Archbishop of Canterbury in Easter Bunny Mall Brawl

That bunny packs a punch!

The Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, was attempting to raise money for the cash-strapped Church of England, by dressing up as the Easter Bunny at a New Jersey Mall. But things started to go wrong when a young girl slipped off the Pontif's lap.

The girl's father became irate and started to brawl with the Archbishop, at which point Welby took off his furry rabbit mask and charged at the angry dad, swinging punches.

Both the Archbishop and the enraged father were escorted out of the shopping center by mall security and taken to a medical clinic for treatment.

Whether Welby was under the influence of the dangerous new synthetic drug, "ACC", has yet to be determined.

High on "ACC"?

Carry on,

LSP

Bishop Jon Bruno Forked Tongue Reptilian Space Creature

Los Angeles, California, is well known for space alien infiltration, and it seems its TEC diocese is no exception. Diocesan leader, bishop figure "Jon" Bruno, has been described by one expert, AS Haley, as having a "forked" tongue.

Via Anglican Ink -- "A prime example is the Diocese of Los Angeles, led by the litigious J. Jon Bruno -- he of the forkèd tongue. For nine years he waged war in the California courts against four dissident congregations to prevent them from keeping title to their own parish properties. 

Artist's Impression

"Using the notorious Dennis Canon, he was singularly successful in having California courts impose an irrevocable trust on the local parishes' real estate, so that when they voted to withdraw from the diocese, they necessarily forfeited all rights to their property.

"But his victories came at a tremendous cost: the Diocese had spent more than eight million dollars as of last year, and was still incurring more costs..."

Is "Jon" Bruno a human being? Or a shape-shifting reptilian, from another galaxy or dimension? Is "Jon," even the bishop figure's real name? We doubt it.

And remember this, Episcopal Diocese of Los Angeles. In space, no one can hear you scream.

Your Friend,

LSP