Let's Hear It For Detroit

 

Imagine this, punters, if you can. I moved from South Ken in London to Windsor/Detroit in '97. (Excuse me, were you utterly insane? Apparently yes) Why? For love and adventure, obvs. That aside, I'd email friends in the UK, yes, we had email then if just, as to what the New MI world was like. I don't think they believed me because so very far outside the UK thing. Hey, I was pulling punches, for what it's worth.

Whatev. I understand from reliable sources on the ground that the Motor City ain't as desolate as it used to be. As in, Downtown and Wayne State zones are being reclaimed for white civilization, by white people. Possibly, hope so, and let's repeat the mantra, "It's coming back, man." Huh. Here's a song:

Huh. Crawled Outta The Trailer And Into The Big Time

You only get one shot. Well he ain't wrong, eh? Trigger pressure and muscle memory forever. See you on 8 Mile, on the top floor of the Caddy and at the Club. So.

All Best,

LSP

The Legend Lives On

 

Yes indeed, the Edmund Fitzgerald. Inspired by VM, check it out:

There was a time when I lived in Windsor, Ontario, I know, brave, like a town in Belgium the Allies bombed and was never built back better. Whatever, we'd watch the big ships on the Detroit river from our apartment on Assumption. Quite a thing. 

On topic, HRH EII visited Windsor and remarked, "What a large city, I had no idea." She was looking down Tecumseh, I think, towards the Motor City.

It's Coming Back, Man. No, idiot, it's not

Reliable sources tell me America's onetime automotive capital's been reimagined as some kind of WholeFoods hipster enclave, a bucolic rustic, socially hi-fenced preserve returned to nature where factories, making things, once held sway. 

Of course all the people living in the Preserve hate the working class and people of color, and vote socialist. How very odd, and I'm sure the feeling's mutual.

Reverie Over,

LSP

Maybe You Should Lose The Dam Loafers And Get Off The Couch

 

Detroit Athletic Club - Stupid Pricey

Yet another surefire hit from Detroit's very own Doktor Swankenstein. Dam. Good work, fella. Note driftaway psychedelic guitar onna Led Zep tip (are you sure? Ed.), to say nothing of 'retha Franklin space vocals

Good Sense

That is all.

Cheers,

LSP

Cops And Waiters

I was just back from breakfast with a couple of lawmen when a prominent Detroit food critic called and asked, "What's the difference between cops and waiters?" 

Resisting the urge to say "everything" I kept silent and my old friend replied into the vacuum, "Oh, I don't know. They're just putting their lives on the line at any given moment." I had to laugh, we'd been discussing LE and the Motor City's waitering scene, which my pal knows well.

Oh look, the revolution

Big city waiters and bartenders, sorry, mixologists, are often revolutionary socialists like AOC, and my breakfast friends wondered if we were wandering into trouble.

Detroit

Will all the enraged Anarcho-Marxist wait staff rise up in revolt when Orange Man Bad wins 2020 against a cast of MillSoc mountebanks, buffoons and charlatans? 

Maybe they will, and all those sustainably farm-to-table repurposed restaurant workers will throw down their plates and annoying craft cocktails to fight the Man. The new bearded plaid proletariat, sort of thing.

Good thing I've got this down vest for the new Ice Age!

Before they do, they might want to remember that one side knows how to shoot.

Cheers,

LSP

Inspirational Tunes (warning, graphic)

Good work, boys. All hail Detroit.

Carry on,

LSP

Detroit Comeback?

"That's not the Philippines that's Detroit you idiot," Spoiler 216

Are you in the music industry? It was 1997 and I was in a cab, fresh out of London and heading to the Town Pump in what passed for downtown Detroit. It was a neat evening and, long story short, I moved. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

But what a culture shock, London to Detroit. It's hard to describe even now and it was harder then. Miles of abandoned or half abandoned city blocks, criss crossed by highways and an unrelenting ghetto of decaying, abandoned, burned out, crack den dystopia. And I didn't see the half of all 138 square miles of it.

Is there anything like it in England? I don't think so and feel that friends in the Old Country thought my email reports were tall tales. No, they weren't. Then again, no city in England has lost a million plus inhabitants in the last 50 years and gone from being the automotive capital of the world to... not. So you can excuse incomprehension.

Fast forward to today. I visit the onetime Motor City when I can and always have fun; it's good to see the city's downtown and immediate neighborhoods looking less blighted and no wonder. The burned out crack houses have fallen down and reverted to nature, leaving what was once a city open to agrarian white hipsterdom. Hey, go for it kids. And the result?

A small island of central civility in the increasingly empty shell of a once major city. Not dissimilar, when you think of it, to ancient Rome following the breakdown of western imperial authority. But will America's Motor City grow wings and fly again? 

Sometimes a song is worth a thousand words.

Your Old Friend,

LSP

Detroit 5 Felons And A Bishop

In shocking news that's surprised nobody, half of Detroit's mayoral candidates are convicted felons, and one of them is a Bishop, Justin Welby.

Welby, leader of the worldwide Anglican non-communion, is well known for favoring the erstwhile automotive capital's pawn shops and filling stations, where he attempts to boost the dwindling CofE's "bottom line" by selling church regalia and favors. 

However, unlike other candidates for the lucrative job of Mayor, Welby isn't a felon, even though he worked for ELF Oil before he became a clergyperson. Other candidates have extensive rap sheets.

