Laying Down Smoke

 

A sister flies in from the Old Country, so whaddya do? Climb in the rig and strike out for the Metrosprawl. Once there, fire up the Weber Thesis, enjoy some of the right stuff and apply beer can chicken to the grill when the coals have done their thing.

It's not hard. Brush the chick with olive oil and season with salt and pepper. Admire your handiwork as you insert a can of beer into the bird's crevice, maybe drink some beer while you're at it, and then place the thing on the grill over indirect heat. So important, indirect heat.

Then cover the grill and let heat do its magic for 1 hour, 15 minutes, turning the chick around at half point so that the breast faces the coals. Take it out. Let it rest. Then fall upon your scoff like a warrior, job well done.

But of course you know all this, beer can chicken, a go-to here in the States. In the UK? Maybe not so much. Speaking of which, this sister's in the process of relocating to Reading, not far from London, where house prices are nosebleed high. Well done her, but how do the Brits afford it? They can't, not really, at least not most of them, and the same thing's not far off here too. Solution?

Easy. Our Beloved Rulers at Black Rock et al own everything and rent it back to us, at extreme profit. And guess what, you won't be able to afford meat anymore, much less chicken, and half the country will vote for it because Climate Change. Then wonder why they're only allowed to eat bugs as they glory in their tiny 1500 USD pcm studio apartment. 

I won't bang on, 

LSP

Incendiary

 

Western districts of #Bakhmut under fire.
Heavy fighting continues for the outskirts of the city, the Ukraine troops holds no more than 2.5 square kilometers of territory. pic.twitter.com/MqA3yUIUH7

— Middle East Update (@islamicworldupd) May 6, 2023

Now imagine that was the Metroplex. Of course such a thing could never, ever, ever, ever happen here. So go on, load up the .50s and count yourself a lucky fella.

Imagine Russia and China would pay Nazis to topple the democratically elected Govt in Mexico with the goal to make it part of their military alliance and to build a military base with nuclear capable missiles in Mexico.

Then imagine Mexico attacking the White House with a drone.

— Kim Dotcom (@KimDotcom) May 4, 2023

Your Best Pal,

LSP

Get Back

 

There it was, the urban glory of WC1, and then the nightmare that is Heathrow's Terminal Three. This used to be vaguely congenial, I recall, but presents itself now as some kind of psychotic night club in a bus station sponsored by Hermes, Gucci and Tissot. 

Nightmare? Yes, but word to the wise, you can buy an airplane book at WH Smiths and a surprisingly cheap sandwich at the Boots pharmacy franchise for £1.50. I bought several, along with Nial Gaiman's Neverwhere and headed through the madding crowd to Gate 36.

The sandwiches were tasty, bizarrely, Neverwhere entertaining and the flight easy and fast, getting into DFW an hour early. What can I say, an exception which proved the rule. And then touchdown on the DFW runway and there we were, home. A taxi ride later I was back in the sylvan idyll of Winnetka Heights, Dallas, and a warm welcome from Ma LSP, "Champagne?" Most assuredly yes.

So that was that, a successful recce patrol across the Atlantic and back to Texas, safe and sound. Lessons learned? Don't lose your phone and bank card after carousing at the jolly old NatLib, do go to Mass at the excellent St. Peter's London Docks and while you're at it, spare a thought for Turner's Old Star 'round the corner from the church, well worth the visit.

In other news, CONUS is being attacked by balloons in a vicious act of asymmetrical warfare, the Scottish National Party (SNP) is in tranny turmoil and the dear old Church of England's gone even gayer than it was already, which is saying something.

Get back,

LSP

Off To The Old Country

 

Off to the Sceptred Isle for the first time in over five years and I'm excited about that, it'll be good to see old friends, family and the country itself. In the meanwhile, checking in was absurdly easy and here's Terminal D, back to normal, as though the deadly killer pandemic had never existed.

And I'm not complaining, just having a not cold enough beer at a make pretend craft brewery airport mall bar called Brewed. Huh. Maybe I'll leave this ersatz pub and go to a fake wine bar called Cru. Why not? There's no "rule."

See you on the other side,

LSP

SSC

 

What a busy couple of days, driving from the safe haven of the North Central Exclusion Zone into the brawling streetfight that is the DFW Metrosprawl connurb, a Mega City larger than Connecticut itself, wherever that is. Why?

To go to the SSC provincial Synod, which is an assembly of priests dedicated to asserting Catholic Faith for our part of God's holy Church. We met in Southlake for worship, teaching and fellowship and it's been a great thing to meet up with brothers in the Faith.

