Say Hello To Your Next President

 

Think things are bad with the Old Crook in charge?

Think again, punters.

This is barreling down the pike, right at you. 

So what are you gonna do when zhe gets anointed by Trans Green Carbon Tax Power to become our new Beloved President? There is but one answer, serfs, rejoice.

LSP

BREATH TAX

 

Tax That Terrorism

Everyone knows we're in a war, a bitter war, a vicious war, a no-holds-barred war against a ruthless enemy, the Weather. You see, what happens is this. Thanks to man-made Carbon Dioxide (CO2) emissions, fragile planet earth is shrouded in CO2 and heats up like a greenhouse, which melts the glaciers and floods Vanatu and Martha's Vineyard. Disaster.

So Not Satanic

Polar bears die, sad, and multi-million dollar mansions get washed away in the flood of rising sea water, tragic. Awful, and it's all down to Carbon Dioxide being spewed out by us, humans. So to save the planet we must stamp out Carbon Dioxide. Yes, you may even have heard the slogan, NET ZERO. That means no more. Absolutely zero CO2. The venerable if shrinking Church of England's all in favor of this, obviously, but here's the thing.

Note Bear

Humans produce CO2, Carbon Dioxide, it's a function of breathing, and accounts for 0.1% of the UK's Gaia destroying carbon emissions says the Sceptered Isle's Daily Mail. This is a problem, to put it mildly. Here at the Compound we propose a solution, tax the air. Here's a song:

On topic, don't you think?

LSP

Bear Attacks Surge In Japan

 

2023 is a record year for bear attacks in Japan, that fabled land of the rising sun. Yes, some 203 persyns have been attacked by the furry beasts this years alone, a record. According to CNN via Breitbart, the hungry bears are looking for acorns and find tasty human flesh instead:

“The thing is that you can have years of bad harvests and years of good harvest of acorns,” contends Maki Yamamoto of Nagaoka University of Technology. “And when the harvest is bad, the bears cannot store enough energy before hibernation by eating mountain acorns alone, so they get closer to human settlements looking for fruits, chestnuts, persimmons, walnuts, and farm products in general.”

So why the sudden uptick in ursine attack? Climate Change, obviously, which is why we all need to be taxed moar or we'll get eaten by bears.

Cheers,

LSP

Climate Change

 

Here's the thing, the land of the ice and snow was more like the land of t shirt and shorts for most of the past week. Obviously someone remembered to pay their carbon tax, and then they didn't. Yesterday dawned grey and chill, with the cold seeping into your Arctyrx fleece as a harbinger of things to come, Winter.

the climate has changed

So I took the young 'un out for an enormous burger at the Inglewood Diner, tasty, and prophesied, "Son, it feels like snow." He agreed, and sure enough that's exactly what happened. A biting wind kicked in at around 6 pm and white supremacy fell from the sky, indifferent to the fate of the oppressed.

random Canadian fridge magnet

"Look, Dad," exclaimed Junior LSP, "A winter wonderland!" And so it was, "Welcome to Narnia, Son." We spent the rest of the evening watching John Wick movies along with superlative Chinese food ordered up from Chinatown. Big fun.

brrrrr

Today dawned clear, crisp and bright, beautiful. Climate Change, you see, has its benefits and to celebrate this I shoveled the sidewalk and scraped ice off the car. Then SL's rig pulled up from High River and off we went to the airport, mission accomplished.

Stay Frosty,

LSP

Global Warming Is True!

Global Warming or Climate Change is true, say weather experts, causing ice caps to melt and polar bears to die as rising sea levels threaten the existence of humanity and the bears' natural habitat.

One starving bear was filmed by conservation group, Sea Legacy, near Canada's Baffin island.

“We hear from scientists that in the next 100 to 150 years, we’re going to lose polar bears,” Mittermeier [SeaLegacy co-founder Cristina Mittermeier ] said.

“We wanted the world to see what starvation of a majestic animal like this looks like.”

But it's not just the majestic polar bear that's facing extinction thanks to the tragedy of man-made Global Warming, the existence of humanity is also at stake. 

