BURNING MAN CATASTROPHE

 

A terrible disaster's unfolding at a remote lake bed in Nevada where some 70,000 seriously rich hippies are trapped in a quagmire of toxic mud. The wealthy tech bro hippies expected a freak fayre of no-holds-barred hedonist fun but all they got was rain, which turned the alkaline dust of Burning Man's famous "Playa" lake bed into a poisonous wasteland.

Festival coordinators have shut down entrances and exits and advised "Burners" to "shelter in place," urging the hippies to conserve food and water. The White House itself has been advised of this impending disaster. Oh dear, plague.

Unafraid, the hippies plan to run naked through the mud tonight on their way to worship a burning man effigy, set up at the center of the desert, now swamp, art commune. Good luck, hippies, alkaline mud, lye, is a caustic agent which burns. Then there's fairy shrimp.

Rumors that Monkeypox, EColi, and Ebola have broken out among the Burners are entirely that, vicious rumors, as are reports that this year's Burning Man is about as successful as Fyre.

Cheers,

LSP

Catastrophe Averted

 

It started off well, very well, totally according to plan. Roll into Dallas, check on Ma LSP's property while she's on vacation in the Old Country and make sure everything's sound for her arrival. Simple, elegant, achievable. What a great plan. Then everything fell to pieces.

First off, where's my laptop? Not in the overnight duffle, not in the rig.  No, it was sitting safe and sound in the kitchen of the Compound and useless, even with modern tech, to me in the 'Sprawl. Fail. Attention to detail, LSP, and what about personal admin? Double fail.

You Little Gusher

But no big deal, work from your cell phone, such is progress. Fine, until the next day when it was time to mow the overgrown lawn. "What's this?" I thought over the hum of Ma's nifty electric mower, "Why is the ground so wet, rain?"

Wet as in fixing to become marshland. Hunh. Then lo and behold, not rain but a mini gusher by the pecan tree. I stared at it, Bloody Mary in hand, "It's only a small gusher, maybe we can leave it alone." No. Error. Little gusher became big gusher and the yard began to flood. So I poured a stiff one, got the water turned off to house and got on the line to plumbers.

Problem

They/he came out yesterday and got the job done, fixing a split water line with Sharkbite fittings and capping off a redundant sprinkler system in the process. Good work Tribeca, prompt, personable and at a reasonable cost. Give 'em a shot if you need emergency plumbing in DFW.

Solution

Net result? Water restored to the house and catastrophe averted. Thank God for that, Ma LSP can return home to a place that isn't flooded and has running water. Result. My carefully constructed plan? Shot to hell but you know what they say, improvise, adapt, overcome. Problem? Solution.

Cheers,

LSP

The Adamites?

Around 7000 years before Christ (BC) we're told that mankind, which had been living a jolly hunter-gather sort of life, suddenly domesticated wheat, became farmers and settled down. Nuts, berries and the odd Mastodon steak, so delicious, didn't cut it for them anymore. No, they wanted to farm.

With that, the whole edifice of civilization began, Pyramids, temples, Emperors, armies, philosophers, the FBI, lying, venal, slick, aggressive mainstream media, all of what we know today as civilization came into being. Thanks to wheat at 7000 BC.

Then a German archeologist discovered Gobekli Tepe in Turkey, a temple complex of monumental masonry that dates back to 10,000 BC or 12,000 years before now. 

There they were, the Flintsones, scavenging about for roots, bark, the occasionally unfortunate saber tooth tiger and, as a side hobby, building huge stone temples with sophisticated lithic art. And then, waiting some three thousand years to start farming.

Something doesn't seem right with this picture but there it is. An obviously civilized, stonebuilding, aesthetically skilled culture putting up temples(?) when they should have been foraging about for nuts and wondering why their uncured animal skin clothes smelled so bad. And then, three millennia later, getting it together to grow wheat.

Weird, right? Some speculate that a comet or fragments of one, smashed into or burst above the North American ice sheet around 13,000 years ago, causing massive flooding and an influx of cold, glacial water into the Atlantic. Hence the Younger Dryas cooling and mega fauna extinctions.

Long story short, it would have been a cataclysmic event, characterized by huge flooding, a rise in sea level, die-off level conflagration and global cooling. 

This, some believe, was the Deluge and from it emerged rare survivors from an Ice Age civilization who started afresh, with the seeds, literally, of a previous world. They did so in places such as Gobekli Tepe.

But then, just as civilization began to flourish again, the earth passed through the orbital train of cometary debris from the previous disaster, shutting down sites like Gobekli Tepe, notoriously backfilled around 9,500 BC for no apparent reason. Were they attempting to save their temples from the coming catastrophe?

Who knows, but thanks to intrepid Germans, we can see the mute testimony of their culture today and wonder at the tenacity of the people, the Adamites?, who made it through earthquake, fire and flood to domesticate wheat and build the pyramids.

The rest, of course, is history.

Your Friend,

LSP