The War on Weather took a serious turn for the worse with the dramatic escape of El Nino, a renowned weather kingpin.
El Nino's jailbreak has brought a surge of humid, wet and stormy weather to the once arid state of Texas, causing local residents to suggest taking matters into their own hands.
"El Nino's loose and wrecking everything," said one angry Texan, "The Government isn't doing anything about it, but I've got guns and there's only one of it. We're fixing to shoot it."
In related news, the oil giant, Exxon, is being investigated by New York's Attorney General for climate crime, and traitorously giving aid to our enemy, The Weather.
That wouldn't have anything to do with the company's partnership with Rosneft, or it's stunning failure to sponsor the Clinton Foundation. And the Benghazi massacre was caused by a video that no-one had ever seen.
El Nino is still at large.
LSP