Rising sea levels caused by melting arctic ice will flood cities, such as New York, Vancouver and San Francisco, while whole states, like Maine and Delaware, will sink beneath the waves of the sea.

With their keen instinct for survival, white wolf populations have been moving to high ground in Arizona, where they will be safe above the waters of the flood and ideally situated to prey on fleeing animals.

Climate Change is caused by industrial carbon emissions, which trap heat in the earth's atmosphere in a greenhouse effect, as well as blocking warmth from the sun, leading to a new ice age.

To stave off this impending ecological and human catastrophe, Western governments have proposed a carbon tax on polluting industry. 

Here at the compound we suggest you do your part to save the planet by sponsoring a polar bear today. Donate directly to WWF.

Al Gore, net worth $300 million, is not our leader.

Gaia,

LSP

This is Texas

Yes, Texas in August, where the temperatures rarely raise above the mid 80s and it rains constantly. Not what you expected, eh? No, and neither did we. What does this mean?

Well, obviously, that everyone's wet. Not politically, don't worry, no one's turning into a progleft shill for the New World Order! On the contrary, here on the compounds we're standing tall against all of that. But we do so in the deluge and some say this signifies a victory in the War on Weather, because it's colder.

Wrong. It's a defeat. Climate logic says that the warmer it is the colder it gets, and it's colder here than it should be, so we're obviously making the climate warmer. Settled science. Texans obviously need to pay more climate taxes, then they'll be warmer and richer.

She's no Hater, She's the Attorney General

In similar news, Dallas has said no to Obama's transgenderist school bathroom policy. This means that boys who think they're girls can't use girls bathrooms and vice versa. Does oppression know no bounds?

In the wake of the flood,

LSP

Storms Rock Texas

We were warned by our Commander-in-Chief, yes, warned, but took no heed. Texas refused to pay its carbon tax and play its part in the life and death War on Weather. Complacency slipped in, and this is the result.

The Commander

Thunder, lightning, incessant, relentless rain and fierce winds, all combining to make this the storm of the century. 31 counties have been declared disaster zones by Governor Greg Abbott and still the water continues to rise.

The Bricks

Rain is set to fall all week, bringing not only record breaking floods but also a plague of snakes, insects and floating trash.

The Road

Here, in this small farming community, we watch from high ground and the roofs of our homes as the rain pounds down, and stand ready, razor sharp kukris in hand and shotguns chambered, for the snakes.

The Dam

Lake Whitney dam holds, for now.

LSP

The Mighty Brazos Crests at 54 Feet

The Brazos river crested today at a record breaking 54 feet, leaving homes in the Houston area flooded and whole neighborhoods surrounded by a swirling dystopia of snakes and suchlike waterborne trash. 

Typical Houston Street Scene

What caused this aquatic catastrophe? Failure to pay a carbon tax to our globalist elite overlords; refusal to ride the rainbow and turn the state's schools into a rainbow-riding, trans free for all? Or maybe divine displeasure at Houston's Pink Stasi Mayor?

A Proper Little Fighter

I drove to the Brazos to find out. It was in full flood and I cast off into the torrent via the rain. Three Hybrids and one small Widemouth later, I still wasn't any closer to winning the War on Weather but I was holding my own against the fish.

Shoot The Monkey

In related news, a monkey threatened to kill a child at a zoo and was shot. Some people are calling this "murder." Those people are clearly insane.

Your Friend,

LSP

The Storm Continues

Everything on the deck went flying off, there was a refrigerator 
that went flying by.

There's a storm brewing, in fact it's already here, and I'm not talking about the popular insurgency against our self-serving, crony millionaire, NWO ruling elites and their puppet stooges in academia and the media. 

Green

No, I'm talking about the weather in Texas, where it's been raining with a kind of tornadolike intensity which has made everything green. Not carbon tax, fill the coffers of bloated government green, but real green, as in grass. That's rare here.

Under Water

It's also put everything underwater, and not just the economy! That may be submerged under trillions of dollars of bad debt, thanks to our economic genius overlords, but so too is my back yard. It's flooded.

