The Feast of St. Thomas - A Helpful Meditation

It's the Feast of St. Thomas today. He doubted, like the Church of England itself but unlike the Episcopal Church, came to great faith.

Thomas scorned liturgical dance

And hated bad vestments

He was against wimmyn bishops, note Gloucester's teeth. And...

He stood for the Faith.

Here's the collect.

ALMIGHTY and everliving God, who, for the greater confirmation of the faith, didst suffer thy holy Apostle Thomas to be doubtful in thy Son's resurrection; Grant us so perfectly, and without all doubt, to believe in thy Son Jesus Christ, that our faith in thy sight may never be reproved. Hear us, O Lord, through the same Jesus Christ, to whom, with thee and the Holy Ghost, be all honour and glory, now and for evermore. 

Amen.

LSP 

It's The Woman Bishop Beauty Pageant!

It's a rare day that the shrinking Church of England doesn't promote a woman to one of its top bishop jobs, but who's the best looking?

Libby Lane?

Karen Gorham?

Christine Hardman?

Alison White?

Rachel Treweek?

Which one of these stained glass ceiling stunners wins the beauty prize?

You, the reader, be the judge.

LSP

Elves

Maybe it's the cold, maybe it's something else, like the destruction of Apostolic Order in the Church of England, but whatever the case, there's a lot of elf chatter going on at the moment.

Matters came to a head in Iceland, where a new road project was blocked due to concerns it would destroy an elf, or "huldufolk," habitat, including an elf church. Local authorities were unwilling risk the elves' "displeasure" and halted the construction. 

"Mainly they're a peaceable breed but if you treat them with disrespect, for example by blasting dynamite through their rock houses and churches, they're not reticent about showing their displeasure," stated Emma Kirby, for the BBC.

According to surveys, 62% of Icelanders believe in elves, Here in the US, construction of the Keystone pipeline has been vetoed by President Obama.

No one knows for sure how many elves live in America.

LSP

Ancient Aliens, the Smoking Gun?

The holy grail of ancient alien theorists may have been found, in the Church of England's General Synod!

Photographs show what appear to be ancient aliens hiding in plain sight, in the CofE's most revered governing body, the General Synod. 

The off-world Synodians look similar to men and women, though some speculate that the mysterious creatures may be genderless and have moved beyond "male" and "female" thanks to advanced technology.

Ancient alien theorists believe that the earth was visited by aliens many thousands of years ago, and may one day return.

Is the wait over?

LSP

Church of England Saved by Stray Cat

The diminutive Church of England, which has been steadily shrinking for decades, may have been saved, by a stray cat.

The tiny church was found by Masha the cat, where it had been abandoned on the snowy streets of Obninsk, in a small box.

"When I heard her meowing, I thought that perhaps she had injured herself," said local resident Irina Lavrova, "You can imagine my shock when I found her lying in a box next to the Church of England."

Others aren't so sure, believing that the abandoned church may have been US Foreign Policy, or even a baby.

Church of England, Foreign Policy or baby, well done Masha!

LSP

Church of England No-Talent Management

The Church of England has hit on a radical new way to reverse its declining fortunes. Hire some consultants and create more bureaucracy, of course.

Budget

In a bold new move to turn around the dismal failure of CofE leaders to get people to go to their failing church, a £2-million budget has been approved to implement Talent Management for Future Leaders and Leadership Development for Bishops and Deans: A new approach.

Talent

In keeping with CofE best practice, training will be run by a secular institution or business school, although a "spiritual retreat" is also envisaged. In step two of the career promotion programme, 150 potential top decision makers will have to pass a 5 year course at Archbishop Justin Welby's London palace.

Success

Failure to pass the five year "path to success" will result in career candidates being thrown out of what the report refers to as a "talent pool" and having to make do as ordinary, if failed, clergypersons. According to the Church Times, the "talent pool" will be made up of up to "150 high-potential individuals."

High Potential

You can read Let Nothing You Dismay for some commentary but I have to say, whatever happened to holiness of life being a qualifier for office in the church? And who's making the profit? 

Throw Up In Your Mouth

I'll tell you this, it won't be parishes or the increase of the Body of Christ. And with that in mind, maybe someone should follow the money all the way to the "talent pool."

God bless,

LSP

Chickens in the Tree. The Anglo-Catholic Future?

"That's weird!" I thought, "There are chickens in this tree." Seriously, I'd no sooner sooner stepped out on the back porch when I noticed a largish white shape in my neighbor's tree. I walked up for a closer look and sure enough, it was a chicken. One of many.

Flying Bishop?

The chickens are roosting now, "better together", sleeping, high up in the tree. Lots of them. I didn't know they did that, but now I do.

Better Together

Perhaps you're thinking that this is some kind of metaphor for the Anglo-Catholic Movement. And maybe the chickens think they'll be safe, sleeping up there in the tree.

God bless,

LSP

I Hate Clown Masses

Maybe you like Clown Masses. Maybe you don't think they're sinister and wrong.

Sinister

That'd be a bad mistake.

Typical Dobby, Goofing Off

God bless,

LSP

Exterminate!

No Gods, No Masters!

Being a simple country padre, who likes to ride, shoot and get out in the field against the menacing doves, coyotes and, opportunity permitting, hogs, I wasn't aware that Margaret Sanger's Planned Parenthood received millions of dollars every year from Uncle Sam. A little under a million dollars a day, according to CNS and no wonder, Planned Parenthood performed 332,378 abortions in 2009, or around one "termination" for every two seconds of every day in the year. That's a pretty high volume service to the public; just think of all those children who would otherwise be running around if it weren't for PP's taxpayer subsidy.

Top TEC Bishop, Sanger Supporter

By way of interest, Sanger, who coined the phrase that a woman should be "absolute mistress of her own body" as well as that old classic, "No Gods, No Masters!" is avidly supported by the same team who brought The Episcopal Church (TEC) and it's little sister, the Anglican Church of Canada (ACoC), women priests and bishops.

Clergypersons

Enthusiastic efforts to keep the population down have done both denominations a power of good. England looks set to follow suit.

Exterminate!

In the meanwhile, birth rates are falling to below replacement level; whence the urge to demographic suicide?

Lord have mercy.

LSP