Mad As Hell

Prescient? You be the judge,

LSP

CONFEDERATE TIME TRAVELER?!?

Brainiac boffins believe time travel may be possible thanks to "quantum entanglement," and shocking new evidence seems to prove them right. 

Nineteenth century pictures of a Confederate firing line show a bearded soldier calmly reloading his musket in the face of a Yankee charge. 

Amazingly, a photo has emerged of the same soldier in central Texas in the 21st century, a leap of over 100 years.

Is time travel now a possibility or are objects in the mirror more right wing than at first appears? As always, you, the reader, be the judge.

Deo Vind.

LSP

I Saw A UFO On Sunday

A UFO? Don't you mean ACoC (Anglican Church of Canada), flying across the heavens on its way to the icy void of deep space? No, readers, this was the real deal.

Two days ago I stepped out onto Compound's back porch to take in the starry brilliance of a Texan night sky. OK, not as Milky Way remarkable as, say, West Texas but still, not bad. Then a light appeared in my peripheral vision, very bright, moving North to South. 

The exhaust looked a bit like this but more defined

I thought it was a chopper, perhaps a Careflight, or Law Enforcement chasing down some cultural enrichment. In a second it was in front and above me, moving fast. I looked up, noticing an intermittent jetlike red exhaust behind the craft. Weird, do choppers do that? then registered that whatever it was was silent, no noise whatsoever. 

No sooner noted than the light and exhaust blinked out as though they had never been, nothing was there, not even a silhouette against the starlit sky. So what was this thing?

Some kind of new, noiseless stealth tech, a visitor from another dimension, defying the laws of space and time? A Toronto deanery,  a liturgical dancer, Hillary's emails? Who knows, but there it was, silent and fast, and then it wasn't.

Make of this what you will,

LSP

Caravan Time Traveler

A time traveler from Wednesday, November 7, 2018 has brought back a stunning picture of the future, showing what appears to be a giant rainbow pinata on America's southern border.

The futurist, Mr. W. Wolf, says that the gift will be left by a "caravan" of "Guatemalans and MS-13" as a "gift." And because the future isn't fixed, several responses are possible. 

(1) Hit the pinada with artillery.

(2) Napalm.

(3) Haul the pinada through the fence as a triumph of Democrat policy?

(4) Hook it up to a Sikorsky Sky Crane and drop it twenty miles off-shore?

Here at Compound News, we're amazed by these revelations from the future and with the time traveler, urge everyone to get out and vote.

Your Best Friend,

LSP

Time Traveler

A transdimensional time traveler has broken silence to tell us what life was like for the Worldwide Anglican Non Communion pre 2000, Before Trans Era (BTE).

Some Kind of Joke?

"It was different," says "Josh" who wishes to remain anonymous, "We were there, like a normal church, and then everything got weird. There were all these priestesses and they did some kind of deal with the gays. Maybe in Chicago.

Gene, Loretta, Sharpton, the Trinity

"Next thing you know they'd gone full rainbow and there were lesbian bishops and this guy, Gene Robinson, but he's gone now because it's not cool to be gay, you have to be trans. 

Gross Van Dyke

"I know this, I sat in Ian Markham's study at VTS, he went to King's, and heard it all spelled out. It was going to get them lots of people in the pews but it didn't. More people get buried in the Episcopal Church than get baptized."

Psi Power

Ian Markham, Dean of the prestigious white privilege seminary, VTS, was unavailable for comment and so was "Josh", the time traveler. The Episcopal Church continues to hemorrhage members despite going "full rainbow."

Justsin

The Archbishop of Canterbury is popularly known as "Justsin."

God bless,

LSP

Time Traveler Brings Back Photos Of Life On Mars

Proof has finally emerged that life exists on Mars, in the year 3812. Photos brought back by a young time traveler known only as "Mary", reveal buildings, a cathedral, and humanoid creatures living on the inhospitable surface of the red planet.

“Mars was very interesting and at the same time very frightening," stated Mary, 37, "It looked like a desert with many buildings and York Minster, I immediately took a photo. You can see the spaceships on which we came, you can also see the buildings."

The time traveler met with one Mars creature who called himself "Justsin" and wore a black coat. The humanoid took her for a ride in his flying car to see "the Sentamu."

“I was walking through the city when a man came to me who was wearing a black coat. His name was Justsin, he asked me to follow him to see 'the Sentamu' and we walked away and went to his car. 

"I couldn’t forget that emotion when I was flying above York Minster, on Mars.”

Ad Astra,

LSP