A Typical Mitt Mask

As I write this, loud thunder fills the air and I don't think it's coming from Rat Hands Rubio's campaign, or from his Master, "Mitt" Romney.

Perhaps it's the thunder of dotcom millionaire private jets, on their feverish way to stop the storm. Or maybe it's just the weather, which we're in a war with.

Don't get washed away,

LSP

The Right Gun For The War on Weather

Here at Team LSP we like to think of ourselves as solutions providers, a one-stop-resource-shop, ranging from theology to weaponry. That's why we went to a noted defense systems consultant, asking for his advice on the best gun to take to the War on Weather.

A Unicorn on a Rainbow, With Clouds

Our search parameters weren't easy. The weapon had to pack enough power to take down a cloud, but be accurate enough to shoot a sunbeam, or knock a unicorn off a rainbow. Not easy, you'll admit, but whoever said life would be?

MacMillan TAC 50 Bolt Variant

Fortunately for all of us, there's a solution. A .50 BMG precision rifle, supported by the Tracking Point aiming system.

Guiding it's projectile unerringly onto target, the Tracking Point assisted rifle is capable of neutralizing the most elusive threats the Weather has to offer, and because of pinpoint accuracy, it can do so with minimum collateral damage. And make no mistake, the mighty .50 has plenty of punch.

Girls Love .50s

There you have it. Problem? Solution, which is what we're all about, here at the Compound, helping you to win the firefight against our common enemy. 

Tracking Point sighting systems don't come cheap, but neither does war, on the Weather.

Semper Ubique,

LSP

El Nino Calls Out ISIS

Notorious weather bandit and cartel kingpin, El Nino, has threatened ISIS leader, Al Baghdadi, after ISIS interfered with a drug shipment.

“You [ISIS] are not soldiers. You are nothing but lowly p*ssies. Your god cannot save you from the true terror that my men will levy at you if you continue to impact my operation."

Al Baghdadi

“My men will destroy you. The world is not yours to dictate. I pity the next son of a wh*re that tries to interfere with the business of the Sinaloa Cartel. I will have their heart and tongue torn from them.” El Nino said in an email, cartelblog.com reported.

El Nino is on the run, after escaping from a maximum security prison in Mexico, and is popularly known as "Shorty."

It seems a new front has opened in the war on ISIS, but who will win? Shorty, or Baghdadi?

The bets are on,

LSP

Tropical Storm Bill 2015

The War on Weather took a savage new twist, as Tropical Storm Bill blew into North Central Texas from the Gulf.  As much as 12" of rain are predicted to fall today on several already waterlogged communities in the Lone Star State, threatening to overwhelm local infrastructure  and the renowned Alamo spirit of the population.

Storm Chaser

Here in Hill County, situated between Dallas and Waco on what some call the "I35 corridor of desolation," resources are at breaking point, as streets flood and high winds rip through once prosperous farming communities.

Ruin

"If only we'd have gone and paid the Carbon Tax!" stated one devastated resident, as she surveyed her home, "I thought climate disruption was just a money grabbing scam, cooked up by New World Order shills in Big Government, and their transnational Illuminati puppet masters. Now everything I left outside is wet, because of rain. This is a war."

Typical Texas Storm

Will the Brazos overflow its banks and turn Waco into Little Venice? Will Dallas become a city of islands, clinging to high ground as the waters rise? Or will Texas finally come to its senses and confront the greatest threat this nation has ever faced, The Weather, and pay the tax.

Prepared. Note Fishing Rods

This, as with Bill itself, remains to be seen.

From the eye of the storm,

LSP

Climate Change

It started out like any other day in Texas, with freezing fog and snow falling heavily from the sky. Like Donetsk, or Kharkov, or something.

Blue Exuberance liked that and had fun romping about in the snow. I took him for a walk and he tried to attack a mail truck. He hates mail trucks.

Then the Climate Changed and it became warmer. But I'm confused; I thought it was colder because it was warmer, thanks to all the CO2 in the atmosphere and not enough carbon taxation. So if it's warmer, then it must be colder, right?

So how come the snow's melting? 

LSP