Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Who is Welby, Cheap Two-Bit Grifter or Solo Crime Fighter?

It's a far cry from the silk robes of Westminster Abbey and the gilded Fish Miter of Canterbury Cathedral but photographic evidence reveals Archbishop Justin Welby has left his posh Lambeth Palace digs for the mean streets of Detroit.

Initial reports suggested that the leader of the struggling CofE was panhandling for spare change and hustling pawnshops in America's onetime automotive capital, in a desperate bid to meet his shrinking denomination's budgetary shortfall.

However, recent photos show a different Welby, a solo crime fighter gunning a motorcycle through the abandoned Studebaker plant and posing alongside a homemade vigilante network poster.

Detroit Police Chief, James Craig, appears to welcome the Archbishop's new initiative.

"Criminals are getting the message that good Detroiters are armed and will use that weapon. If Justin Welby wants to be part of taking back our streets, that's fine. Detroit's a big city,” said Chief Craig to local press.

Others aren't convinced. "Welby can set up as a Motor City crime fighter but no one's fooled, it's just a cheap stunt," said one resident, "I saw him grifting outside Cobo Hall on Monday, he's always after spare change."

Archbishop Justin Welby, cheap two-bit grifter or Motor City solo crime fighter?

You, the reader, be the judge.



LL said...

Tin pan grifter...definitely.

Mattexian said...

Perhaps ol' Justin fancies himself as a real-life "Blankman," wielding his shepherd's crook and censer as quarterstaff and flail. He could be living out a childhood dream of being Little John, needing a Robin Hood to lead.

Anonymous said...

He should be ashamed of himself. Actually I thought I saw him - right here in Dallas - under the i-30 underpass, just the other day, begging for loose change.

LSP said...

LL, I agree with you on this.

LSP said...

Bold call, Mattexian!

LSP said...

Yeah, BW (Holly?), you'll see him under I30 pretty frequently, hustling and getting up to mischief.