Originally, the SSC began in England as a priestly society bound together by a common rule of life, to promote the Faith in its fullness, what did this look like? Glorious liturgy, yes, but with that the founders of the society were renowned, seriously, for their work amongst the poor of East London. Not least in the cholera epidemic of 1865.

That spirit's alive today. What does it mean to be an Anglican? we ask, and the answer's, "A Catholic Christian." With that goes the admonition, "I was hungry and you fed me," and, "Ye cannot serve God and Mammon."

So there you have it. Ma LSP returned from Wales today and was pleased to find her house burnished, clean and water on. We must take our victories, gentlemen and women, as we find them.

Your Old Pal,

LSP

Catastrophe Averted

 

It started off well, very well, totally according to plan. Roll into Dallas, check on Ma LSP's property while she's on vacation in the Old Country and make sure everything's sound for her arrival. Simple, elegant, achievable. What a great plan. Then everything fell to pieces.

First off, where's my laptop? Not in the overnight duffle, not in the rig.  No, it was sitting safe and sound in the kitchen of the Compound and useless, even with modern tech, to me in the 'Sprawl. Fail. Attention to detail, LSP, and what about personal admin? Double fail.

You Little Gusher

But no big deal, work from your cell phone, such is progress. Fine, until the next day when it was time to mow the overgrown lawn. "What's this?" I thought over the hum of Ma's nifty electric mower, "Why is the ground so wet, rain?"

Wet as in fixing to become marshland. Hunh. Then lo and behold, not rain but a mini gusher by the pecan tree. I stared at it, Bloody Mary in hand, "It's only a small gusher, maybe we can leave it alone." No. Error. Little gusher became big gusher and the yard began to flood. So I poured a stiff one, got the water turned off to house and got on the line to plumbers.

Problem

They/he came out yesterday and got the job done, fixing a split water line with Sharkbite fittings and capping off a redundant sprinkler system in the process. Good work Tribeca, prompt, personable and at a reasonable cost. Give 'em a shot if you need emergency plumbing in DFW.

Solution

Net result? Water restored to the house and catastrophe averted. Thank God for that, Ma LSP can return home to a place that isn't flooded and has running water. Result. My carefully constructed plan? Shot to hell but you know what they say, improvise, adapt, overcome. Problem? Solution.

Cheers,

LSP

Vincimus Spatium

 

Picked the Specialist up from DFW's Terminal D today and all was was well. His flight out of Helsinki was miraculously on time and before you could say "Patton wasn't whacked" there he was, striding into international arrivals with his Lt.

What a relief! To be honest, I'd been afraid he might've been delayed by the present furor in Eastern Europe but no, back home on schedule. Maybe this bodes well, let the reader understand, and I liked his Lt., what a pleasant young man. 

But that's just it, young, and very different from the British Officer Corps standard I remember, more Israeli perhaps. Not a bad thing, just different. Regardless, the deployment went well and the kid's happy and fit. I like all of that.

God Bless,

LSP

In The Metrosprawl

 

Sometimes you have to leave the rural haven of bucolic old Texas and venture forth into the metrosprawl, the DFW connurb. And that's what I did, climbed into the rig and headed for Dallas. Why? To sort out a hernia issue with the medicos.

First step, pull into Ma LSP's place, which was fun, as always. Well done, parental LSPs for buying into the 'sprawl where you did, when you did. Result. 

The next day was all about an "initial consultation." The surgeon, a very pleasant chap, asked me, "So, mission priest, what's your day job?" I looked the medical sacerdos straight in the eye and said, "That's it, and I edit a magazine, no money you see." He sized this up, "Right, self-pay." Exactly.

The next day I drove down Central Distressway to Northstar Diagnostic for a CT scan. Northstar's in a medical complex/hospital which looks like a boutique hotel, though far more pricey and much less fun. That done?

Drive to the beautifully named Lovers Lane for bloodwork. You see, all this must be accomplished before scalpel meets femoral hernia. Thanks, horse. But whatever, you do what you gotta do, and it was neat to motor tour around Dallas.

Iconic

In other news, the eldest returns from Eastern Europe tomorrow, mission accomplished, and I'll get him at the airport. Surprised by that, you'd think they'd fly the troops back to Ft. Hood directly.

Cheers,

LSP

Science

 

Well here we are, in the land of science, or as someone famously said, "A blasphemous parody of a woman." And, apparently unironically, something to do with the nation's health. Try not to throw up in your made in China mask.

Speaking of health, I risked life and limb to drive into the Metrosprawl conurb this afternoon. And I tell you, it wasn't easy because cars were smashing up like Me 163s coming in to land. Komets aside, the Society of the Holy Cross (SSC) meets in the Fort Worth conurb tomorrow, where we'll install a new Provincial Master.

