Showing posts with label Detroit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Detroit. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 1, 2020

Detroit's Coming Back!


Whoa. Such systemic racism in the Motorcity. I tell you, "it's coming back!" Said no one ever except various buffoons and mountebanks.

Your Pal,

LSP

Tuesday, December 10, 2019

Yuletide Street Art



Here at the Compound we like to think of ourselves as patrons of the Arts, which is why we're delighted to showcase this new installation, "Yuletide."




"It's like a dream I had, of Detroit," gushed one visitor to the gallery, "That I'm lost somewhere scary with junkies, hookers, winos and burning oil drums."




What a terrifying dream!

Mirabile,

LSP

Tuesday, January 8, 2019

Build The Walls!



Yes, walls, plural. Everyone knows that a big wall on the southern border makes sense, unless you're a human trafficker, drug runner, cartel kingpin or vote hungry Democrat. But what about the threat from the North?


A Typical Northern Workers Paradise

That's right, the horde of northerners fleeing failed socialist utopias like Illinois and New Jersey or the workers paradise hell holes of cities like Baltimore and Detroit. Where are these refugees heading, to what haven? The South, of course, and who can blame them.


We Need Two Walls

Problem being, the refugees take their ideology with them, they still fly the rainbow hammer and sickle flags of their homeland. They are a threat to the Southland. This means another wall has to be built, a strong, high and beautiful wall, a wall along the Mason-Dixon line. 


Artist's Impression of Wall Amusement Park Tourist Destination

Who will pay for the wall? The booming economies of the South, and once built it'll pay for itself. Tourism, hotels, restaurants, fun parks, exotic hunting preserves, sporting clubs and more; this northern wall, like it's southern sister, will be a revenue center, handsomely rewarding farsighted initial investment. And the refugees?


A Beautiful Golden Wall!

They can return home and rebuild their shattered states or be funneled into Colorado. I know, some readers of this popular mind blog might object to the latter option so let's stick with the first.Then there's the "California Question."

That too must be addressed.

All for Dixie,

LSP

Sunday, March 11, 2018

Detroit Comeback?



"That's not the Philippines that's Detroit you idiot," Spoiler 216

Are you in the music industry? It was 1997 and I was in a cab, fresh out of London and heading to the Town Pump in what passed for downtown Detroit. It was a neat evening and, long story short, I moved. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

But what a culture shock, London to Detroit. It's hard to describe even now and it was harder then. Miles of abandoned or half abandoned city blocks, criss crossed by highways and an unrelenting ghetto of decaying, abandoned, burned out, crack den dystopia. And I didn't see the half of all 138 square miles of it.




Is there anything like it in England? I don't think so and feel that friends in the Old Country thought my email reports were tall tales. No, they weren't. Then again, no city in England has lost a million plus inhabitants in the last 50 years and gone from being the automotive capital of the world to... not. So you can excuse incomprehension.




Fast forward to today. I visit the onetime Motor City when I can and always have fun; it's good to see the city's downtown and immediate neighborhoods looking less blighted and no wonder. The burned out crack houses have fallen down and reverted to nature, leaving what was once a city open to agrarian white hipsterdom. Hey, go for it kids. And the result?




A small island of central civility in the increasingly empty shell of a once major city. Not dissimilar, when you think of it, to ancient Rome following the breakdown of western imperial authority. But will America's Motor City grow wings and fly again? 



Sometimes a song is worth a thousand words.

Your Old Friend,

LSP

Monday, July 24, 2017

Detroit's Best Ad Ever!



Dan Gilbert, multibillionaire owner of Bedrock Detroit is committed to revitalizing America's erstwhile automotive powerhouse, which is why he ran this incredible ad. It's Dan's vision for the future Motor City. 

Now, look carefully at the demographics in Dan's ad and think hard about Detroit.




Can you spot the problem? Or is it a solution? While you run the numbers on Dan's vision, here's Mayor Kwame.




He's in jail now and Dan's incredible ad has been taken down.

Good luck, Detroit.

Your friend,

LSP

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Russians Hack Church of England?



Shocking new evidence appears to show the small but aggressively transsexual Church of England disappearing into a portal in Yakutia, Russia, leading experts to claim that the venerable denomination has been hacked by the Kremlin.

Video footage shows the diminutive Church rising into the Russian sky before vanishing into a "portal."


The Church of England disappearing into a portal



"The strange video, seeming to show the Church of England full of lights in the night sky, has emerged in media circles in Yakutia, the largest region in Russia," stated one UFOlogist, "The small object is then swallowed by a portal. I think it was hacked."