According to The Detroit News, candidate Marie Pitts, 58, was involved in a shootout over car repair and convicted of "assault with intent to do great bodily harm, less than murder, in the shooting involving the shop owner as well as a firearm offense."

Welby, who does not have firearms convictions, is vociferously in favor of womyn bishops and welcomes transgenderism. 

Mantids may or may not control the Big House, Lambeth Palace.

Quo Vadis,

LSP

Kid Rock For Senate

Motor City pop legend, Kid Rock, is running for Senate and he's a big hit with Michigan voters, crushing puny GOP rivals and leading Democrat Debbie Stabenow in the polls.

Kid Rock is getting his fans to register at his pop concerts. He has a lot of fans.

Debbie Syabenow has fans too. She was "with her." That didn't go so well.

Kid Rock isn't very politically correct and favors the Stars and Bars, and Stripes, hunting, fishing and the military. He's also uncomfortable with two dudes getting married but "not opposed" to it.

Can't all be perfect all of the time.

Good luck, Kid.

LSP

Detroit's Best Ad Ever!

Dan Gilbert, multibillionaire owner of Bedrock Detroit is committed to revitalizing America's erstwhile automotive powerhouse, which is why he ran this incredible ad. It's Dan's vision for the future Motor City. 

Now, look carefully at the demographics in Dan's ad and think hard about Detroit.

Can you spot the problem? Or is it a solution? While you run the numbers on Dan's vision, here's Mayor Kwame.

He's in jail now and Dan's incredible ad has been taken down.

Good luck, Detroit.

Your friend,

LSP

Detroit, More Corrupt Than Zimbabwe

Remember the pathetic Clinton campaign to win the election through Shill Stein? Via ZeroHedge:

"Today, we learn from the Detroit News, to our "complete surprise," that the "voting irregularity" rabbit hole in Detroit is a bit deeper than initially thought. According to a memo penned by Wayne County election officials, 95 of the 662 precincts in Wayne County waited several days before delivering their poll books to canvassers and 5 of those poll books are still 'missing' even today.+

Detroit People Picking Their Way Through The Trash

Go figure. You can read the whole sordid tale of Democrat venality, corruption and malfeasance here.

It's Coming Back, Man

Who knows, maybe Trump will bring manufacturing back to the once famous automotive capital of the world. 

On the other hand, maybe it'd be better to build a wall. Around. The. Ghetto.

Your call,

LSP

Who is Welby, Cheap Two-Bit Grifter or Solo Crime Fighter?

It's a far cry from the silk robes of Westminster Abbey and the gilded Fish Miter of Canterbury Cathedral but photographic evidence reveals Archbishop Justin Welby has left his posh Lambeth Palace digs for the mean streets of Detroit.

Initial reports suggested that the leader of the struggling CofE was panhandling for spare change and hustling pawnshops in America's onetime automotive capital, in a desperate bid to meet his shrinking denomination's budgetary shortfall.

However, recent photos show a different Welby, a solo crime fighter gunning a motorcycle through the abandoned Studebaker plant and posing alongside a homemade vigilante network poster.

Detroit Police Chief, James Craig, appears to welcome the Archbishop's new initiative.

"Criminals are getting the message that good Detroiters are armed and will use that weapon. If Justin Welby wants to be part of taking back our streets, that's fine. Detroit's a big city,” said Chief Craig to local press.

Others aren't convinced. "Welby can set up as a Motor City crime fighter but no one's fooled, it's just a cheap stunt," said one resident, "I saw him grifting outside Cobo Hall on Monday, he's always after spare change."

Archbishop Justin Welby, cheap two-bit grifter or Motor City solo crime fighter?

You, the reader, be the judge.

LSP

Detroit Gets Goats?

It's no secret that America's onetime automotive capital, Detroit, has fallen on hard times. Over 60% of the Motor City's population has left since 1950, leaving behind some 677,000 inhabitants and between 20 and 40 square miles of vacant land.

Yes, somewhere between 20 and 40 square miles of vacant land. So what do you do with all that land where houses once stood and the remaining 677,000 suffer from what's euphemistically referred to as "food security"? Simple answer, you turn some of that empty space into farmland and you change the city's ordinances to allow livestock.

If upcoming code amendments pass the city's Planning Commission, Detroiters will be able to farm with livestock, including chickens, goats and rabbits. Imagine, you're driving down Gratiot and there's a goat, on the rubble of a collapsed crack house, next to a field of wheat.

Good idea, right? But there's a catch. You see, farming's racist. According to Kathryn Lynch Underwood, a member of Detroit's Planning Commission:

“You have people that may have come from the South and don’t necessarily have good memories of their experience in the South, so the whole agriculture, animal thing reminds them of something they wanted to get away from.”

The curiously named Lynch Underwood is black and so is around 80% of what's left of the Motor City's population. How many of these will be able to shake off their memories of being slaves on southern plantations and return to the land, is presently unknown.

Maybe hunger will help solve that dilemma.

Way to go, Detroit. You're obviously coming back, or not.

LSP

Detroit Shanty Town

Do you remember Detroit? It used to be America's motor city, now it's a prospective venue for zombie parks and "sack of corn, take a mule" land grants, as the once great automotive capital reverts to green field site.

Well done, Libs. Detroit was your great experiment and now it's a wreck, some would say a shanty town,

I know I was there.

LSP