Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Product Testing, Shoot The Fiver

The best thing about Great Britain's new currency is that it's indestructible. I know this because a friend from England drifted over to the Compound from Houston with some samples, two "Fivers." I looked at the shiny, holographic plastic currency and she made the pitch, "Look, LSP, this note's indestructible." I wasn't convinced, "Let's see about that. At the range."

Pin it Up

A few traditional range cheeseburgers later, the indestructible Fiver was pinned onto the head of a silhouette and we were ready to product test with a .38 Special snubby, a deadly assault rifle and a Ruger American .22. Would the Fiver live up to its marketing?

Your Old Pal

No. It didn't. In fact it failed dismally, taking rounds right through the paper right out of the gate from the .38. Not a monster round, right? But it did for the Fiver. So did the diminutive 5.56 from the banned-in-England carbine. Bang, right through the Fiver. Maybe that's why they're not allowed in England, who knows.

Banned in England

The lowly .22 did the trick too, sending tiny bullet after bullet right through the Indestructible. Fiver, you fail, but well done, JS, for winning the "knock the Fiver off the silhouette from 50 yards" competition. Good shooting.

Hand Out of Sun, Fool

In fairness to me, I was a bit of a bystander because of a badly burned hand. Keep it out of the blistering Fall sunlight, sort of thing. Still, I experienced it for myself; low caliber bullets go right through Great Britain's shiny, new, so-called indestructible currency. Go right ahead, put all the holographs you like on it but sorry, it's not going to win this FX speculation. The guns had it.

Go Short

Verdict? The new Fiver isn't indestructible. Go short.

With apologies to the great Winston Churchill and HRH EII.

Gun rights,



Jules said...

Ha! What a great day! Yeah fiver, try again. You were exterminated. Polymer, you fail.

I second the apology to HRH and Winston Churchill but tests had to be made, cheeseburgers had to be eaten and what can you get for a fiver these days anyway? Not even a cut price Malbec! :)

Mattexian said...

Can you take it to the bank and get if a new one, like with torn/shredded/eaten-by-the-dog US currency?

LL said...

What happened to Karen's brisket burritos. You didn't take Juliette to get burritos??? I thought that the taste of gunpowder rubbing off on the burritos made them all the more delicious!

Good shooting. Too bad about Churchill, but I think that he'd understand the test of invincibility.

Anonymous said...

You spent more lead on it than its worth.

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