we can get Christmas lights from any dollar store, no need to sweat it.

Tree

Then put some ornaments on the tree, there's lots and this little fella won't take them all, still, not bad for all that. Mission accomplished, behold your work and scorn the NWO. Globalist excrescence aside, do you remember when we didn't decorate our trees till right before Christmas? I do, and there's a beauty in that. Mind you, must've been stressful for the Paterfamilias. 

El Senor

In other news, a gang of multimillionaire socialists got frozen to Munich's tarmac in their private jets on the way to a climate enrichment scam. Oops, the world's getting hotter which is why it's colder, so give us all your money or we won't be able to chip all this ice away from our jets.

Honorary Colonel DLC

On topic, have you noticed how our green leaders bay for moar war? Sure you have, because, you know, it's so good for the environment. Just ask Raytheon or Lloyd "Totally Not A Diversity Hire" Austin. Whatever, the tree is up and that's grand.

Cheers,

LSP

Putting Up Christmas

 

Here we are in Dallas, putting up Christmas and it's pretty minimal this year, maybe less is more. But I tell you this, more was more when it came to this morning's storm. Thunder and crashing sheets of rain, all hail Texas and the Eschaton.

Next step? Marvel at the speed at which the storm passed by, someone must've paid their tax, and find yourself at Lowe's in search of a tree. We found one, a smallish one, took it back home and set it up.  Nice.

In other news, SBF's been arrested, the freakish nuclear power guy's been fired and drag queens are invited to the White House to celebrate the, ahem, Defense of Marriage act. Like, what? 

Are we at peak degeneracy and is this a function of being people of the lie? A people so invested in deceit that anything else becomes unbearable or to cut to the chase, have we been driven insane by Satan.

Your call and in the meanwhile we get get ready to celebrate the birth of the Savior.

God bless,

LSP

Tree Wrangling

In the olden days, which I can just remember, you didn't decorate your tree until Christmas Eve but that's changed now. We went looking for trees in Dallas on Monday with a view to getting the job done. 

First stop? Lowes, and I'll be honest, their selection was rubbish. Home Depot was better and we found a tree without too much hassle; a bit on the small side but it'd do. 

Small!

Back at HQ the tree went obediently into its stand and there it was, a Christmas tree in a stand, looking annoyingly short. "I have to say, it looks a bit dam short," I told Ma LSP, who suggested we raise it on some kind of platform. But we didn't, the Angel would make it taller perhaps.

Angel

It helped, along with lights and ornaments which glittered and gleamed like Christmas is supposed to do. Blue ADC did his bit to help, which mostly involved sleeping at guard and that seemed homely and somehow reassuring. 

All Lit Up

Dog and Christmas tree, sort of thing. A few hours later the tree seemed pretty much there, so we moved outside and lit up the front.

Getting There

Good work and well done, team, you've put up Christmas or most of it anyway. Mission accomplished, we fell back to the kitchen and celebrated the victory. For Blue Voracious that meant treats, well deserved. 

And that readers, all six of you, is the story of that. If you're a Puritan you'll disapprove because you think Christmas, when we celebrate the birth of Christ, is pagan, popish idolatry. Long story short, no, it isn't.

God bless,

LSP

So waddya do, so-called 'LSP', when you're not hanging with Putin on Snapchat, Lavrov on Instagram and Mad Dog Mattis on Twitter. Cleaning Glocks, ARs? Yeah, sure, all of that, but mostly I'm about tree Wrangling.

#MAGA

That means going to Home Depot, in the evil metrospawl, picking out a tree, putting the beast in the rig and driving it home.

#TrumpsAmerica

Then put it in the stand, have a glass of sherry and ponder the iniquity of the world. Next step, get some lights on the tree and consider the popular grassroots campaign to take Hagia Sophia back from the Turk.

Win The Firefight

Moment of glory over, hang some decs on the tree; clip-on birds are important. Stand back and look for fake news, cover the holes in the story with ornaments and consider it a job well done.

Regroup

In between the action, put lights up outside. And that, readers, is the story of that. 

Clip-on Birds Are key

Make America Great Again.

God bless,

LSP

It's Bushcraft Wednesday!

The thing about bushcraft is it's all about living and surviving in the wild, in the "bush," and doing it yourself instead of relying on nanny state or the nearest supermarket to sort it out for you. That applies to Christmas, and Hickok45 has given us a helpful video to show how it's done.

Notice how everyone's favorite outdoorsman uses the right tool for the job.

LSP

Dog

I wasn't looking for a dog. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a comsymp dog-hater, I just wasn't looking to get one. But Blue Eschaton thought otherwise. He turned up on the porch and didn't leave; I fed him, perhaps that helped.

The rest is history. I doctored him up and took him to the range, where he hasn't died yet, despite jumping up to catch the bullets. And now he's here; some think he's making his way to Californy, others think he's staying in Texas, where it's safe.

One thing's for sure. Blue Apocalypse loves Christmas, no doubt about it. He even snarls at people who say "Happy Holidays."

I like all of this.

LSP