Friday, November 27, 2015

Archbishop Justin Welby Thrown Out of Detroit Pawn Shop

Justin Welby, Archbishop of Canterbury, was thrown out of a pawn shop on Detroit's famous 8 Mile Road.

"This guy came in here claiming to be an 'Archbishop' and trying to sell me a miter with all these fish on it," said pawn shop owner, Les Rich, "I offered him five bucks and he went off on me, insulting Detroit. We had to kick him out, like all the other riff-raff. Don't mess with this great city, that's what I told him."

Detroit Street Scene

Trying to pawn his archiepiscopal regalia is a new low for Welby, who was recently photographed brawling over a flatscreen T.V. at a Michigan mall, on Black Friday.

Hands Off The Flatscreen, Justin.

Reports that Welby was seen hustling for spare change outside of Cobo Hall have not been confirmed by Lambeth Palace.



LL said...

There's an ugly rumor that he's been looking for hubcaps to steal in Detroit. Of course, they've all been stolen - long ago. As one local told the police, who are searching for His Majesty (or whatever he's called), "Yo da archbishop don' know how ta jack `64 parts. Some hood rat need ta train that dumb mofucker sho 'nuff if you axe me!

LSP said...

I'd be pretty surprised if Justin didn't end up carjacking and holding up gas stations. Gotta make ends meet.