Showing posts with label Harambe the monkey. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Harambe the monkey. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

The Mighty Brazos Crests at 54 Feet



The Brazos river crested today at a record breaking 54 feet, leaving homes in the Houston area flooded and whole neighborhoods surrounded by a swirling dystopia of snakes and suchlike waterborne trash. 


Typical Houston Street Scene

What caused this aquatic catastrophe? Failure to pay a carbon tax to our globalist elite overlords; refusal to ride the rainbow and turn the state's schools into a rainbow-riding, trans free for all? Or maybe divine displeasure at Houston's Pink Stasi Mayor?


A Proper Little Fighter

I drove to the Brazos to find out. It was in full flood and I cast off into the torrent via the rain. Three Hybrids and one small Widemouth later, I still wasn't any closer to winning the War on Weather but I was holding my own against the fish.


Shoot The Monkey

In related news, a monkey threatened to kill a child at a zoo and was shot. Some people are calling this "murder." Those people are clearly insane.

Your Friend,

LSP