EXCOMMUNICATED

 

Faithful & True

Perhaps you've heard of him, Archbishop Vigano, the now retired Papal Nuncio to the US. The same Vigano who's dared call out the satanic globohomo antics of the WEF, Deep State, and Vatican itself. He even asked the Swiss Guard to arrest our beloved Red Pope. Well, sorry buddy, he just got excommunicated for "schism." 

Keen-eyed readers will note Rainbow James Martin SJ has not been excommunicated, no, he's alive and flourishing, all the while flouting the Church's clear teaching on rainbow liaison. Why is one priest fired, by the Church, for teaching what the Church teaches, and another, who's basically an outright heretic, isn't? Don't say the Vatican is crewed by a gang of commie poofs.

In related news, the dear old Church of England is looking to pay 1BN£, that's right, a billion pounds sterling, by way of reparations for something it calls "chattel slavery." The venerable if entirely shrinking COE feels so white guilt about slavery that they're fixing to give someone or something a billion pounds. 

Fraud& Fool

That's a lot of money by UK standards, around a year of the pathetically dwindling denom's operating budget. And we have to ask, do they have a death wish, do they want to destroy the very Church they've been entrusted to serve? Maybe they do, if only, and I'm being polite, in peripheral vision. Why build up a Church you don't believe in when you can give its money to causes you do believe in, like Leftism. Quite.

That in mind, how many of the few remaining churchgoers in the COE will be inclined to give their money to the lib evangelical Welby edifice when they realize Church Central (Church Commissioners) is pouring cash into white guilt? 

To put it another way, "Why should I give my parish church a single penny when we're giving our entire yearly budget away in an act of risible, pathetic, self-destroying, malfeasant virtue signaling." Or something like that.

Perhaps, dear readers, the ancient if shrinking COE has forgotten it produced William Wilberforce. Surely they should be awarding themselves.

Your Old Pal,

LSP

Church of England Gets Even Moar Gay

 

Hawk-eyed observers of the religious scene will have noticed that the venerable if shrinking Church of England's getting gayer by the day. Yes indeed. In October, an openly partnered rainbow clergypersyn, The Very Revd Dr David Monteith, was promoted to one of the COE’s most prestigious positions, Dean of Canterbury Cathedral.

The Archbishop of Canterbury, Justsin Welby, congratulated the new Rainbow Dean on his promotion:

"I'm delighted by David's appointment as Dean of Canterbury," gushed Old Etonian Welby, "He has been an exceptional Dean of Leicester -- and his deep faith and spirituality, creativity, and profound sense of service will be a gift to Canterbury Cathedral and all the communities it serves."

How very lovely. Monteith lives in a civil partnership marriage, which somehow isn't a marriage, with David Hamilton, a bereavement counselor. But that's not all, no, not by a long shot.

Only last week, the Bishop of Oxford, Steven Croft, wrote and published an annoyingly long 52 page argument in favor of same-sex wedding rituals. Other bishop figures were swift to applaud Croft's interminably gay essay. 

The Bishop of Worcester, the Rt Rev Dr John, the Bishop of Dudley, the Rt Rev Martin Gorick, the Bishop of Reading, the Rt Revd Olivia Graham, the Bishop of Buckingham, the Rt Rev Alan Wilson, and the Bishop of Dorchester, the Rt Rev Gavin Collins, all backed Croft’s call for the COE to embrace same-sex marriage. 

There's more, much moar, but I'll leave you with this. Rainbow Rider Croft unironically deployed Matthew 7:15-20 as a proof text in support of his lengthy argument in defense of gayness. Here it is:

15 Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. 16 You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17 So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. 18 A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Thus you will recognize them by their fruits.

 

"Thus you will recognize them by their fruits." Quite, to say nothing of false prophets. Rainbow Rider Croft curiously doesn't expound upon these but feels the Church since its conception has been an unhealthy tree because of its bizarre insistence that marriage is something which can only take place between, gasp, shock, horror, a man and a woman.

Kyrie Eleison,

LSP

Archbishop of Canterbury Found on Mars

Startling footage from a NASA Mars rover appears to show a giant statue of the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, on the Red Planet.

While some believe the statue depicts a slave owning Egyptian Pharaoh, careful analysis by a leading UK xenologist says otherwise, that the off-world monument is the Church of England's top bishop figure.

Pharaoh

"It appears to have eye, nose, chin and a very extended forehead, which may have occupied a more enhanced brain. And it's clearly wearing a mitre. All features of Justsin Welby [sic]," stated the ET expert who wishes to remain anonymous.

Extended Forehead Stripped Pine

The colossal pharaonic statue of the Archbishop of Canterbury on Mars comes at a difficult time for the Church of England, which has accused itself of systemic racism and plans to remove statues from its churches and cathedrals to end injustice.

Violent

Whether the declining denomination's statuary purge will extend to Mars has yet to be seen. Lambeth Palace declined to comment.

Ad Astra,

LSP

You Fool No One

Quite.

Your Old Pal,

LSP