I'm Headin' to Calgary

It's that time of year when I go North, to Calgary, and the land of the ice and snow. Unfortunately that means having to endure the nightmare of modern air travel, which is like taking a bus from Gloucester to Tunbridge Wells in the '80s.

But whoever said life would be easy? I remember no such promise, but I do remember that our elite rulers told us we're in a War on Weather.

There were tornadoes in Dallas yesterday. I guess that means we're losing that particular war; well done, team.

God bless,

LSP

Another Day in The War on Weather

It's another typically cold, rainy day in Texas, and smart citizens are staying inside by the fire, cleaning guns, loading magazines and turning Thanksgiving leftovers into pies. 

It was hot here, once, but that was before El Nino broke loose and started his current reign of weather extremism. 

El Nino

Thank the "higher power" that our Commander-in-Chief takes the War on Weather seriously. He's taking some time off from watching reruns of the Danish Girl and Transparency to meet with world leaders in Paris next week, where they'll work on a strategy to defeat The Weather. 

Must. Raise. More. Money. To Beat The Weather

It'll be a veritable War Cabinet against the enemy that threatens us all with destruction. And maybe our War Leaders will manage to tax the Weather into submission, which will make the atmosphere colder, which will turn Texas hot again.

We live and hope.

LSP

El Nino Escapes

The War on Weather took a serious turn for the worse with the dramatic escape of El Nino, a renowned weather kingpin.

El Nino's jailbreak has brought a surge of humid, wet and stormy weather to the once arid state of Texas, causing local residents to suggest taking matters into their own hands.

"El Nino's loose and wrecking everything," said one angry Texan, "The Government isn't doing anything about it, but I've got guns and there's only one of it. We're fixing to shoot it."

In related news, the oil giant, Exxon, is being investigated by New York's Attorney General for climate crime, and traitorously giving aid to our enemy, The Weather.

That wouldn't have anything to do with the company's partnership with Rosneft, or it's stunning failure to sponsor the Clinton Foundation. And the Benghazi massacre was caused by a video that no-one had ever seen.

El Nino is still at large.

LSP