Epiphany

You may have missed it in your rush to buy Bitcoin but today's the Feast of the Epiphany and the manifestation of Christ to the Gentiles. I like this:

THE Magi took the lids from their urns and unfastened their caskets, when they presented the symbols of universal homage to our infant prince. But when a woman came to anoint the king in his royal city, she shattered her alabaster jar, that she might pour the precious spikenard on his head. There was a sympathy between her action and the approaching Passion: the perfume of man’s homage could not be offered to God, without breaking the veined alabaster, the body of the Son of Man. Our incense may rise, like that of the Magi, from unbroken vessels, if we present our bodies a living sacrifice. Yet a living sacrifice is also a sacrifice, and is made so by some participation in the shattering of the vase. Christ, sacrificing himself, joins us with him in sacrificing him; Christ, sacrificing himself, sacrifices us, for he has made us parts of him. We come to offer our homage to Christ, but his star has brought us, and the breaking of his mortal vase has furnished all the perfume of our offering.

                                                                                  The Crown of the Year, Austin Farrer.

Elf

With that in mind, it's only fair to say that several members of this popular information brokerage have also had epiphanies. Viz. Justin Welby is not so much an Archbishop as  a Comedy House Elf. 

There's no need to get into Mantis People, that's a different post.

Quo Vadis,

LSP

Detroit 5 Felons And A Bishop

In shocking news that's surprised nobody, half of Detroit's mayoral candidates are convicted felons, and one of them is a Bishop, Justin Welby.

Welby, leader of the worldwide Anglican non-communion, is well known for favoring the erstwhile automotive capital's pawn shops and filling stations, where he attempts to boost the dwindling CofE's "bottom line" by selling church regalia and favors. 

However, unlike other candidates for the lucrative job of Mayor, Welby isn't a felon, even though he worked for ELF Oil before he became a clergyperson. Other candidates have extensive rap sheets.

According to The Detroit News, candidate Marie Pitts, 58, was involved in a shootout over car repair and convicted of "assault with intent to do great bodily harm, less than murder, in the shooting involving the shop owner as well as a firearm offense."

Welby, who does not have firearms convictions, is vociferously in favor of womyn bishops and welcomes transgenderism. 

Mantids may or may not control the Big House, Lambeth Palace.

Quo Vadis,

LSP

The Archbishop of Canterbury Goes Dhimmwit

In his New Year address, the Archbishop of Canterbury, toffee nosed old Etonian, Justin Welby tried to pour cold water on Great Britain’s popular vote to leave the hated European Union and welcome "strangers."

A Muslim Stranger

Addressing the nation, the Church of England’s top bishop and former Elf Oil executive claimed that the democratically mandated BREXIT had left Great Britain divided and encouraged us to offer “hospitality to the stranger”.

Live Well Together, With Strangers

“Living well together despite our differences, offering hospitality to the stranger and those in exile, with unshakable hope for the future – these are the gifts, the commands and the promises of Jesus Christ,” stated Welby.

Dumbass

It sounds good, right? Very Christian, but hold on a minute, your Reverence! Who are these “strangers”? Surely not millions of military age Muslims, the kind of head chopping savages that drive trucks into Christmas markets or turn once happy Sweden into the rape capital of the world. We’re supposed to welcome these people into our countries, and that’s offering Christian “hospitality”?

Dhimmwit

What a load of dhimwitted old guff. Maybe Great Britain should have offered Hitler’s Nazis “unshakable hope” and welcomed them, “despite our differences” into the country. Great idea, bishop, except that it's risible drivel.

Sorry, Welby, why don’t you concentrate on your job and sort out the real difference that concerns you, the difference between you and everyone else that doesn’t attend your shrinking Church.

And stop being a dhimmwit,

LSP

Archbishop of Canterbury Enforces New Beatitudes

A source deep within Lambeth Palace has revealed that the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, is forcing his Talent Pool to recite the Beatitudes, with a twist!

Unfortunate members of the Talent Pool, a group of high-flyers in the Church of England, have been ordered by Welby to recite a new set of "Beatitudes" as an exercise in "team building":

Blessed is the Talent Pool - because theirs is the kingdom of promotion,

Blessed are the MBAs – because they will inherit the salary,

Bessed are HR - because they will cut out the dead wood in a caring, sympathetic and inclusive manner,

Blessed are the CEOs – because the first will be first every time,

Blessed are the Accountants – because they can make rich men appear poor,

Blessed are the Lawyers – because they can plea-bargain here on earth,

Blessed are those with poor memory – because Alzheimer's is a great excuse when you get caught,

Blessed are the immoral – because they will rise to the top,

Blessed are those with a private jet – because they can lecture on climate change around the world.

"We have to go around the Palace wearing chinos and loafers, chanting these so-called 'Beatitudes,'" said our source, "Justin calls it 'team building' but it's really humiliating. He sits on the edge of a desk squeezing a stress ball, watching us. It's pretty unnerving, some of the Talent Pool are seriously considering dropping out of the program altogether."

The Church of England is facing declining membership and rising costs, despite women bishops and celebrity Crowley lookalike, Giles Fraser.

LSP