There's a story in that, because the venerable and awesome SSC is now a game of two halves in North America. On the one hand, there's the Anglo-Catholic clergy who side with the transgender Episcopal Church. And on the other, those who don't.

You can guess which side I'm on, but don't get me wrong, the TEC SSC is attempting an orthodox, catholic witness in their part of the Worldwide Anglican Non Communion (WANC). Good luck, guys. But more on this fascinating facet of ecclesiana later.

In the meanwhile, hail to the Chief, and who would that be, right about now?

Your Pal,

LSP

Don't Fear The Reaper

OK, here it is. Thanks to a commie bioweapons lab in China the entire world's at risk from a weird airborne HIV Kung-Flu. The good news is this.

Don't Fear The Reaper, the virus isn't bubonic plague lethal, but be smart and get in food and water if you haven't already.

Cheers,

LSP

On The Road

I drove to a suburb of Fort Worth this morning. It took one and a half hours to get there, the worst of which was through the metrosprawl. Someone hasn't told the DFW civic planners that highways running through, across and over a town doesn't make for a pleasant urban environment. Visit Venice and see its famous 6 lane highway bisecting St. Mark's Square! said no tourist brochure ever.

Seriously, after a good few thousand years of Western civilization, you'd think we could do better than turn our cities into roads. Like, what's best to live in, a city or a road? Let's think about that; road, city, city, road, hmmmm... road? 

Road trip over, I ended up at the cathedral, which is a good church, and went to a meeting. A bishop who I like very much was there and had a parrot on his shoulder. It's an aggressive beast and attacks people who try to pet it.

At the end of the meeting I drove back home through the 'sprawl to the countryside. Blue Exertion was there, taking it easy in the sun and I don't blame him. 

Later on today I'll drive to another church and, by the end of it all, feel like a travelling salesman. But hey, all in a good cause.

If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill it.

LSP

The End of Days

Well, the summer sure went fast and now the cadets are back in their mountain fastness, the land of the ice and snow. The panfish in Lake Whitney are deeply relieved as are various species of small game, but Blue Loyalty is confused. "Where's the pack?" he seems to say.

In other news, a crazed Muslim knifed a French policewoman in the neck, in Toulouse. The fanatical Aloha Snackbar holy warrior was described as "mentally unstable" by authorities and we have to ask, why are so many Muslims mentally unstable? Is their religion a kind of psychic disorder?  

And people say DJT is a fascist for wanting to vett Muslim immigrants into the US? You know, just in case they're "mentally unstable"? 

Oh, what a Nazi for not wanting to import thousands of deranged Allahu Akbar head choppers into the country. Wake up.

Nuance,

LSP

It's Bushcraft Wednesday!

Yes, it's Bushcraft Wednesday and here we are, deep in the bush of the metrosprawl. Just me, Blue Unmentionable and a couple of .45s.

A Couple of Guns

What do two pistols have to do with the art of Bushcraft, you ask yourself, mystified. Simple, if you're charged by a predator out in the bush, you need something to defend yourself and a reliable sidearm can come in handy.

Alien Gear Works

The team favors Glocks and, today, a Beretta. Both great guns but I'd say the Glock has an edge because of its sturdy, workmanlike simplicity. Nothing fancy about that pistol and fewer parts to malfunction or go missing or break. A big asset in the bush.

The Simplicity of Glock

So listen up, bushcrafters. Invest in a reliable sidearm and keep it clean, I recommend the Glock 21. And while you're at it, check out Alien Gear holsters, for inside and outside the waistband carry. They work.

Blue Unmentionable

Here endeth the shameless marketing for Beretta, Glock and Alien Gear.

Your Old Friend,

LSP

And They're Back!!

mindless freaks

There I was, all innocent, standing on the runway of YYC waiting for take-off, then it was touchdown at DFW and... I lost all inclination to post. Perhaps it was because of the endless stream of Piers "Oh What A Total Loser" Morgan PR on the TV. Maybe it was because of the depressing effect of NO AMMO to be had, but whatever the reason, the mood has passed and Team LSP is back online. And back with a vengeance.

the Boss

Expect God.

just an old Lee

Expect Guns.

getting it right

Expect Church.

ride more, all of you

Expect Country Life.

Bear Cav

And maybe some Bear Cav shots, perhaps the odd food review, and who knows, even the odd side-swipe against the New World Order and their elitist dupe sycophants. All that to say nothing of our ongoing struggle to expose the space creature alien takeover of tiny little ACoC (Anglican Church of Canada) and their wealthy patron, TEC (The Episcopal Church).

demented space creature

So stay tuned and keep squeezing the trigger if you're fortunate enough to have any bullets.

Cheers,

LSP