Yakutia is famous for its diamonds, which may have drawn the cash-strapped CofE to the Russian wilderness. 



Artist's impression

Reports of the numerically challenged denomination disappearing altogether have come in from several countries, including Canada, New Zealand and America. 


A typical Russian hacker

However, when questioned about Russian hacking, Lambeth Palace declined to comment.


Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby

Archbishop Justin Welby was last seen pawning episcopal regalia on Detroit's notorious 8 Mile Road.

Space is Deep,

LSP

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Unholy Week



Police are appealing to the public following a carjacking in Ann Arbor, a suburb of Detroit.

The incident occurred around 1 a.m. in the 400 block of Washington Street, when two men forced a driver from his car at gunpoint. The carjackers then drove the vehicle a short way before crashing it and fleeing the scene on foot. 


Justin Welby, left, and Cursitor Doom, right.


Police describe the suspects as middle-aged, balding, white Caucasian males with grey complexions. CCTV footage shows the men have a striking resemblance to the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, and the Rev. Cursitor Doom, aka "Giles Fraser."


The Archbishop of Canterbury

Anyone with information about this crime is asked to call the Michigan Crime Line: 1-800-SPEAK-UP.

Lambeth Palace was unavailable for comment.

LSP

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Detroit, More Corrupt Than Zimbabwe



Remember the pathetic Clinton campaign to win the election through Shill Stein? Via ZeroHedge:





"Today, we learn from the Detroit News, to our "complete surprise," that the "voting irregularity" rabbit hole in Detroit is a bit deeper than initially thought. According to a memo penned by Wayne County election officials, 95 of the 662 precincts in Wayne County waited several days before delivering their poll books to canvassers and 5 of those poll books are still 'missing' even today.+


Detroit People Picking Their Way Through The Trash


Go figure. You can read the whole sordid tale of Democrat venality, corruption and malfeasance here.


It's Coming Back, Man

Who knows, maybe Trump will bring manufacturing back to the once famous automotive capital of the world. 




On the other hand, maybe it'd be better to build a wall. Around. The. Ghetto.

Your call,

LSP

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Who is Welby, Cheap Two-Bit Grifter or Solo Crime Fighter?



It's a far cry from the silk robes of Westminster Abbey and the gilded Fish Miter of Canterbury Cathedral but photographic evidence reveals Archbishop Justin Welby has left his posh Lambeth Palace digs for the mean streets of Detroit.




Initial reports suggested that the leader of the struggling CofE was panhandling for spare change and hustling pawnshops in America's onetime automotive capital, in a desperate bid to meet his shrinking denomination's budgetary shortfall.




However, recent photos show a different Welby, a solo crime fighter gunning a motorcycle through the abandoned Studebaker plant and posing alongside a homemade vigilante network poster.




Detroit Police Chief, James Craig, appears to welcome the Archbishop's new initiative.

"Criminals are getting the message that good Detroiters are armed and will use that weapon. If Justin Welby wants to be part of taking back our streets, that's fine. Detroit's a big city,” said Chief Craig to local press.




Others aren't convinced. "Welby can set up as a Motor City crime fighter but no one's fooled, it's just a cheap stunt," said one resident, "I saw him grifting outside Cobo Hall on Monday, he's always after spare change."




Archbishop Justin Welby, cheap two-bit grifter or Motor City solo crime fighter?

You, the reader, be the judge.

LSP


Saturday, September 3, 2016

The Plan



So what's the plan? It's simple, read up on  Luke's Gospel, drink some coffee, fry up a steak and couple of eggs, then load some rods and a gun in the truck and get out in the field. And who knows, maybe catch a fish or two and shoot some birds. I think you'll agree, a clear, compelling, achievable plan.




Bill Clinton has a plan, too. He plans to fill Detroit with Syian refugees. Well, hey, they've got to go somewhere and Martha's Vineyard is already booked, by millionaire socialists.

Champagne all 'round!

LSP

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

A Musical Interlude



Here's a soothing musical interlude to help all three readers of this so-called "blog" get through the jaw-dropping consternation of watching the brazen, murderous machinations of the Clinton campaign.

It's called In The Ghetto, by the late great Elvis Presley.

The King Lives,

LSP


Friday, June 10, 2016

Detroit Gets Goats?



It's no secret that America's onetime automotive capital, Detroit, has fallen on hard times. Over 60% of the Motor City's population has left since 1950, leaving behind some 677,000 inhabitants and between 20 and 40 square miles of vacant land.




