A call, urgent, "This is crazy. They're buying all the toilet paper, you would say 'loo roll' or 'Andrex' but it's the same, and the shelves are empty. Send money. They're goddam tasering people."
"Hey, use backyard snow, it's safer. Who knows where that stuff was even made. Stand by for transfer."
All Means All
Thirty minutes later, cold, hard cash was on its way to loo roll stricken Calgary via ones and zeros, Walmart to World digital. Business over, I checked out the store.
A Doomed Fool is Saved. By a Hero?
Plenty of bathroom tissue on the shelves, and I bought some, now there's less. But what about rice? Lots left, boil it first.
Plenty of Loo Roll, in Texas
Over at the Pick 'n Steal the radio was on and playing a warning, "Wash your hands, we have this well contained. Do not panic." Maria was rattled, nervous, "I'm trying to sell these things and listen to, you know, this. They're shutting down schools and everything."
You Can Indict a Ham Sandwich
Maybe we should've shut the border with Communist, Godless China long ago. Maybe we should never have opened that border in the first place, and allowed the Bolsheviks to stew and ferment in their own version of hell masquerading as heaven. But no, smart people had to make money.
As ye reap, friends, so shall ye sow. Hope you're all prepped up and ready to bug-in before the shelves empty.
Cheers,
LSP
