Detroit 5 Felons And A Bishop

In shocking news that's surprised nobody, half of Detroit's mayoral candidates are convicted felons, and one of them is a Bishop, Justin Welby.

Welby, leader of the worldwide Anglican non-communion, is well known for favoring the erstwhile automotive capital's pawn shops and filling stations, where he attempts to boost the dwindling CofE's "bottom line" by selling church regalia and favors. 

However, unlike other candidates for the lucrative job of Mayor, Welby isn't a felon, even though he worked for ELF Oil before he became a clergyperson. Other candidates have extensive rap sheets.

According to The Detroit News, candidate Marie Pitts, 58, was involved in a shootout over car repair and convicted of "assault with intent to do great bodily harm, less than murder, in the shooting involving the shop owner as well as a firearm offense."

Welby, who does not have firearms convictions, is vociferously in favor of womyn bishops and welcomes transgenderism. 

Mantids may or may not control the Big House, Lambeth Palace.

Quo Vadis,

LSP

The Archbishop of Canterbury is Steve Jobs?

Startling new photo evidence suggests that former oil executive and Motorcity brawler, Archbishop Justin Welby, is in fact Steve Jobs.

Evidence emerged at a rural Texan Walmart, where stunned onlookers were shocked to see the face of the Archbishop of Canterbury on CD covers of the smash-hit film, Steve Jobs. 

Justin Welby, Steve Jobs

"I never knew Justin Welby was the high-tech genius behind Apple," stated one worried farmer, "I thought he was just, you know, an oil executive who went off the rez (reservation) in Detroit, hustling for spare change and trying to pawn his finery on 8 Mile."

Bronski Beat With Justin Welby (Center)

Others aren't convinced. According to sources at the Anglican Consultative Council, "The Archbishop of Canterbury is not Steve Jobs. Everyone knows he was the lead singer with the Bronski Beat. Nothing has changed."

Is Justin Welby Steve Jobs, or the former singer of the famous pop boy band, Bronski Beat?

You, the reader, be the judge.

LSP