Yes, somewhere between 20 and 40 square miles of vacant land. So what do you do with all that land where houses once stood and the remaining 677,000 suffer from what's euphemistically referred to as "food security"? Simple answer, you turn some of that empty space into farmland and you change the city's ordinances to allow livestock.




If upcoming code amendments pass the city's Planning Commission, Detroiters will be able to farm with livestock, including chickens, goats and rabbits. Imagine, you're driving down Gratiot and there's a goat, on the rubble of a collapsed crack house, next to a field of wheat.




Good idea, right? But there's a catch. You see, farming's racist. According to Kathryn Lynch Underwood, a member of Detroit's Planning Commission:

“You have people that may have come from the South and don’t necessarily have good memories of their experience in the South, so the whole agriculture, animal thing reminds them of something they wanted to get away from.”




The curiously named Lynch Underwood is black and so is around 80% of what's left of the Motor City's population. How many of these will be able to shake off their memories of being slaves on southern plantations and return to the land, is presently unknown.

Maybe hunger will help solve that dilemma.

Way to go, Detroit. You're obviously coming back, or not.

LSP

Saturday, May 28, 2016

Archbishop of Canterbury in Detroit Phone Heist?



Detroit police have released photos of a larceny suspect from the crime plagued city’s west side, to help investigators find the man wanted in connection with the incident.

A camera showed the suspect, wearing a stonewashed buttoned shirt, black T-shirt, dark shorts and white gym-shoes, inside the Marathon filling station in the 16300 block of Fenkell  at about 7 p.m. May 6. He then proceeded to grab a woman's cell phone and race from the store into a parked maroon vehicle, shouting, "Consequences!"




Authorities described him as a middle-aged Caucasian male, 5-foot-10, 160 pounds, with a gray complexion, and a startling resemblance to the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby.

Anyone who has any information is asked to call the Detroit Police Eighth Precinct Investigative Unit at (313) 596-5840 or Crime Stoppers of Michigan at 1-800-SPEAK-UP.




Justin Welby was last seen attempting to pawn church regalia on the Motor City's notorious 8 Mile Road.

LSP

Saturday, May 14, 2016

Detroit Shanty Town




Do you remember Detroit? It used to be America's motor city, now it's a prospective venue for zombie parks and "sack of corn, take a mule" land grants, as the once great automotive capital reverts to green field site.




Well done, Libs. Detroit was your great experiment and now it's a wreck, some would say a shanty town,

I know I was there.

LSP

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Mighty Hunter




A seasoned veteran of the intelligence community threatens to visit for a pig hunt in April and I think his method goes roughly like this. Wait for a massive tusker to charge you and then, calmly, deliberately, shoot it with a .357 Magnum revolver. Probably a Colt Python. In the meanwhile, LSP stands back with a 30 of some sort and a sharp kukri. 


LL Visits Texas

With that in mind, here's a typical hunting tale. 

As I patrolled along a hi-fenceline the dog came to a point, all attention, and there, 150 yards downhill to my left was a giant black pig, black hair bristling menacingly in the hot white light of a Texan morning.


Someone's Pig Hunt Gone Wrong

Fast as you like and maybe faster, up comes my AR, red dot hold on the shoulder of the pig, breathe, squeeze the trigger and... nothing. Try it again, is the gun broken? and... nothing. A split second of consternation.


Random Pictograph Somewhere in Texas

Then thumb-off the safety, fire, and the hog's running like a speeding maglev, barreling through the dystopian ruins of Detroit towards the Windsor tunnel. That one got off to fight again another day. 

Maybe this good fortune will change sometime soon.

Attention to detail,

LSP

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

The Archbishop of Canterbury is Steve Jobs?



Startling new photo evidence suggests that former oil executive and Motorcity brawler, Archbishop Justin Welby, is in fact Steve Jobs.

Evidence emerged at a rural Texan Walmart, where stunned onlookers were shocked to see the face of the Archbishop of Canterbury on CD covers of the smash-hit film, Steve Jobs


Justin Welby, Steve Jobs

"I never knew Justin Welby was the high-tech genius behind Apple," stated one worried farmer, "I thought he was just, you know, an oil executive who went off the rez (reservation) in Detroit, hustling for spare change and trying to pawn his finery on 8 Mile."


Bronski Beat With Justin Welby (Center)

Others aren't convinced. According to sources at the Anglican Consultative Council, "The Archbishop of Canterbury is not Steve Jobs. Everyone knows he was the lead singer with the Bronski Beat. Nothing has changed."




Is Justin Welby Steve Jobs, or the former singer of the famous pop boy band, Bronski Beat?

You, the reader, be the judge.

LSP